Season 2 Episode 2

The One with the Breast Milk

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Sep 28, 1995 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? This is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
      Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby sucking on it.

    • Chandler: Carol, I was just wondering if... Joey could ask you a question about breastfeeding?
      Carol: Sure.
      Joey: Uh... does it hurt?
      Carol: Well, it did at first, but not anymore.
      Joey: (nods understanding) ...Chandler?
      Chandler: So, uh... how often can you do it?
      Carol: As much as he needs.
      Joey: Oh, okay... I got one, I got one. Uh... if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?

    • Julie: You're losing your apron. Here let me get it. (she fixes Rachel's apron) There you go.
      Rachel: (pleasantly) Thank-you. (after Julie leaves) What a bitch!

    • Chandler: C'mon, you're going to Bloomingdales with Julie! That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship!
      Monica: But I'm--
      Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
      Ross: (just joining them) So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?
      Monica: Yeah, uh... it's actually not that big a deal.
      Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
      Monica: You're welcome.
      Phoebe: Woof, woof! (makes sound of dog being hit by a car)

    • Joey: Hey, how ya doin'?
      Hombre Guy: (tipping his cowboy hat) Mornin'.
      Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from "Young Men's" to the escalator is my territory.
      Hombre Guy: Your territory, huh?
      Joey: Yeah... (to a customer) Bijan for Men?
      Customer: No, thanks.
      Hombre Guy: Hombre?
      Customer: (after hesitating a moment) Yeah, alright...
      Hombre Guy(spritzes the customer then spins the Hombre bottle back into his holster) You were saying?

    • Monica: (trying to hide her day with Julie from Rachel) Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.
      Phoebe: What?
      Monica: We were shopping, and we had lunch.
      Phoebe: Oh, alright. What did I have?
      Monica: You had a salad.
      Phoebe: Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.

    • Rachel: (after being told Phoebe went shopping with Monica) What did you buy?
      Phoebe: Um, we went shopping fer um.... fer um... fer fur.
      Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
      Phoebe: Yeah... and then I realized that I'm against that... so then we bought some, um...
      (Monica points emphatically at her chest)
      Phoebe: ...boobs.
      Rachel: You bought boobs?

    • Carol: (describing Ben's toys) ...okay, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep...
      Ross: Carol... we've been through this before, okay? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like... we're father and son.
      Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (To Ross) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.

    • Monica: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju-- Hi, Jew! Uh-huh? Uh-huh? Okay. Um, sure... that'd be great. See ya then. Bye.
      Rachel: Did you just say "Hi, Jew?"
      Monica: Yes. Uh, yes, I did... That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. He's going through this whole religious thing. Yeah, he likes it... reaffirms his faith.

    • Ross: (after being grossed-out when Phoebe tastes it) It's breast milk!
      Phoebe: So?
      Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice squeezed from a person!

    • Phoebe: (about the breast milk) You won't even taste it?
      Ross: No.
      Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?
      Ross: Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.

    • Rachel: Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?
      Monica: Judy.
      Rachel: Who?
      Monica: Julie.
      Rachel: (shocked) What?
      Monica: Jody.

    • (Rachel has found a lunch receipt in the pocket of a coat she loaned Monica)
      Monica: (about her lunch with Julie) Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were... shopping.
      Rachel: Oh... Oh, my God!
      Monica: Honey, wait... We only did it once... It didn't mean anything to me.
      Rachel: Yeah, right. Sure!
      Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time... Look, I'm sorry, alright? I never meant for you to find out!
      Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught.
      Monica: That is not true!
      Rachel: (about the receipt in her coat) Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
      Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?

    • Carol: You think my breast milk's gross?
      Susan: Oh, this should be fun.
      Ross: No-no, Carol... it's just that I don't think breast milk... is for adults.
      Chandler: Although, the packaging does appeal to adults and kids alike.

    • Joey: (about breast milk) Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sort of like, uh...
      Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
      Joey: Exactly.
      Ross: (to Susan) You've tasted it? You've tasted it.
      Susan: Uh huh.
      Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
      Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.

    • Joey: (coming home dressed like a cowboy) Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
      Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
      Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they want to put more people on it. You should see this guy, Chandler... he goes through, like, two bottles a day now!
      Chandler: (pouring Joey some juice and sliding it over to him like a western bartender) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
      Joey: I know, but I was the best, y'now? I liked being the best. Maybe I should just get out of the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
      Chandler: Alright, say you do that... sooner or later, somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. Then where you gonna run?
      Joey Yeah, I guess you're right.
      Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie!
      Joey: I'm gonna do it!
      Chandler: (polishing Joey's juice glass) Alright! Now, go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.

    • Monica: I don't know what else to say.
      Rachel: Oh, well, that works out good cause I'm not listening.
      Monica: I feel terrible... I really do.
      Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?

    • Monica: (about Julie) Rachel, say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together... is that so terrible?
      Rachel: Yes.
      Monica: It's that terrible?
      Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now... she's actually... (bursts into tears) ...but now, she's actually stealing you!
      Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, you're my... We're, we're... (bursting into tears) Oh, I love you!
      Rachel: I love you too... (they hug)
      Phoebe: You guys, um, I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me? ...but, um, (joining in the hug) ...I love you guys too!! (then after they separate) Oh... I really needed that.

    • Joey: (to Annabel about the Hombre Guy being fired) These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all... stop lastin'.

    • Julie: Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?
      Rachel: Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.
      Julie: I'd love it, too. Shoot, I gotta go. So, I'll talk to you later.
      Rachel: Alright, Julie... (after Julie leaves) What a manipulative bitch.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Chandler: (after serving "cowboy" Joey juice like a western bartender) Now, go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.
      This alludes to the long-running TV series, Gunsmoke. Miss Kitty, played by Amanda Blake, although never stated, was understood to be a madam.

    • Joey's competition, "The Hombre Man" is styled after Clint Eastwood in his early spaghetti westerns. Annabel says that "nobody knows his name". In those early westerns, Clint's character was known as "The Man With No Name".

    • Phoebe: (to Ben about his new shoes) Just do it!
      "Just do it" is the iconic Nike slogan introduced in 1988.

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