Friends Season 10 Episode 14

Mackenzie: Who are you?
Joey: I'm Joey. My idiot friends are buying the house.
Mackenzie: I'm Mackenzie. My idiot parents are selling the house.

Phoebe: Hey Mon, was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this.
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Monica: Hum the... the ministry... of names... bureau...

Chandler: We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
Joey: No, thank you.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.

Chandler: How'd the interview go?
Rachel: Oh! It's not good.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
Chandler: That is a bad interview.

Joey: This place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.
Monica: No, it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Monica: Maybe because you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Oh, it's pretty dark.
Monica: No, it's not!
Joey: Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Chandler: When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?

Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Rachel: Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him.
Ross: That is Mark?
Rachel: Yes.
Ross: I hate that guy! No, no, no, you cannot go to dinner with him.
Rachel: What? You don't want me to get a job?
Ross: Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his sexretary.

Ross: Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (They all stare at each other.)

Ross: How was dinner?
Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
Ross: Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Ross: Should we send something?

Ross: Gunther, we need six glasses.
Gunther: Really? You're inviting me to have some?
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Then five would be good. (Realizes what he did) Wow, I'm gonna get a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.

Joey: I bet you I can even get Mike to do that thing. What is it?
(Phoebe whisper's into Joey's ear)
Joey: I am not gonna help you do that!

Joey: Guess what? I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for.
Phoebe: I do. He's been working on that all day.

Phoebe: (To Monica and Chandler) Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.

Rachel: (To maitre d') Hi, I'm here to see Mr Campbell with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like "Gukky" which could be confusing.

Ross: That guy Mark, from Bloomingdale's. She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Chandler: It's seven years ago. My time machine worked!

Joey: I just talked to the little girl who lives here and she made me feel a lot better.
Chandler: Joey, a girl used to live here, but she died like, 30 years ago.
Joey: What?!
Chandler: No, I'm just messing with you.
Joey: That's not funny! You know how scared I am of little girl ghosts!

Joey: Oh, I know! We can go in there and you can tell them the house is haunted.
Mackenzie: What are you, eight?
Joey: Well, I don't see you coming up with any bright ideas!
Mackenzie: I don't have any good ideas. I am eight.