Season 2 Episode 2

The One with the Breast Milk

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Sep 28, 1995 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Julie: Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?
      Rachel: Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.
      Julie: I'd love it too. Shoot, I gotta go. So, I'll talk to you later.
      Rachel: All right, Julie. (Julie leaves) What a manipulative bitch.

    • Monica: Rachel, say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?
      Rachel: Yes.
      Monica: It's that terrible?
      Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually, but now she's actually stealing you.
      Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, you're my... We're, we're... Oh, I love you.
      Rachel: I love you too.
      (They hug)
      Phoebe: You guys, um, I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but, um, I love you guys too! (Phoebe gets in the hug) Oh, I really needed that.

    • Carol: Okay, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
      Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, okay? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
      Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (To Ross) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.

    • Joey: Hey, how ya doin'?
      Todd: Morning.
      Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
      Todd: Your territory, huh?
      Joey: Yeah. (To a customer) Bijan for men?
      Customer: No thanks.
      Todd: Hombre?
      Customer: Yeah. All right.
      Todd: You were saying?

    • Joey: (About the new guy at work) These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all... stop lasting.

    • Joey: (About breast milk) Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sort of like, uh...
      Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
      Joey: Exactly.
      Ross: You've tasted it? You've tasted it.
      Susan: Uh huh.
      Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
      Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.

    • Rachel: Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?
      Monica: Judy.
      Rachel: Who?
      Monica: Julie.
      Rachel: (Shocked) What?
      Monica: Jody.

    • Monica: (Answering the phone) Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju-- Hi, Jew! Uh huh? Uh huh? Okay. Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye.
      Rachel: Did you just say "Hi, Jew?"
      Monica: Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it, reaffirms his faith.

    • Monica: (Trying to hide her day with Julie from Rachel) Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.
      Phoebe: What?
      Monica: We were shopping, and we had lunch.
      Phoebe: Oh, all right. What did I have?
      Monica: You had a salad.
      Phoebe: Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.

    • Joey: Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
      Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
      Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they want to put more people on it. You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through like two bottles a day now.
      Chandler: What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
      Joey: I know, but I was the best. You know? I liked being the best. Maybe I should just get out of the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
      Chandler: Alright. Say you do that. Sooner or later, somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. Then where you gonna run?
      Joey Yeah, guess you're right.
      Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie!
      Joey: I'm gonna do it!
      Chandler: All right! Now, go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.

    • Rachel: What did you buy?
      Phoebe: Um, we went shopping for um.... for um... for fur.
      Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
      Phoebe: Yeah. And then I realized that I'm against that. So then we bought some um... (Monica points to her chest)....boobs.
      Rachel: You bought boobs?

    • Julie: You're losing your apron. Here let me get it. (She fixes Rachel's apron) There you go.
      Rachel: Thank you. (After Julie leaves) What a bitch!

    • Monica: I don't know what else to say.
      Rachel: Oh, well that works out good cause I'm not listening.
      Monica: I feel terrible. I really do.
      Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?

    • Phoebe: (About the breast milk) You won't even taste it?
      Ross: No.
      Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk.
      Ross: Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.

    • Chandler: Carol, I was just wondering if... Joey could ask you questions about breastfeeding?
      Carol: Sure.
      Joey: Uh, does it hurt?
      Carol: Well, it did at first but not anymore.
      Joey: Oh. Chandler?
      Chandler: So uh, how often can you do it?
      Carol: As much as he needs.
      Joey: Oh okay, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?

    • Chandler: Come on, you're going to Bloomingdales with Julie. That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
      Monica: But I'm--
      Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
      (Julie leaves; Ross joins the gang)
      Ross: So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?
      Monica: Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.
      Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
      Monica: You're welcome.
      Phoebe: (Barking) Woof, woof.

    • Carol: You think my breast milk's gross?
      Susan: Oh, this should be fun.
      Ross: No no, Carol... it's just that I don't think breast milk is for adults.
      Chandler: Although, the packaging does appeal to adults and kids alike.

    • Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? This is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
      Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby sucking on it.

    • Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were... shopping.
      Rachel: Oh. Oh, my God.
      Monica: Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.
      Rachel: Yeah, right. Sure!
      Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
      Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught.
      Monica: That is not true!
      Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
      Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?

    • Ross: It's breast milk.
      Phoebe: So?
      Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice squeezed from a person!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Phoebe: (To Ben about his new shoes) Just do it.

      "Just do it" is the famous Nike tagline introduced in 1988.