At Central Perk, Ross sees a beautiful woman, Kristen, at the counter.
Joey & Chandler encourage him on to go talk to her. Kristen lives in the same building as Ross, the only exchange they had was when she lent him an egg. Joey & Chandler order an egg to give to Ross so he can give back what he borrowed. Ross takes the egg and walks over to Kristen.
Meanwhile the gang congregate around the couch, talking about their plans for Valentine's Day. Monica & Rachel tell Phoebe she can not cave in & let Roger, the creepy psychiatrist, take her out just because it's Valentineï¿½s.
Joey & Chandler are double-dating tonight, and how well it goes means whether or not they will have a date on Valentine's. The only way Joey can go out with Lorraine is if he brings a "friend for her friend" which makes Chandler uneasy. Ross comes over to tell the guys Kristen said yes.
At the restaurant, Joey & Chandler wait for their dates to show. Joey checks himself via the reflection on his knife. Lorraine shows up, telling Chandler her friend is checking their coats. She then tells Joey she has to wash her hands and can he order "a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice."
Chandler is frightened. Joey looks to Chandler and shakes his head as if saying "Not that Janice". But it is.
In the men's room at the restaurant, Chandler & Joey are at the urinal, Chandler wants to leave as Joey begs him to stay so he can date Lorraine.
The girls are at Monica & Rachel's, comparing their bad ex's while drinking beer. Phoebe tells the girls that tomorrow night, Valentine's Day, they should do a "cleansing ritual" where they burn the stuff guys gave them.
Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, & Janice are seated. While Joey & Lorraine sit very close, Chandler & Janice have backed their chairs away from each other.
Lorraine whispers into Joey's ear, causing Joey to tell her he can't. Chandler, disgusted, asks what is going on, causing Joey to pull him to the side for a moment.
They leave the table & Joey tells Chandler that Lorraine wants to leave with him "to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off." Chandler feels betrayed & Joey leaves with his date, but leaves Chandler his credit card.
Chandler sits back down with Janice, the two of them alone. The two begin berating their friends who left. They order 2 bottles of expensive champagne with Joeyï¿½s credit card.
At Chandler's bedroom, he wakes up to find someone else's hand on his chest. He's shocked to see Janice there. She tells him, "Happy Valentine's Day."
In the hall, Chandler fervently tries to get rid of Janice. He is repulsed. She kisses him as Monica comes out for the newspaper. Monica calls Rachel to see Chandler & Janice, further humiliating him.
Joey enters from the stairs and sees Janice & Chandler and is shocked.
Chandler is agitated while Janice is delighted. Monica comes back out with her cordless phone. She put Ross on the phone with Janice. Now everyone knows Janice slept with Chandler.
At a Chinese restaurant, Ross is with Kristin. He makes a terrible joke and laughs at it before making a "why did I do that?" face. His ex-wife, Carol & her girlfriend Susan enter. He stares & Kristen notices. He fills her in.
In Monica's apartment, the girls are holding their anti-Valentine's boyfriend bonfire. It's all ready except for one thing, "the semen of a righteous man," according to Phoebe. Rachel tells her if they had that, they wouldn't be here.
The girls begin tossing things into the fire. Rachel tosses the remains of Paulo's grappa into the fire. A burst of flames shoot up.
Chandler & Joey are at Central Perk. He is preparing to dump Janice, again, on Valentine's Day. Joey tells him so what, he dumped her last time on New Year's.
Janice enters. She happily greets Joey, calling him "our little matchmaker" before kissing him all over. Joey grimaces as Chandler smiles.
Back at the Chinese restaurant, Ross & Kristin are talking, but Ross is paying more attention to Carol & Susan. Susan has to leave, and he asks her if it would be okay to invite Carol over. He brings Carol over and introduces her to Kristin.
3 Firemen are over at Monica & Rachel's to handle the wild bonfire. They tell the girls that this isn't their first Valentineï¿½s Day bonfire; they have had 3 calls so far.
At Central Perk, Janice gives Chandler a box of candy hearts that read "Chan & Jan Forever." Chandler tells Janice that it's not working out. Janice goes along with it, telling him, "This isn't the end," because he said the same thing last time. She tells him he loves her, which he vehemently denies. She passionately kisses him before leaving.
Ross & Carol are busy talking at the restaurant about whether or not she called his mum a "wolverine." He finally notices Kristin's absence & Carol tells him that she isn't in the bathroom, she left. Ross is upset, the first date he had in 9 years and it's ruined.
Carol cheers him up, telling him the dates will get better as he gets used to the routine. He takes this time to ask her if they want to try and "give it another shot" and he tells her he loves her. They kiss. She tells him she loves him too but sheï¿½s a lesbian.
The girls are talking to the firemen, making plans for a date after the firemen leave their shifts. They will bring the truck and let Rachel ring the bell. All 3 girls are excited but they know the firemen are not coming back.
Out in the hallway, the firemen are talking to each other. They are not single, they just pretended to be, they are horrible guys as well.