Season 2 Episode 2

The One with the Breast Milk

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Sep 28, 1995 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Julie: Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?
      Rachel: Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.
      Julie: I'd love it too. Shoot, I gotta go. So, I'll talk to you later.
      Rachel: All right, Julie. (Julie leaves) What a manipulative bitch.

    • Monica: Rachel, say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?
      Rachel: Yes.
      Monica: It's that terrible?
      Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually, but now she's actually stealing you.
      Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, you're my... We're, we're... Oh, I love you.
      Rachel: I love you too.
      (They hug)
      Phoebe: You guys, um, I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but, um, I love you guys too! (Phoebe gets in the hug) Oh, I really needed that.

    • Carol: Okay, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
      Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, okay? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
      Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (To Ross) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.

    • Joey: Hey, how ya doin'?
      Todd: Morning.
      Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
      Todd: Your territory, huh?
      Joey: Yeah. (To a customer) Bijan for men?
      Customer: No thanks.
      Todd: Hombre?
      Customer: Yeah. All right.
      Todd: You were saying?

    • Joey: (About the new guy at work) These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all... stop lasting.

    • Joey: (About breast milk) Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sort of like, uh...
      Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
      Joey: Exactly.
      Ross: You've tasted it? You've tasted it.
      Susan: Uh huh.
      Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
      Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.

    • Rachel: Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?
      Monica: Judy.
      Rachel: Who?
      Monica: Julie.
      Rachel: (Shocked) What?
      Monica: Jody.

    • Monica: (Answering the phone) Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju-- Hi, Jew! Uh huh? Uh huh? Okay. Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye.
      Rachel: Did you just say "Hi, Jew?"
      Monica: Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it, reaffirms his faith.

    • Monica: (Trying to hide her day with Julie from Rachel) Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.
      Phoebe: What?
      Monica: We were shopping, and we had lunch.
      Phoebe: Oh, all right. What did I have?
      Monica: You had a salad.
      Phoebe: Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.

    • Joey: Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
      Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
      Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they want to put more people on it. You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through like two bottles a day now.
      Chandler: What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
      Joey: I know, but I was the best. You know? I liked being the best. Maybe I should just get out of the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
      Chandler: Alright. Say you do that. Sooner or later, somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. Then where you gonna run?
      Joey Yeah, guess you're right.
      Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie!
      Joey: I'm gonna do it!
      Chandler: All right! Now, go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.

    • Rachel: What did you buy?
      Phoebe: Um, we went shopping for um.... for um... for fur.
      Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
      Phoebe: Yeah. And then I realized that I'm against that. So then we bought some um... (Monica points to her chest)....boobs.
      Rachel: You bought boobs?

    • Julie: You're losing your apron. Here let me get it. (She fixes Rachel's apron) There you go.
      Rachel: Thank you. (After Julie leaves) What a bitch!

    • Monica: I don't know what else to say.
      Rachel: Oh, well that works out good cause I'm not listening.
      Monica: I feel terrible. I really do.
      Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?

    • Phoebe: (About the breast milk) You won't even taste it?
      Ross: No.
      Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk.
      Ross: Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.

    • Chandler: Carol, I was just wondering if... Joey could ask you questions about breastfeeding?
      Carol: Sure.
      Joey: Uh, does it hurt?
      Carol: Well, it did at first but not anymore.
      Joey: Oh. Chandler?
      Chandler: So uh, how often can you do it?
      Carol: As much as he needs.
      Joey: Oh okay, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?

    • Chandler: Come on, you're going to Bloomingdales with Julie. That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
      Monica: But I'm--
      Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
      (Julie leaves; Ross joins the gang)
      Ross: So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?
      Monica: Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.
      Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
      Monica: You're welcome.
      Phoebe: (Barking) Woof, woof.

    • Carol: You think my breast milk's gross?
      Susan: Oh, this should be fun.
      Ross: No no, Carol... it's just that I don't think breast milk is for adults.
      Chandler: Although, the packaging does appeal to adults and kids alike.

    • Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? This is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
      Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby sucking on it.

    • Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were... shopping.
      Rachel: Oh. Oh, my God.
      Monica: Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.
      Rachel: Yeah, right. Sure!
      Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
      Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught.
      Monica: That is not true!
      Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
      Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?

    • Ross: It's breast milk.
      Phoebe: So?
      Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice squeezed from a person!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Chandler: (after serving "cowboy" Joey juice like a western bartender) Now, go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.

      This alludes to the long-running TV series, Gunsmoke. Miss Kitty, played by Amanda Blake, although never stated, was understood to be a madam.

    • Joey's competition, "The Hombre man" is styled after Clint Eastwood in his early spaghetti westerns. Annabel says that "nobody knows his name". In those early westerns, Clint's character was known as "The Man With No Name".

    • Phoebe: (To Ben about his new shoes) Just do it.

      "Just do it" is the famous Nike tagline introduced in 1988.