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Season 2 Episode 4

The One with Phoebe's Husband

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Oct 12, 1995 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Continuity: Rachel says that Monica had sex with Fun Bobby out on the balcony. However in "The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath" Chandler wants to have sex on the balcony and Monica refuses.

  • Quotes

    • Rachel: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
      Ross: No kidding?
      Rachel: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
      Ross: What?
      Rachel: I'd wait.
      Ross: You'd wait?
      Rachel: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait... then I'd wait some more.
      Ross: Really?
      Rachel: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if she begs, she pleads, she tells you she's gonna have sex with another man. That just means it's working.
      Ross: Women really want this?
      Rachel: More than jewelry.

    • Rachel: (sarcastically) Oh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special.
      Monica: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
      Rachel: Oh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.

    • Rachel: (on the phone) Mom, would you relax? That was ten blocks from here and the woman was walking alone at night. I would never do that. Mom, come on, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing-- (A pigeon flies in through the window) Oh, my God, I gotta go. (Hangs up the phone) Okay, that's fine, you just read the paper. I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. Okay, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. (Traps the pigeon in a pot) Ah, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, ah.

    • Duncan: Hi.
      Rachel: Hi, can I help you?
      Duncan: Yeah, I'm looking for Phoebe. Does she still live here?
      Rachel: Uh, no she doesn't but I can get a message to her.
      Duncan: Great. Uh, just tell her her husband stopped by.
      Rachel: What?!
      (Due to her surprise, she accidentally releases the captured pigeon from the pot.)
      Duncan: Hey, how, how did you do that?

    • Ross: (about Chandler's third nipple) So what's it shaped like?
      Phoebe: Yeah, is there a hair on it?
      Joey: What happens if you flick it?

    • Phoebe: I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
      Duncan: I know, that's what I kept telling myself, but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.

    • Joey: (watching his porno) Shh, okay, here I come, here I come. See I'm coming to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinking what do I do, what do I do?... so I just watch them have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line... (from the television) You know that's bad for the paper tray.
      Chandler: Nice work my friend.
      Joey: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am...

    • Ross: Oh, what's the longest you've been in the relationship before having the sex?
      Rachel: Why? Who's not having... Are you and Julie not having sex?
      Ross: Technically, huh, no.
      Rachel: Wow. Is it because she's so cold in bed? Or is it because she's like, kind of bossy, makes it feel like school?

    • Chandler: (about his third nipple) It's just a tiny bump, it doesn't even do anything!
      Rachel: Oh, as opposed to your other, multi-functional nipples?

    • Joey: (about Chandler's third nipple) I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
      Ross: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
      Joey: I don't know. You see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was.

    • Chandler: Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, it's gone now. You're alright.

    • Chandler: What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie.
      Ross: Pop it in.
      Joey: I'm fine with it. I mean, if you're OK watching a video filled with two nippled people.

    • Rachel: Let's just talk. We never just hang out and talk anymore.
      Monica: Rachel, that's all we do.

    • Chandler: (about the porno) Okay, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
      Monica: All I say is, she better get the job.
      Ross: Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.

    • Julie: You know, in some cultures, having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
      Chandler: Huh. Are any of these cultures perchance in the tri-state area?

    • Monica: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
      Phoebe: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
      Monica: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
      Ross: You see, and you thought she'd be judgemental.

    • Ross: Oh darn it... we're all out of milk. (Holds the pitcher up to Chandler's chest) Hey, Chandler, will you fill me up here?
      Chandler: Oh I see, because of the third nipple thing. (Laughs sarcastically)

    • (Ross is dancing in the street to Gene Kelly singing, "Singin' in the Rain")
      : (to two women sitting on a bench) Good morning!
      Woman: (to her friend) Well, somebody got some last night.
      Ross: (circles back and leans in close) Twice!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Phoebe: So, wow, this is pretty wonderful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mister Rogers' Ice is Nice.

      Mr. Rogers was a beloved children icon who had a long running show on PBS, Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. King Friday was one of the puppets, the ruler of the fantasy kingdom full of puppets; all of whom Mr. Rogers performed.

    • Chandler: The turns aren't as fast, but when Snoopy falls, funny.

      Snoopy is a character in the long-running comic strip Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz. He is Charlie Brown's pet beagle.

    • Phoebe: Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan, he's skating tonight at the Garden, he's in the Capades.
      The "Garden" is the nickname for New York City's famous Madison Square Garden, home of the Knicks and Rangers.
      The Ice Capades, or "Capades", are figure-skating shows based on popular themes.

    • Ross: (referring to Chandler's "third nipple") So, does it do something special?
      Chandler: Yes, Ross. Pressing on my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.
      This is a reference to the world inside a wardrobe in the Chronicles Of Narnia, a book series written by C.S. Lewis.