Season 7 Episode 3

The One with Phoebe's Cookies

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Oct 19, 2000 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Trivia: In this episode, Chandler is wearing glasses for the first time, however, in Season 6's "The One That Could Have Been", as an out-of-work writer, he was already wearing glasses.

    • Trivia: Phoebe implies that she's going to die on October 15, 2032. The cause of her death would have to be by disease or accident, since, if Phoebe is the same age as Lisa Kudrow, she'd only be sixty-nine at that time. Since the average lifespan of women in the US is almost seventy-nine, it's unlikely her death would be from natural causes.

    • Goof: When Rachel is teaching Joey to sail, she keeps stressing the fact that if you don't know the rules of the sea you could die: "This isn't a game; you could really get hurt out here!". Ironically, the first rule of safety when boating is to wear a life-jacket, yet at no time does Rachel or Joey have one on (Rachel is wearing a red, insulated vest their first time out that viewers might think is a life-jacket, but it is not. Their second time out she is just wearing a light sweater).

    • Continuity: Phoebe says she promised her grandmother on her death bed to keep the cookie recipe in the family. But in "The One with Joey's Bag", she says that her grandmother died in the grocery store.

    • Goof: When Chandler removes his robe while going into the steam room, his underwear is visible. However the episode insinuates that he was nude.

    • Goof: At the end of the episode when Rachel and Joey start eating sandwiches, Rachel clearly loosens her grip to let the meat fall out.

    • Goof: When Rachel and Joey are sailing on the boat, the background changes between shots.

    • Goof: Rachel tightens the windward sheet of the jib. In other words, she tightens the right side rope on the front sail, while the sail is on the left side of the boat.

    • Continuity: When Ross invites Chandler to the health club, he says that Mr. Geller requested "Chauncy." Yet in the previous episode, the Gellers clearly knew Chandler's name when they were out to dinner, not to mention that they've known him since he was Ross's college roommate, and he has visited the family several times.

    • Continuity: In this episode Rachel teaches Joey how to sail, saying she owned a boat when she was younger and has been sailing her whole life. But in "The One Where Ross Moves In" Rachel tells her neighbor Danny that she doesn't sail.

    • Goof: When Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are taste-testing the cookie batches, Monica breaks the whole cookie in her hand in half. When the shot changes, the cookie is whole and she breaks it again. Then the shot changes again and the cookie is missing a different chunk at the top.

  • Quotes

    • Chandler: I got glasses!
      Ross: Well, you, you've always had glasses.
      Chandler: No I didn't!
      Ross: Are you sure?

    • Chandler: You didn't think I used to wear glasses, right?
      Monica: Of course! (mouthing to the gang) I had no idea!

    • Rachel: (about a gift for Monica and Chandler) Oh, you know what you should get 'em? One of those, uh, portable CD players.
      Monica: Oh, I already have one.
      Phoebe: (insinuating Rachel) Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.
      Rachel: (awkwardly) ...Yeah, and by "someone", she means... Joey.

    • Monica: (to Phoebe about an engagement present) I know what I want!
      Chandler: What we want, honey!
      Monica: No, you don't want this. (to Phoebe) I want to have your grandmother's cookie recipe.
      Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
      Monica: Uh-huh--yeah!
      Phoebe: You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?
      Chandler: Dying people say the craziest things.

    • Monica: I'm gonna be the mom who makes the best chocolate chip cookies!
      Chandler: Our kids are gonna be fat, aren't they?

    • Rachel: When I was fifteen my dad bought me my own boat.
      Phoebe: Your own boat?
      Rachel: What?! He was trying to cheer me up! pony was sick.

    • Ross: Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
      Chandler: Uh, why, do you have a lecture?
      Ross: No, why?
      Chandler: Free as a bird! What's up?

    • Ross: Uh, my dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
      Monica: Wow, that's great! (to Chandler) Dad must really like you, he doesn't ask just anyone to play.
      Ross: Yeah, and he didn't really ask for you, he asked for "Chauncey". I assumed he meant you.
      Chandler: Well, did you correct him?
      Ross: No, I thought it would be more fun this way.

    • Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the cookie recipe and that stupid fire burned it up!
      Monica: No! Why didn't you make a copy and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!
      Phoebe: Because... I'm normal!

    • Phoebe: I don't have the recipe, but here... (hands Monica a baggie with a cookie in it) I wish you health and happiness.
      Chandler: An old cookie?
      Monica: (to Chandler) This is what happens when you don't register for gifts!
      Phoebe: But no, I made a batch and froze it and this is the only one left.
      Chandler: We can't accept this.
      Phoebe: Why not?
      Chandler: Because it's gross.

    • Joey: (out on his boat with Rachel, drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (to Rachel) Who names his boat "Coast Guard", anyway?
      Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
      Joey: Well, what are they doing out here? (yelling to them and pointing) The coast's all the way over there!

    • Rachel: Quick question, though... (grabs a rope) What's this called?
      Joey: Uh, boat rope?
      Rachel: Wrong. How do you get the mainsail up?
      Joey: Uh... (grinning) rub it?
      Rachel: No. What do you do if I say we are comin' about?
      Joey: I'd say, "Come again?" No, no, I know this one. I know this one, uh...
      Rachel: (blows air horn directly at his ear) Time's up. Now you're dead.
      Joey: ...and deaf!

    • Chandler: (about Ross's Dad) We were getting along really well. We were really bonding. He even said I could call him "Dad".
      Ross: But what didn't he say you could call him?
      Chandler: (embarrassed) ..."Daddy".

    • Monica: Oh my God Chandler! I can't believe it!
      Chandler: I know.
      Monica: You gave my father a lap dance!

    • Chandler: Why'd they put so much steam in there?!
      Ross: 'Cause otherwise they'd have to call it the... "room... room."

    • Ross: (about his dad) He still tells the story about how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.
      Monica: I wasn't escaping.
      Ross: Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire?
      Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
      Ross: You were trying to eat it!

    • Chandler: (phone rings) If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
      Monica: C'mon... (answers the phone) Hello? (listens) I'm sorry you have the wrong number. (whispering) Okay, I'll call you later dad. I love you. (hangs up)

    • Chandler: Alright. I'm off to see your dad.
      Ross: Whoa, whoa. Aren't you a little overdressed?
      Rachel: Yeah, and you better make sure he tips you this time.
      Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore and I figured the best way to do that was face to face--and by "face"... I don't mean his lap... and by "face"... I don't mean my ass.

    • Rachel: So, when are we gettin' back out on the water, matey?
      Joey: Well, uh... I don't know the "boat way" to say this but, uh--never!!
      Rachel: Why not?
      Joey: Because... you're mean on the boat!
      Rachel: What? I was just trying to teach you!
      Joey: Well, lesson learned. (emphasizing to Ross) Rachel is mean!!
      Ross: Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep. I remember when she took me out on her dad's boat? ...she wouldn't let me help out--at all!
      Rachel: Uh, excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldn't move your arms because you were wearing three life-jackets.
      Ross: (after giving her a stern look) You have to respect the sea!!

    • Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer, pinhead"?
      Rachel: Does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson?
      Joey: Six and a half!

    • Rachel: (about teaching Joey to sail) Alright, y'know what? I, I'm sorry. I will try to tone it down and, uh... stop yelling.
      Joey: You won't boss me around anymore?
      Rachel: I won't boss you around.
      Joey: And you'll be nice?
      Rachel: And I'll be nice.
      Joey: And you'll be topless?
      Rachel: And... Joey!!
      Joey: Do you want me to learn?!

    • Monica: Man, I have not made this many cookies since I was in the ninth grade.
      Phoebe: Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?
      Monica: No, just a Friday night.

    • Rachel: (after screaming at Joey on his boat) Oh, God, Joey! Oh... I'm my father! Oh, my God, this is horrible! I've been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this coming.

    • Phoebe: Y'know, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that we're trying to figure out her recipe. I bet she's looking up at us and smiling right now.
      Ross: Looking "up"?
      Phoebe: Oh yeah, no. She was really nice to me, but she's in hell for sure.

    • Ross: Aw, Pheebs, c'mon... Isn't there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister?
      Phoebe: Oh, no-no-no. I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula is over my dead body. And that's not happening 'til October 15th, 2032.
      Ross: That's the day you're gonna die? See, darn it, I've got shuffleboard that day.
      Phoebe: (wryly) That's what you think.

    • Phoebe: My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Neselé Toulouse...
      Monica: What was her name?
      Phoebe: Neselé Toulouse...
      Monica: Nestlé Toll House?!
      Phoebe: Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language.
      Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestlé Toll House chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe?
      Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes! (realizes) Oh...
      Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
      Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why... (looking down and shouting) you're burning in hell!!

    • Jack: There's nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy, I was unemployed. And her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
      Chandler: Wh-What'd you do when they found out?
      Jack: They never did. So if you ever see me giving them legal advice, just... nod along.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Rachel: I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson!
      Mike Tyson is a former American world heavyweight boxing champion. He is known for the controversy when he bit off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear during a match.

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