Friends Season 8 Episode 10

Ross: Phoebe, you can't force kids to be friends.
Phoebe: Sure you can! Just give em some blocks, put 'em in a playpen.
Ross: Blocks? Phoebe, Ben's seven.
Phoebe: Your kid's seven? He's really small!

Joey: (To Dina) What are you gonna do? You're gonna have the baby and raise it by yourself... without a husband? You can't be a single mother alone! You're gonna ruin your life!
Rachel: Oh, excuse me! Am I ruining my life?
Joey: No! No! No! It's different for you. You're so strong and together. You're not some dumb kid who doesn't know what she's doing.
Dina: Excuse me?
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please!

Joey: (About Bobby and Dina) What am I supposed to do?
Rachel: You're supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
Joey: No, they can't! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Rachel: Hey! Contraceptives are not always effective! (To Bobby and Dina) Right?
Bobby: Yeah... we kinda didn't use any...
Rachel: Oh, come on kids! A little help here!

Joey: Can you do me a favor? I was talkin' to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren--
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, she's really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, y'know, to give her some advice.
Rachel: I guess I can talk to one of my supervisors...
Joey: She wants to talk to you.
Rachel: Really? Oh my God! I'm successful!

Monica: (About the boots) They're a little more than I normally spend on boots... or rent (She shows the receipt to Chandler)
Chandler: Oh my God!
Monica: I know.
Chandler: I'm gonna miss being able to afford food.
Monica: I'm sorry, they just, they just look so good! And the saleswoman was looking at me like, "Oh, these are way too expensive for you."
Chandler: She had a point.

Phoebe: (About the concert tickets) Ooh, where are the seats?
Ross: Uh, middle balcony.
Phoebe: Okay, now would you say that that's more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?
Ross: Yeah.
Phoebe: Then that's not breaking the law! I'm there!

Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! They're killing me! One toe at a time!
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. It's oddly unsettling.

Ross: Well it turns out that Ben and Sting's son do not get along.
Phoebe: How come?!
Ross: Apparently, Sting's son made fun of the fact that Ben's moms are "lesbinims."

Ross: Hey, I uh just picked up Ben from school...
Chandler: (Looking around) I don't think you did a very thorough job!

Joey: (To Rachel and Dina) I'll let you two fash... ists get down to business.

Phoebe: (About Ross talking to Rachel's stomach) How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Rachel: He's talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! Okay, 'cause when he said "I can't wait to hear your first words," I thought "there's a trick!"

Phoebe: Sting's son, seven years old and there's a picture!
Ross: What are you reading, the Kidnapper's Guide to Manhattan's private schools?

Joey: Dina, if you're having a baby, you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby. (Bobby smiles) Dude, that's not a compliment!

Phoebe: Return them and get your money back.
Monica: I can't do that, either. The soles are already a little scuffed, and the insides are filled with my blood!

Monica: Okay, I'm sorry, I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just give me my boots.
Chandler: I don't have your boots.
Monica: Well, I don't have them, either. Where are they?
Chandler: Well, why don't you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay?

Monica: I'm afraid your bosses will see them and think that they pay you too much. Or that your assistants will see them and want a raise.
Chandler: Do you think I work at some kind of boot-pricing company?

Monica: See, Chandler? I'm getting a lot of use out of them already. They're very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants...
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on the street corner to earn the money to pay for them.

Phoebe: (About Ben going to school with Sting's son) You knew this and you didn't say anything with all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us!

Trudie: (About Ben and Jack) I'm sure there are two sides to this story. But all I've heard so far is that Ben's a bit of a poo-poo head.

Monica: Get me closer so I can see the price.
Chandler: I can see the price from here. It's gonna cost you one husband.

Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots don't really go with it.
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants! What were you going to wear? A chicken suit?

Joey: She is the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. You know the SATs?
Rachel: Yeah.
Joey: She took 'em!

Phoebe: (About Sting's son) Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.