Season 1 Episode 11

The One with Mrs. Bing

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Jan 05, 1995 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Phoebe: Do you think they have yesterday's Daily News?
      Monica: Why?
      Phoebe: I just wanna check my horoscope--see if it was right.

    • Phoebe: (shouting right in Coma Guy's face) Get up, you Girl Scout! Up, up, up!
      Monica: What are you doing?
      Phoebe: Maybe nobody's tried this.

    • Chandler: (to Phoebe and Monica) Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?

    • Joey: (to Monica about her cat-calling the coma-guy) I can't believe you said, "Woo-hoo"... I don't even say, "Woo-hoo".

    • Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
      Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of Mistress Bitch!

    • Paolo: (coming into the apartment) Buona sera...
      Rachel: Hi sweetie. (kisses him)
      Ross: (dryly, to the others) When did "Rigatoni" get back from Rome?

    • Mrs. Bing: (to Jay Leno on television) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
      Chandler: Now why would she say that's embarrassing?
      All: Shhh.
      Mrs. Bing: (on television) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
      Chandler: (shouting at the TV) That's too much information!

    • Mrs. Bing: (on television) I bought my son his first condoms.
      (Everyone turns to look at Chandler) 
      Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.

    • Phoebe: (about Coma Guy's name) What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
      Monica: Nah, not special enough.
      Phoebe: Ooh! How about Agamemnon?
      Monica: Way too special...

    • Mrs. Bing: (looking at a restaurant menu) I am famished... What do I want...?
      Chandler: Please, God, don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken...

    • Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written... No, I mean it! I mean, when I read "Euphoria at Midnight", all I wanted to do was become a writer.
      Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen... If I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! have got yourself a book.
      Chandler: My mother, ladies and gentlemen!

    • Mrs. Bing: Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and ya know why?
      Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?

    • Mrs. Bing: (referring to Paolo-types) He's not a hero... You know who our hero is?
      Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?

    • Joey: (when headed for the washroom he encounters Ross and Mrs. Bing kissing) Uh... I'll just pee in the street.

    • Joey: You broke the code!
      Ross: What code?
      Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay... maybe a hot-looking aunt, but not a mom. Never a mom!!

    • Joey: You don't think my mom's sexy?
      Ross: Well, not in the same way...
      Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
      Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...

    • (Ross and Joey are in the hall, talking about Ross kissing Chandler's mom)
      : (coming out of Monica's) What're you guys doing out here?
      Ross: Well, not playing racquetball!
      Joey: He forgot to leave his grip...
      Ross: He didn't get the goggles!
      Rachel: Well... sounds like you two have issues.

    • (Ross and Joey are in Monica's kitchen, still talking about "the kiss")
      : (coming from her bedroom) What're you guys doing here?
      Joey: Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!
      Monica(after a moment of bewilderment) What'd I ask...?

    • Ross: (to Chandler about kissing his mother) I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila... and Nora, um, Mrs. Mom--your Bing, was just being nice.

    • Chandler: You knew about this?
      Joey: Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing...

    • Phoebe: Going to the hospital tonight?
      Monica: No, you?
      Phoebe: No, you?
      Monica: You just asked me.
      Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question.

    • Chandler: Hey, you kissed my Mom.
      Ross: (to Central Perk customers who are staring) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
      Chandler: That's very funny. Are we done?

    • Chandler: (to his Mom) You kissed my best Ross! ...or something to that effect.

    • (Joey is in the hallway, listening to Chandler and his Mom through the door)
      Joey: (to Ross) He told her off! And not just about the kiss, about everything!
      Ross: You're kidding!
      Joey: No, no! He said ,"When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"
      Ross: Wow!
      Joey: Wait! ...and then she came back with, "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realize I have a bomb?"
      Ross: Hey, wait a minute... Are you sure she didn't say, "When are you gonna grow up and realize... I am your mom?"
      Joey: (thinking about it, then smiling and nodding) That makes more sense...

    • Chandler: So I told her.
      Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
      Chandler: Awful... Awful... Couldn't have gone worse...
      Ross: Well, how do ya feel?
      Chandler: Pretty good! ...I told her!
      Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, huh? (catches himself) But we don't have to go down that road.

    • Rachel: (handing out copies of her book) Okay... now this is just the first chapter... and I want your absolute honest opinion, okay? Oh! ...and on page two, he's not reaching for her "heaving beasts".
      Phoebe: What? She could have "heaving beasts".
      Rachel: Right, right... but in this case, she doesn't.
      Monica: What's a "niffle"?
      Joey: You can usually find them on the "heaving beasts".
      Rachel: Alright, alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist...
      Ross: Wait... Did you get to the part about his "huge, throbbing pens"? I'll tell ya... you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
      Rachel: Alright, that's it... Give 'em back!
      Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, no! I just got to the part about her "public hair."

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Ross: I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
      Joey: Right. No big deal.
      Ross: Okay.
      Joey: Bizarro World!
      Bizarro, a property of DC Comics, is one of Superman's arch enemies. Bizarro is the exact opposite of Superman in every way, hence Joey's allusion.

    • Phoebe: I hate that they're calling him John Doe. It's so sad. It's like he's a deer, a female deer.
      Monica: Phoebe.
      Phoebe: Oh, I was gonna stop.
      This is an allusion to the lyrics from The Sound of Music song, "Do-Re-Mi".

    • (Suggesting possible names for the guy in a coma)
      Phoebe: How about Agamemnon?

      In Greek mythology, Agamemnon was the commander-in-chief of the Greek army during the Trojan War. He was eventually murdered by his unfaithful wife Clytemnestra.

    • Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend at Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
      Weekend at Bernie's is a dark comedy from 1989.