Mike: Phoebe, I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
Phoebe: Oh. Wow.
Mike: It's just my first marriage was, you know, such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
Phoebe: Was it really that bad?
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated--
Phoebe: Okay, well, that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet... except for once in the ocean.