Season 9 Episode 12

The One with Phoebe's Rats

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Jan 16, 2003 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Goof: When Mike and Phoebe are talking about getting rid of the baby rats, Phoebe puts the box on the coffee table. When the camera angle changes to Mike, the box is back in her lap.

    • Goof: When Ross and Chandler race to Ross's apartment, they do so to stop Joey from making his move on the nanny. Presumably if Joey had not followed the nanny, they would all still be at Rachel's party. Why then, has the nanny arranged for her girlfriend to turn up, and for her to leave for the night? She didn't know Ross would be there until he arrives a few minutes previously.

    • Goof: In the scene where Monica tells Rachel that somebody got her shoes as a birthday gift, Rachel sits on the sofa next to Monica to open the box. When they see the rats in the box, Monica and Rachel jumps off the sofa. However, right in the next shot Monica is sitting on the sofa quite in the same position she was in before.

  • Quotes

    • Joey: Hey. Where's Mon?
      Chandler: Oh, she's upstairs putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party.
      Joey: ...And you're not helping?
      Chandler: I tried, but apparently singing "I Will Survive" in a helium voice is not helping.

    • Joey & Chandler: Hey! (starting to sing) Happy birthday...
      Rachel: Shhh! Don't say that loud! Gunther's gonna wanna hug me.

    • Rachel: (about the new nanny) You really think she's hot?
      Chandler: Are you kidding? If I wasn't married she'd be rejecting me right now.
      Rachel: And Joey?
      Joey: How ya think she's doin'?
      Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
      Ross: Enh, I mean... she's not unattractive, but hot...?
      Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)
      Chandler: Now that Rachel's gone...?
      Ross: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night.

    • Phoebe: (doing a crossword puzzle) Hey, Mike... what's the capital of Peru?
      Mike: Lima.
      Phoebe: No... It starts with a "V" and ends with an "X"... hopefully with a "T-O" in the middle.
      Mike: Y'know, come to think of it, the capital of Peru is "Vtox."

    • Mike: You can't keep a rat in your apartment. They're extremely unsanitary. They transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus...
      Phoebe: What are those?
      Mike: I don't know, but they don't sound like spa treatments!

    • Rachel: (to Gavin) I'm sorry. Obviously, Heather's ass has something more important to say, so I'll just wait 'til it's finished.

    • Gavin: Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous?
      Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass..."
      (Gavin starts looking)
      Rachel: Stop looking at my ass!

    • Rachel: (about Gavin staring at Heather) I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, okay? This is a work environment... she's your subordinate.
      Gavin: ...But it was okay when you slept with your old assistant, Tag?
      Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons... One, I didn't know that you knew that... and two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass. We had a... We had a deep, meaningful relationship.
      Gavin: Huh. What was Tag's last name?
      Rachel: It was... (trying to remember) Oh, my God! (recovering) He didn't, he didn't have a last name! It was just "Tag." Y'know, like "Cher", or... y'know, "Moses".
      Gavin: But it was a deep, meaningful relationship.
      Rachel: Oh, y'know what? first impression of you was absolutely right! You are arrogant, you are pompous--Morgan! Morgan! Tag's last name was Morgan! Ha!
      Gavin: It was Jones.
      Rachel: Ohhh, what are you, his boyfriend?

    • Joey: I wish I had a nanny like you.
      Molly: You mean when you were a baby?
      Joey: Uh, sure.

    • Phoebe: What are you doing?
      Mike: Setting rat traps.
      Phoebe: To kill Bob?
      Mike: No, no. To test his neck strength.

    • Phoebe: (trying to find her "visitor" rat) Bob? Bob? Robert!

    • Phoebe: (after hearing the rat-trap snap) Oh my God, we killed Bob?!
      Mike: Well, maybe it wasn't Bob... Maybe it was a mouse.
      Phoebe: Susie?!

    • Ross: Wazzup!
      Chandler: Seriously, three years ago.

    • Chandler: (about Joey) You don't trust him?
      Ross: No! Today some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called and asked to speak to her daughter, the "hot nanny."

    • Chandler: (to Ross) You know as well as I do once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.

    • Joey: (to Chandler, who's trying to stop him from hitting on the hot nanny) Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
      Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did... so I can't let you go.
      Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.
      Chandler: Great novels?
      Joey: Fine. Mediocre porn.

    • Rachel: (about inviting Gavin to her party) Why did you invite him? I can't stand that guy!
      Monica: But you were just being so nice to him.
      Rachel: I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake? (to a coworker) Oh, hey Mr. Phillips, nice suit!
      Monica: Right there, that was so fake!
      Rachel: Shhh!

    • Rachel: (about Molly, Emma's new nanny) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
      Monica: I wouldn't kick her out of bed. (catching herself) No more vodka for me.

    • Rachel: Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?
      Phoebe: No. Seven Rats. (to Mike) I think we should take them home. We need to feed them.
      Rachel: You're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?
      Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry Rachel, I'm not like you. Not everyone can afford help.

    • Ross: Hey, where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
      Chandler: (in a helium voice, holding a balloon) I'm sorry. I got a little preoccupied.
      Ross: Look, we have to stop them before something happens.
      Chandler: (still in a helium voice) Right behind ya, big guy.

    • Mike: (to Phoebe) When did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats?

    • Rachel: (to Monica) Thanks for the party, honey... Should I help you clean up...?
      Monica: No way! You had your party, now I have mine!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Chandler: That's it? It's over? Who shot J.R.? Who shot J.R.?!
      "Who Shot J.R.?" is a reference to the TV show Dallas, where the character J.R. Ewing gets shot in the last scene of the final episode of Season 2. During the wait for Season 3, "Who Shot J.R.?" became one of the most famous TV series cliffhangers ever.

    • Chandler: I tried, but apparently singing "I will survive" in a helium voice... not helping.
      "I Will Survive" is a song made famous by Gloria Gaynor.

    • Phoebe: (about her baby rats mating) Mate? They're all brothers and sisters!
      Mike: Yeah, not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animal.
      This is a reference to the song "Love The One You're With" by Stephen Stills.

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