Joey and Rachel's first date goes well, until they return to their apartment and discover that the love-making part of their relationship is awkward. Monica and Phoebe try to avoid their annoying friend Amanda, who has returned from living in London with a fake British accent. Ross gets a spray-on tan, that does not go well.moreless
The Tanning Salon Guy
Special Guest Star
Trivia: There are a number of references to the fact that Rachel couldn't stop laughing when Ross first kissed her, but that isn't true. The reason she couldn't stop laughing was because Ross "had his hand on her ass". The "kissing" had been fine up to that point.
Goof: Ross was instructed that after his front was sprayed, he should count to five, pat himself down to avoid drips, then turn. By the time he reached "...three Mississippi", the spray started again. In other words, even if he hadn't counted using "Mississippi", he still wouldn't have had time to pat himself down and turn before the second spray.
Goof: When Monica was mocking Amanda, Chandler asked her if she was trying to do a British accent. In the next shot we see part of Chandler and his lips are moving, but there's no sound.
Trivia: Rachel and Joey keep talking about how Chandler and Monica were able to go from friends to a couple and wondering why it wasn't weird for them. Rachel has done this too, except with Ross and besides her initial laughing when Ross was first kissing her, it wasn't at all weird for her and Ross to go from being friends to something more.
Trivia: In this episode Rachel and Joey returned home from dinner both thinking the other had paid. Rachel and Chandler did the same thing in "The One With All the Cheesecakes."
Goof: After Rachel talks to Chandler and Monica, Joey comes in. Rachel tells Joey that there's no problem, and they can leave. When they leave, the door stays open. However, when the camera angle turns to Chandler and Monica two seconds later, the door being closed is clearly audible.
Note: The sound of the closing door comes from Joey's apartment, not Chandler and Monica's.
Goof: When Monica said that Rachel couldn't stop laughing the first time she kissed Ross, she was referring to "The One Where Ross and Rachel... You Know," however the first time Rachel and Ross kissed romantically was in "The One Where Ross Finds Out."
Magna Doodle: Emma (with a drawing of a teddy bear)
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?
Joey: ...It's okay!
Chandler: How can you be so confident?
Joey: Well, I know exactly what I'm gonna do.
Chandler: Really? ...Like you have a routine?
Joey: No, no, no, no. See... each woman is different. You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
Joey: No. I do six things...
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop staring at my wife's legs. No, no. Stop staring at your sister's legs!
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) How'd you get so tan?
Chandler: She went to one of those spray-on tan places...
Monica: (to Chandler, upset) That was supposed to be a secret!
Chandler: Did I say "spray-on tan places?" I meant "surf contest." ...which she won!
Ross: (to Monica) You got a spray on tan?!
Monica: Chandler gets pedicures!
Ross: (to Chandler) What? You do? ...Like with the toe separators?
Chandler: (to Monica) Why? ...Why?
Phoebe: Hi. Ugh... You won't believe who moved back to town...
Monica: I know, Amanda! She called me too. She's the worst!
Chandler: Who's Amanda?
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building, before you did. Then she moved to England and picked up this fake British accent. On the machine, this was her message: (putting on a British accent) Monica darling, it's Amanda calling...
Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?
Monica: (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Phoebe: (to Monica) You know what Amanda said when she got me on the phone? (with a cheesy English accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your mobile." ...Well if you didn't want to get me on my "mobile", then don't call me on my "mobile!"
Tanning Salon Guy: All right Mr. Geller. Right this way. So, how dark do you wanna be? We have one, two or three.
Ross: Well ... I like how you look, what are you?
Tanning Salon Guy: Puerto Rican.
Ross: Two, I think a two.
Ross: It sprayed me before I even got to "three-Mississippi!"
Tanning Salon Guy: "Mississippi?" I said count to five.
Rachel: Thanks for dinner!
Joey: I thought you paid! I guess we won't be going back there!
Monica: (the phone is ringing) No, no, don't get it. Let the machine pick up.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Could be Rachel asking if someone could babysit again.
Monica: It could be Amanda!
Phoebe: Oh, you're right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting's a gas!
Amanda: (on the answering machine) Hello, Monica. It's Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat!
Monica: (yelling at the phone) You're from Yonkers! Your last name is Buffamonteezi!
Amanda: Let's see... So, should you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Phoebe: Okay, don't hold thy breath!
Phoebe: You would not hold up well under torture.
Monica: And you would?
Phoebe: I did.
Rachel: (as Joey fumbles with her bra) ...Well, this is romantic.
Joey: I'm sorry, this has never happened to me before. I'm an expert at taking off bras. I can do it with one hand... I can do it with my eyes closed... One time I just looked at one and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Rachel: Do you think maybe, on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Joey: No, I don't have another level!
Chandler: (seeing Ross with an absurdly dark tan) Hold on... there´s something different.
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Chandler: Was that place... the sun?!
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy. You go into the booth and you count to five.
Ross: How do you count to five?
Monica: One, two, three...
Ross: Damn it!
Rachel: (about Ross's tan) What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic?
Chandler: How was your date with Joey?
Rachel: Well, it was okay until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg, and I kept slapping it away!
Chandler: You didn't like that?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us. I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great. But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Monica: Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing. You got through that.
Rachel: That's true. That's true, we can do this. You're right, you're right, we can do this. We're just gonna power through!
Monica: (Chandler is staring at Monica's bra) Chandler, stop! It's not going to pop open!
Chandler: You don't know!
Amanda: Oh, bugger. Should I not have said that? I feel like a perfect arse.
Phoebe: In America, you're just an ass.
Rachel: (lighting candles) Okay, sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. All right, let's do this!
Amanda: (to Chandler) That accident must have been horrible! You look positively ghastly!
Chandler: Well, aren't you a treat!
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why, Phoebe? Why?
Phoebe: It was right after we were living together, and you were driving me crazy. Okay, you were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.
Monica: I'm still all those things!
Ross: (after his third tanning session) I'm a twelve.
Chandler: (about Amanda) That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance...
Chandler: (knocking on Ross's door) Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in.
Ross: (hiding out because of his extremely dark spray-on tan) Go away! I don't want to see anybody.
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in!
Ross: Really? Did you count "Mississippi-ly?" (opens the door) You... you're not tanned...
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this. (snaps a picture and grins) I'll see you later!
International Episode Title:
France: Celui qui avait décidé de bronzer (The One Who Wanted To Get Tanned)
Lisa Kudrow also worked with Luis Antonio Ramos, who played the tanning salon guy,in the episode "Paul Is Dead" of the television series Mad About You, where Lisa plays Phoebe's identical twin sister, Ursula Buffay.
This episode runs 25:42 on DVD (a typical sitcom runs about 22:00).
Guest star Jennifer Coolidge would later appear on Joey as Bobbie, Joey's agent.
Chandler: (to Ross about his tan) You could do a duet of "Ebony and Ivory" all by yourself!
"Ebony and Ivory" was a 1982 number-one single by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder. The song used the ebony and ivory keys on the piano as a metaphor for racial harmony. Chandler was insinuating that Ross's half-tan made him both black and white.
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