Friends Season 2 Episode 10

Russ: Hi.
Chandler: Oh, hey.
Phoebe: Hi.
Russ: I guess you guys heard, Rachel dumped me.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm sorry man.
Russ: Oh, all she said was that I remind her too much of somebody. You have any idea who she's talking about?
Phoebe: Oh I do, it's... it's Bob Saget. She hates him.

Russ: You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.
Ross: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.

Chandler: (Entering his apartment to find Joey making lots of food) Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Whoa, so I'm guessing you didn't get the part, or... uh, Italy called and said it was hungry.

Phoebe: Okay, so, you know what you're doing, right?
Rachel: Uh.... waitressing?
Phoebe: Well, yeah, but... no. I mean, um... doesn't Russ just remind you of someone?
Rachel: (Looks at Russ) Huh, Bob Saget?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!

Chandler: Guess who's back in show business?
Phoebe: Lorne Green?
Chandler: No, no Pheebs. You know why? 'Cause he's dead.
Phoebe: Oh, no.
Chandler: Okay, I guess this is gonna seem kind of bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.

Joey: (About Fun Bobby) Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
Monica: Well, we just happen to go to a lot of places where you might drink. I mean, how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or... or to a club, or to the... zoo.

Monica: (About Fun Bobby) So he drank a lot tonight.
Ross: Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a drink in his hand.
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with "I was so wasted" or "Oh, we were so bombed" or "So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut."

Joey: When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.

Monica: (Trying to cheer up Joey about getting bad reviews) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. (Reading) "In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani was able to achieve brilliant new levels of..." continued on page 153... "sucking."

Rachel: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Joey: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
Monica: You were so amazing as the king. I was really impressed, I was.
Phoebe: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, because when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your... royal subject.

Fun Bobby: I think you may have a drinking problem.
Monica: (Holding a bag of liquor) What these, oh, these are, um, for cuts and scrapes.

Chandler: Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Rachel: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
Chandler: Me.
Rachel: Why would I have to sleep with you?
Chandler: It's my game. You want the job or not?

Chandler: The way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. You know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.

Joey: Well, I guess I could sleep with her. I mean, how could I do that?
Chandler: Well, I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.

Ross: (About Russ) And it takes him like, I don't know, uh ... hello, like a week ... to get out a sentence.
Chandler: It's annoying, isn't it?
Ross: Uh, tch ... I know.

Phoebe: Russ is Ross. Russ, Ross...
Rachel: Steve, sleeve.
Phoebe: Okay, no one is named sleeve.

Monica: See now, they're as different as night and ... later that night.