Friends Season 2 Episode 6

Ross: I hope Ben has a little sister.
Monica: Yeah. I hope she can kick his ass.

Ross: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
Monica: No. But I remember people telling me about it.

Rachel: Well, people missed you in there. And in fact, there was actually a request for "Smelly Cat."
Phoebe: Really? From who?
Rachel: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.

Joey: Oh, oh wait. That one's definitely Ben. Remember, he had that cute little mole by his mouth.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Yeah.
Chandler: Hey, Ben, remember us? Okay, the mole came off.
Joey: Ah!

Rachel: Terry is a jerk, okay? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.

Phoebe: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.

Joey: Are you okay, Ross?
Ross: I don't know. What's in this pie?
Monica: Uh, I don't know. Butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi--
Ross: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
Monica: No I didn't, I said kiwi-lime. That's what makes it so special.
Ross: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.

Ross: Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
Chandler: You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.

Monica: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?
Chandler: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. (Awkward pause) Joey, she does not look fat.

Ross: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and squirt it into my mouth, you know, like a squirt gun.

Ross: (Mumbling due to swollen tongue) Thumrthel, thubrthel thbhrth!
Chandler: (To Joey) You understood that?
Joey: My uncle had a really big tongue.
Chandler: Is he the one with the really beautiful wife?

Ross: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I, I almost broke your hand.
Monica: That's ok. I'm sorry I poisoned you.

Chandler: (On pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes, I do realize that would be a very stupid character.
(Hands phone to Joey)
Joey: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. (Hands the phone back to Chandler) He wants to talk to you again.

Monica: Is your tongue swelling up?
Ross: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.

Terry: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's ... it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye, into my brain, and swirl it around!
Rachel: Okay ... so you're not a fan ...

Joey: (About flipping the coin) All right ... ducks are heads, because ducks ... have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?