Season 3 Episode 23

The One with Ross's Thing

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM May 01, 1997 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Goof: Although necessary for the storyline, it's hard to believe that a wealthy guy like Pete would ask his girlfriend to water his plants. He would obviously have staff for cleaning and for taking care of such simple, everyday chores.

    • Factual Error: The second doctor Ross sees invites two other people in to see Ross's "thing." However, a doctor must get a patient's consent to bring in other people, even if it is for a consult. This is a rule in the HIPPA guidelines to protect a patient's privacy.

    • Phoebe's Song:
      "Crazy Underwear" 
       Crazy underwear, creeping up my butt. 
       Crazy underwear, always in a rut.
       Crazy underwear....

    • Goof: When Ross goes to see Guru Saj, he has his 'thing' removed. However, it is obvious that Guru is not anywhere near the thing, because you can see that Ross' shirt is still tucked into his pants, and the Guru just rubs his hands along the shirt.

    • Trivia: The poster of the human body seen on the wall in Guru Saj's exam room is also seen in Phoebe's massage room in "The One with Frank Jr.".

    • Goof: When Pete and Monica are at his place, talking about his "proposal", Monica's shoulder wrap keeps shifting up and down her back from shot to shot.

  • Quotes

    • Joey: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
      Chandler: (after thinking about it) ...Or Dick.

    • Ross: Listen, I need a favor. Um, I was in the shower, and as I was... cleansing myself, I, uh, I... well I felt something.
      Chandler: Was it like a sneeze, only better?

    • Rachel: (to Phoebe's firefighter boyfriend) Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building before?
      Vince: Ninety-eight hot saves. Highest on the force.
      Chandler: Well, y'know, if Joey and I played with matches, we could get you up to an even hundred.

    • Rachel: Pheebs?! Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you.
      Phoebe: I know! I'm like playin' the field, y'know? Like, jugglin' two guys, sowin' my wild oats! ...I'm this kind of, like, oat-sowin', field-playin' juggler.
      Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
      Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads?

    • Ross: (about his thing) The worst thing is he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
      Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple...? He just lopped it right off.

    • Monica: Pete's breaking up with me.
      All: What?!
      Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk.
      Rachel: And...?
      Monica: Well, that's it. People never say "We need to talk" unless it's something bad.
      Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
      Monica: Really?
      Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.

    • Monica: I gotta go water Pete's plants. (thinking about it) Y'know what? If he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
      Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants... if you know what I mean.
      Joey: Or... (laughing mischievously) We could go over there and pee on them!

    • Joey: What happened to playing the field?
      Phoebe: Well, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field!

    • Phoebe: (in Pete's apartment) That is the nicest kitchen!
      Monica: Yeah, I know.
      Phoebe: No, but it's the nicest kitchen. The refrigerator told me to have a great day.

    • Chandler: (to Monica) This is Pete we're talking about, he's not like other people. On your first date, he took you to Rome! For most guys, that's like a second or third date kind of thing.

    • Monica: (about Pete being too impulsive in proposing to her) Well... If that's what it is, then... it's crazy!
      : Monica's right. We're talking about getting married, here, okay? She can't just rush into this...
      Rachel: Oh, what do you know... you married a lesbian!

    • Phoebe: I'm telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go see my herbal guy. (offers Ross her herbalist's card) 
      Ross: Thank you, but I want to remove it, Pheebs. I don't want to make it savory.
      Monica(to no one in particular) You know, when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it...
      Ross(grabbing the card from Phoebe) Gimme that!

    • Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! It's the most intense physical competition in the world--it's banned in forty-nine states!
      Monica: What are you talking about?
      Pete: Okay, my trainer, Hoshi, is teaching me a combination of Jeet Kune Do and Brazilian street-fighting... I've even had my own octagon training-ring designed.
      Monica: (realizing sadly) ...And I suppose you used a ring-designer for that.
      Pete: Yeah... Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. Whaddaya think?
      Monica: ...My parents will be so happy.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) I-KEA! This is comfortable.
      IKEA is a low-cost home products retailer that sells utilitarian design furniture, much of which is assembled by the consumer.