Season 9 Episode 16

The One with the Boob Job

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Feb 20, 2003 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Rachel: (yelling and scaring Joey who's shaving) She's crawling! Emma's crawling!
      Joey: He's bleeding! Joey's bleeding!

    • Joey: (to Chandler, who has shaving foam on his face) Shaving?
      Chandler: (deadpan) No... rabies.

    • Chandler: Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.
      Monica: Oh, but you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you loved was, y'know... finding gold.

    • Monica: Wow! I had no idea you had this much pride.
      Chandler: That's right! I do! I'm your man... and I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard!

    • Monica: (to Joey) I need to borrow some money.
      Joey: I don't know Monica, y'know... lending friends money is always a mistake.
      Monica: But Chandler lent you money!
      Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.

    • Rachel: Emma started crawling and I realized that this place is very unsafe for a baby, so I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
      Joey: Ach, baby-proofing. Why is this such a big deal now? You know, when I was a kid it was like, "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!"
      Monica: Anyway... um, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?
      Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself.
      Joey: (laughs mockingly) You're gonna do it?
      Rachel: (accusingly) Yeah, why? You don't think a woman can do this?
      Joey: Oh, women can... you can't!
      Rachel: Monica, would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?
      Monica: (to Joey) You're a pig. (turning to Rachel) ...and you can't do this.
      Rachel: What? C'mon! I found the hardware store all by myself!
      Joey: The hardware store is right down the street.
      Rachel: There is a hardware store right down the street?

    • Chandler: You can't tell Monica anything about it.
      Joey: I thought you didn't have any secrets from Monica.
      Chandler: And that will remain the official party line.

    • Mike: Phoebe, I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
      Phoebe: Oh. Wow.
      Mike: It's just my first marriage was, you know, such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
      Phoebe: Was it really that bad?
      Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated--
      Phoebe: Okay, well, that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet... except for once in the ocean.

    • Monica: (to Chandler) You're being weird. Do you want sex, or did you do something bad?

    • Ross: Marriage stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get 'em married.
      Phoebe: That's not how you really feel, is it?
      Ross: No, I'm sorry. Look, I know it's not what you wanna hear right now, but I can't help it. I, I love marriage.
      Phoebe: Seriously? You, "Divorce-o?"
      Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross... The Divorcer." It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriages didn't exactly work out, but, y'know... I loved being that committed to another person. And Carol and I had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward.

    • Rachel: Joey, why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
      Joey: Because she is.
      Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
      Joey: For your boob job!
      Rachel, Monica, & Chandler: It's over, Joe!
      Joey: Okay, so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are gettin' any bigger?

    • Chandler: (while continuing to hold a very heavy couch) And... hernia.

    • Rachel: (about breaking up with Mike) I'm so sorry, Pheebs.
      Monica: We're all sorry.
      (Group hug)
      Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side. I mean, you won't have to live with this ugly chair!
      (There's an awkward silence)
      Chandler: That was here already, huh?

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Chandler: (to Monica) I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
      Enron was an energy trading company based in Houston, Texas which went bankrupt in 2001. Enron has become a symbol of institutionalized and well-planned corporate fraud.