The Male Patron
The Customer [as Lex Arquette]
Goof: When Jill drops her shopping bags on the coffee shop table, the small blue Tiffany's bag is visible on the table, along with the other bags. However, in the shots after Rachel enters, the little blue bag disappears. Furthermore, when Rachel grabs the bags and leaves, Ross seems to pick the little blue bag up off the floor, though it is not shown how the bag got there.
Goof: After Jill arrives and everyone is sitting around the living room table, the camera angle cuts to Chandler and Monica sitting on the couch. When Chandler says "Boy, did we make friends with the wrong sister," a camera man is clearly visible standing in the kitchen behind him.
Trivia: In Jill's second scene, she arrives after having just come back from shopping and spending her daddy's money via credit cards. Rachel did the exact same thing in "The One Where Monica Gets A Roommate".
Continuity: Monica says she hasn't been sick in over three years, but she was sick in "The One with Joey's New Girlfriend", which was only two years ago.
Joey: Okay Rach', that's muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together that's... (calculating) $12.75.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldn't split our eighty-dollar phone bill in half.
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isn't free?
Joey: (gesturing towards the girl who just left) It will be when you'll look like that in a tight skirt!
Rachel: Wait a minute... Joe, you're only giving away free stuff to the pretty girls?
Phoebe: Joey, that is so gross!
Joey: (coming on to Phoebe) How about a scone on the house, baby?
Phoebe: (giggles shyly) I'm pretty.
Monica: I'm not sick! I don't get sick! Getting sick is for weaklings! It's for pansies!
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks that you're a pansy, but... we do think that you need a tissue.
Monica: I don't need a tissue! I'm fine-d!
Ross: When you put a 'D' at the end of "fine", you're not fine.
Monica: I'm fine-d. I'm fine-d! Y'know, it's a really hard word to say.
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill.
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel.
Chandler: Oh my God, introduce us.
Joey: (to Jill, grinning) Hey, how you doin'?
Phoebe: So which sister is this, the spoiled one or the one that bit her?
Jill: (to Rachel) Daddy cut me off!
Phoebe: Never mind, I got it.
Jill: And you know what I said to him? I said, I'm gonna hire a lawyer, and I'm gonna sue you and take all your money, and then I'm gonna cut you off!
Rachel: Wow. Then what did he say?
Jill: He said he wouldn't pay for my lawyer.
Jill: Okay, I bought a boat.
Monica: You bought a boat?
Jill: Yeah, but it wasn't for me, it was for a friend.
Chandler: Boy, did we make friends with the wrong sister.
Jill: Okay, I'm really gonna do this! I don't know how to thank you guys!
Phoebe: Oh, I like cars.
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning... Jan gets fifty, fifty for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Gunther: For all the free food you gave away.
Joey: Well, if it's free food, how come you're charging me for it?
Gunther: We don't give anything away unless it's someone's birthday.
Joey: Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest?
Jill: (coming into Central Perk loaded down with shopping bags) I just had the hardest day... some of these are so heavy...
Ross: Jill, how did you pay for all this? I thought your dad took away your credit card.
Jill: Oh, please. I memorized those numbers when I was fifteen.
Ross: I don't think charging new clothes to your dad qualifies as making it on your own.
Jill: Ooh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical!
Phoebe: Seriously, I don't think Rachel's gonna think it's such a good idea.
Jill: So, who made her queen of the world?
Phoebe: I would love that job!
Phoebe: And, and then I got uh, these... are apartment pants.
Rachel: Apartment pants?
Phoebe: Yeah, you never heard of 'em?
Jill: (crying melodramatically) I'm sorry, Rachel, I'm...
Rachel: Oh, come on. Do you really think that's going to work on me? I invented that!
Jill: (stops crying abruptly) Oh, right.
Rachel: Alright, it's okay. One little setback is okay, just don't let it happen again, alright? Now, since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But I'm just gonna take the Pashmina. (Ross hands it to her) And the uh, and the uh, pants... Y'know what, I'm just gonna take it all away, 'cause that way you'll just really learn the lesson. Okay?
Jill: (flirting) Were you this cute in high school?
Ross: Oh stop.
Jill: No you stop!
Ross: No, you stop!
Jill: (laughing girlishly) You stop!
Phoebe: (sits between them) Okay, why don't I sit here and you'll both stop it!
Monica: Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Let's do something crazy!
Chandler: I know, let's rest and drink lots of fluids.
Monica: (sick, but trying to act sexy) Okay, I'll rest. But y'know, if I'm going to bed, then you're coming with me.
Chandler: That would be impossible to resist if you weren't all drippy here...
Monica: (seductively) Are you saying that you don't wanna get... with... this...?
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think you should say that even when you're healthy.
Chandler: Don't take this personally, okay? It's just I can't have sex with a sick person.
Monica: I'm with you, Chandler! I mean, I can't have sex with a sick person either, that's disgusting. But I'm not sick. Let me prove it to you! (sits in Chandler's lap) We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: (gets up) See that's the thing, I would like to stay in the "pribe of libe!"
(Monica playfully claws the air and growls at him)
Chandler: (facetiously) Oh, okay... Now I'll do it.
Phoebe: I think there's something you should maybe know...
Rachel: Well, it better not be about the "apartment pants", because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren... and she loved it!
Phoebe: No, no... It's just... I was with Ross and Jill after you left, and um, I'm pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Phoebe: Yeah, I mean, it's probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.
Rachel: With Ross and Jill?
Rachel: With Ross and my sister?
Rachel: With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?
Rachel: Oh, there is no way!
Phoebe: Okay, then...
Rachel: (slowly losing control) Oh, my God, I cannot believe that! I mean I don't really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister?! Isn't that like incest or something? Oh, my God and they're gonna have sex! Oh, no... what if he marries her too?! Oh, this is just terrible, this is just terrible! And I can't stop it! I don't own Ross, you know, and Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do... and, oh my God, I can't believe Ross is marrying my little sister... this is just, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me!!
Phoebe: ...But, great news about the apartment pants, huh?
Rachel: Is there something wrong with Ross?
Jill: Oh, no, no, no, no. He's just, I don't know, he's just a little bookish.
Rachel: (offended) Are you saying he's a geek?
Jill: You think so too?
Rachel: No! No, Ross is not a geek.
Jill: Fine. Let's just say he's not my type.
Rachel: What, handsome is not your type? Smart, kind, good kisser? What, those things are not on your list? Ross is a great guy... you would be lucky to be with him!
Jill: Well, okay. If it means that much to you then I'll just ask him out.
Rachel: Oh, no, no, no. That's not what I meant.
Rachel: Yeah, but... you don't, you don't want to try too much too fast, y'know? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried too much too fast, don't you?
Rachel: She, she died, Jill.
Joey: (singing to a pretty girl customer) Happy birthday to you!
Gunther: You're paying for that.
Joey: What? No it's her birthday!
Gunther: You've sung Happy Birthday to twenty different women today!
Joey: But it really--
Gunther: You are no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins.
Ross: Did you tell your sister to ask me out?
Rachel: Well, yeah...
Ross: Oh, wow, I mean, wow! I think she's cute but I, I never would have thought of going out with her... never!
Rachel: (somewhat relieved) Really?
Ross: Yeah, but after you said it was okay I figured, why not?
Rachel: Oh so, so not really never.
Ross: I have to say, you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean, after all we've been through? Y'know, I wish I had a brother to reciprocate... Hey, if you ever wanna go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
Joey: (overhearing) ...And mine!
Jill: (about her outfit) So, whaddaya think?
Rachel: Well, I... I don't like it.
Rachel: It's kinda slutty.
Jill: It's yours.
Rachel: Yeah, well... I'm a slut.
Jill: (smiling) Me, too!
Rachel: (spying on Ross and her sister through the window) Oh my God, look, look he's taking off her clothes!
Chandler: He's taking off her coat!
Chandler: (about Ross closing the blinds) Hoo-hooo, he's gonna get some. (Rachel scowls at him) ...of the glare... from the streetlight... out of his apartment. Y'know, so, um... he's closed the drapes there, so he can have a nice... pleasant... conversation with your little sister. (sees that Rachel is still scowling) Well, I'm off to bed!
Chandler: I don't feel good.
Monica: You better not get me sick.
Chandler: I need some fruit or some juice or some... (opens fridge) Or some nothing. There's nothing in here. Who took our food?
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Rachel a její sestra (Rachel and Her Sister)
Jeffrey David Brooks, who played the Male Patron in this episode, also appeared in "The One with the Hypnosis Tape" where he played Trent and "The One with the Screamer" where he played the Stage Manager.
This is one of the few two-part episodes. These episodes were originally aired in their entirety, but written to be aired separately in syndication. These episodes are:
"The One with Two Parts (1)"
"The One with Two Parts (2)"
"The One After the Super Bowl (1)"
"The One After the Super Bowl (2)"
"The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break (1)"
"The One with the Morning After (2)"
"The One with Ross's Wedding (1)"
"The One with Ross's Wedding (2)"
"The One In Vegas (1)"
"The One In Vegas (2)"
"The One with Rachel's Sister (1)"
"The One Where Chandler Can't Cry (2)"
"The One That Could Have Been (1)"
"The One That Could Have Been (2)"
"The One with the Proposal (1)"
"The One with the Proposal (2)"
"The One with Chandler and Monica's Wedding (1)"
"The One with Chandler and Monica's Wedding (2)"
"The One Where Rachel Has a Baby (1)"
"The One Where Rachel Has a Baby (2)"
"The One in Barbados (1)"
"The One in Barbados (2)"
"The Last One (1)"
"The Last One (2)"
This episode runs 23:49 on DVD (a typical sitcom runs about 22:00). When the episode originally aired, there was no tag scene. But it's added back in on the DVD, so you can see that Monica's gotten Chandler sick, and Joey's stolen all of the food out of their refrigerator.
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