Season 10 Episode 12

The One with Phoebe's Wedding

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Feb 12, 2004 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (Phoebe has asked Joey to give her away and he's accepted)
      : (to Joey, tenderly) I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
      Joey: (voice breaking) I hope you know... (turns around) I don't want you to see your father cry. Go to your room!

    • Monica: I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800-hours.
      Phoebe: Uh-huh. Okay, what time is that?
      Monica: You don't know military time?
      Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
      Monica: Just subtract twelve.
      Phoebe: Okay, so... eighteen hundred minus twelve is... one thousand, seven hundred and--
      Monica: Six o'clock!

    • Chandler: I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner. I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
      Phoebe: Chandler, what did we say was your one gift to us?
      Chandler: No stupid jokes. But I thought that was for the actual wedding.
      Phoebe: Rehearse it.

    • Phoebe: So, Rach'?
      Rachel: Yeah?
      Phoebe: Where's Emma?
      Rachel: Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix. 
      Monica: (coming into the room) Are you still crying about your damn baby?

    • Chandler: (about not playing a role in Phoebe's wedding) This is like the figure-skating team all over again! (realizes how girlie it sounded) I mean... synchronized swimming! I mean, I mean the balance beam! (to Ross) Help me!
      Ross: Football!
      Chandler: Thank you.

    • Monica: Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
      Phoebe: I thought the pot-stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
      Monica: Yeah, I changed them... I sent you a fax about it.
      Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
      Monica: Huh. Well then there are gonna be a few surprises.

    • Ross: I can't believe we're going to be the only people who aren't in this wedding!
      Chandler: I know. I hate being left out of things!
      Ross: And it's a wedding! It'll be weird if I'm not in it!

    • Joey: (to Mike) So what are your intentions with my Phoebe?

    • Monica: Nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. Just get in, do your thing and get out.
      Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?

    • Phoebe: (yelling) Monica I can't do it like this! This is my wedding! Okay, I don't want this (mimes twirling hand, move-it-along gesture), or this (taps watch), or this (mimes throat-cutting "end-it" gesture) Okay? I just wanted a simple wedding.... (screaming) Where my fiancé can go to the bathroom anytime he wants!!

    • Phoebe: (on the phone) No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright, I gotta go. I have another call, Reverend.

    • Joey: I'm glad we had this little talk.
      Mike: Yes. Yeah, and thanks for all the wedding night advice. (walking away) That didn't make me uncomfortable at all.

    • Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding?
      Rachel: Well... In my defense, you weren't supposed to tell each other!

    • Phoebe: Help me.
      Monica: What?
      Phoebe: I want you to be crazy bitch again.

    • Monica: (shouting) Level one alert! I repeat, level one... This is not a drill! (to the gang) Okay, we've got a situation, the minister just called, he's snowed in, he can't make it.
      Mike: Oh, no!
      Joey: (to Monica) Oh, hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding.
      Monica: Really?
      Joey: Yeah. You think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Huh.
      Ross: ...Ministers don't ride the subway for free.
      Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... Yah, we do!

    • Monica: (to Chandler, checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300-hours.

    • Chandler: (as Phoebe removes her coat) Wow! Aren't you going to be cold?
      Phoebe: I don't care. I'll be my something blue.

    • Joey: (performing the ceremony) Welcome, friends, family, dog. The cold has now spread to my special place, so I'm gonna do the short version of this.

    • Phoebe: (exchanging vows) When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else. And I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need. You are my family.
      Mike: Phoebe, you're so beautiful. You're so kind, so generous, so wonderfully weird. Everyday with you is an adventure. I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you, forever.

    • Chandler: That really was an incredible wedding.
      Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
      Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300-hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.

  • Notes

  • Allusions