Season 9 Episode 7

The One with Ross's Inappropriate Song

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Nov 14, 2002 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Goof: When Ross and Rachel are talking at the beginning, she stands up and puts her hands on her hips. When the camera angle changes to Ross, her arms hang loose.

    • Trivia: The katana, a type of Japanese sword, which was beside Ross's apartment door in the previous episode has been replaced by masks.

    • Continuity: When Monica is saying that Chandler is jealous of Richard, she asks: "Is this because you can't grow a mustache?" But Chandler has been seen with a mustache in "The One Where Old Yeller Dies" and "The One with the Flashback".

    • Trivia: Joey says if a girl says yes to being taped, she doesn't say no to much else. But we know Monica has no objections to being taped. She mentioned once that she and Pete were going to watch a movie of themselves. Also back when she and Chandler were dating secretly, they had a video camera set up in the living room before they had to run and hide.

    • Trivia: The actor who plays Tom Engel, the male friend of Mike's parents, also played an extra in "The One Where Rachel Has a Baby (1)". If you look closely, you can see him walk past when Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Joey are in the hospital waiting room.

    • Goof: When Joey pulls Monica to the floor, you can see that she is wearing knee pads.

  • Quotes

    • Ross: (to Emma) And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. Yes we were! Yes we were!

    • Ross: (holding Emma) Oh, look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a little bitty baby, y'know that? ...but you've got, you've got big, beautiful eyes. Yes, you do! And a big, round belly, and a big baby butt! (thinking about it) I like big butts. (starts rapping) "I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny, when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get..." (Emma starts laughing) Oh my God, Emma, you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You've never done that before! Daddy made you laugh, huh? (checking himself) ...Well, Daddy and Sir Mix-a-Lot. What? What? You wanna hear some more? Um... "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!" (Emma starts laughing again but it suddenly occurs to Ross) I am a terrible father!

    • Joey: (to Monica and Chandler) Hey, hey listen... What do you guys know about investments?
      Chandler: How come?
      Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinkin'... I should probably do something with it.
      Monica: What do you do with your money now?
      Joey: Well, it's taped to the back of my toilet tank. (realizes he just gave away a big secret) I didn't say that! It's, it's in a bank guarded by robots!

    • Monica: (to Joey) You know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
      Chandler: Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!
      Monica: My dad told me... They play golf together.
      Chandler: Oh! Well, maybe I'll join them sometime. I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand and beat the mustache off his face!

    • Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight!
      Monica: Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step.
      Phoebe: (sarcastically) Really? That hadn't occurred to me.
      Monica: They're just gonna love you--just be yourself.
      Phoebe: They live on the upper East Side on Park Avenue.
      Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself.

    • Monica: You went out with Wallace Pincer?
      Rachel: Uh, he took the S-A-T's for me.
      Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400!
      Rachel: Yeah, well, duhhh!

    • Rachel: Take it from me. Moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I am like the daughter that she never had.
      Monica: She said what?!
      Phoebe: (louder, to Monica) That she's like the daughter she never had. Listen!

    • Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous. It's so sweet!
      Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today!
      Rachel: You what? And I missed it?! ...because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?!
      Ross: Yeah, and it was... it was like a real little person laugh, too. It was... it was like... (Ross tries to imitate Emma's laugh) Only... only not creepy.
      Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh?
      Ross: Well, I sang... well actually I rapped... "Baby Got Back"...
      Rachel: You what? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
      Ross: But y'know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy... body image... because... even big butts or... "juicy doubles"...
      Rachel: Ew!
      Ross: Please don't take her away from me!

    • Realtor: (showing Joey and Chandler Richard's apartment) I think you guys would be very happy here.
      Joey & Chandler: No, no, no, no...
      Chandler: No!! We're not together. We're not a couple, we're definitely not a couple.
      Realtor: Oh, okay. Sorry.
      Joey: Wow, you seem pretty insulted by that. What, I'm not good enough for you?
      Chandler: We are not gonna have this conversation again!

    • Joey: Ooh, a tape with a girl's name on it--probably a sex tape! (looking at the cassette) Wait a minute... this says "Monica"... (looking around) ...and this is Richard's apartment...
      Chandler: (exasperated) Get there faster!!

    • (Phoebe has playfully punched Mike's father in the stomach)
      : Did you just hit my dad?
      Phoebe: Yes... I'm sorry, I've never met a boyfriend's parents before.
      Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right?

    • Rachel: (after singing "Baby Got Back" to Emma who started laughing) Oh, Emma, you're laughing! Oh, you are, you really do like big butts, don't you? You beautiful little weirdo!

    • Ross: You sang "Baby Got Back," didn't you?
      Rachel: Nothing else worked! That girl is all about the ass!

    • Mike: (to his parents) Phoebe writes lots of great songs... (to Phoebe) What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
      Phoebe: Oh, "Pervert Parade"?
      Mike: No...
      Phoebe: Oh, "Ode To A Pubic Hair"?
      Mike: Stop!

    • Monica: (about the videotape he and Joey found in Richard's apartment) Why in the world would you take this tape? And, and why would you watch it?
      Chandler: Because that's who I am! Okay? ...I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him... it would be just another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and mustaches!
      Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a mustache?
      Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you--he keeps a tape so he can look at it whenever he wants!
      Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can't you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous, you should feel bad for him!
      Chandler: Oh, yeah, well... poor Richard, he, uh.... (it dawns on him what she said) I can grow a mustache!!

    • Chandler: (about the video) I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air.
      Monica: Cowboy boots? I have never worn cowboy boots in my whole life. (turns the tape back on)
      Chandler: Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I want to see how it ends!
      Monica: (looking closely at the video) That's not me!
      Chandler: What? (looking at the video) That's not you! Life is good again! Ride 'em, cowgirl!
      Monica: (incensed) That bastard taped over me!
      Chandler: (incredulous) Is that a problem...?
      Monica: Well, it's just so insulting... Spring for a new blank tape, doctor!

    • Mike: (to his parents) I mean, if you can't even be civil to the woman I love...
      Bitsy: The woman you what?
      Phoebe: (coming into the dining room) Yeah, the woman you what?

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Joey sits on the sofa with his left hand down his pants, pretending to hold a can of beer. This pose is most commonly associated with Al Bundy from the popular TV series Married... With Children. It's interesting to note that Matt LaBlanc, who plays Joey here, played recurring character Vinnie Verducci in that series.

    • Some of Richard's movie videos star Tom Selleck, the actor who plays Richard.