Trivia: In the previous episode, the black and white vase under the mirror in Ross's apartment was on the table behind the lounge.
Goof: A major part of this episode centers around Rachel giving her phone number to a man named Bill who she meets at a bar, and then worrying about how Ross will react when Bill calls their apartment. However, when Bill asked Rachel for her phone number, he made it clear he would be calling her a little later that night if he and his friend found any good parties. We know from "The One with Joey's New Brain" that Rachel definitely has a cell phone she carries with her. Why then would Rachel give Bill her home number rather than her cell phone number (even if the Ross situation was not a factor)?
Chandler: (on the phone) Joey just called. He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.
Monica: Really? But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant. If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Chandler: But it's courtside. The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr-- (checking himself) That's not the way to convince you!
Monica: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game! You have to spend time with me!" So, if you could just realize it on your own...
Ross: (looking at Rachel dressed to go out) Wow, you look. Uh... It's just... that dress...
Rachel: Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good.
Ross: Well, well, they're good. It's been a while since I've seen you like this. You, you clean up good!
Rachel: Oh well, well thank you.
(Ross keeps staring at her)
Rachel: Okay, stop. Stop looking at me like that! (pointing to Ross) The last time that happened, (pointing to Emma) that happened.
Rachel: Oh that's so cute. Ross and Mike's first date. Is that going to be awkward? I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
Ross: I don't know. But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know. He plays piano; I played keyboards in college. He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area.
Mike: I've got beer.
Ross: I've got bottled breast milk.
Mike: Why don't we just start with the beer?
Chandler: (hushed) No, no, no, no, no. Joey can't know that I'm here.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game. So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
Monica: So, you lied to him?
Chandler: Ah. It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion. (realizing) Except with you.
(Joey knocks on Monica's door and she opens it wearing a negligee)
Joey: What are you... Why are you dressed like that?
Monica: Oh, because, um... well, Chandler's going to be home in a couple of days. So, I thought I would, you know... practice the art of seduction.
Joey: (on the phone to Chandler) I don't know how to tell you this, but I think Monica's cheatin' on you. I told you, you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you!
Ross: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now? I mean, they said thirty minutes or less. Well, how long has it been?
Mike: Eleven minutes. (looks at his watch for awhile) ...and now twelve.
Mike: What is the difference between beer and lager?
Ross: I don't know. We could look it up.
Mike: Thing's are about to get wild.
Rachel: (about Ross) First he told me he liked how I looked... then we had a little, um, eye contact.
Phoebe: Eye contact? Well, I hope you were using protection.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Nothing has to happen with these guys, we're just out having fun. Not everything has to go as far as... "eye contact".
Monica: Chandler, you have to tell Joey you're not in Tulsa.
Chandler: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?
(Monica gives him a look)
Chandler: I heard it!
Chandler: I'll go down the fire escape, then I'll wait for awhile, then when I come up the stairs it'll be like I just got back from Tulsa. Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here!
Monica: Aren't you afraid that Joey's gonna figure all this out?
(Chandler gives her a look)
Monica: I heard it!
Mike: (on the phone to Phoebe about going back into Ross's apartment) What? Go back? ...to the land where time stands still?
Joey: (to Chandler just arriving) Wow, that didn't take long! I thought you said Tulsa was like, a three-hour flight?
Chandler: Well... you're forgetting about the time difference.
Joey: Why do I smell men's cologne?
Monica: I think that's you.
Joey: Oh yeah, I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.
Joey: If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
Chandler: (to Monica) I climb down the fire escape, and you can't put that in the closet?!
Mike: (reading from the encyclopedia) So except for the fermentation process beer and ale are basically the same thing. Fascinating, isn't it?
Ross: Maybe you should look up "fascinating".
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife? Do you think I'm like, "Duhhh?" (hits himself with a bat)
Monica: Maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.
Chandler: You're gonna put sweats on and clean, aren't you?
Monica: It's gonna be so hot!
Rachel: What did you guys do?
Ross: You know, drank some beer, Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
Mike: It's true. I did.
International Episode Title:
France: Celui qui n'osait pas dire la vérité (The One Who Couldn't Tell The Truth)
This episode runs 26:04 on DVD (a typical sitcom runs about 22:00).
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