The Smoking Woman
Trivia: This episode marks the second time in the series where a reference is made to Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech. In "The One With the Stoned Guy", Chandler complains that he doesn't have any goals or dreams, to which Ross replies, "Ah, the lesser-known 'I don't have a dream' speech".
Magna Doodle: Joey your agent called
Magna Doodle: A drawing of a target
Chandler (doing a crosswrord): Hey, do you know a six letter word for red?
Joey: Dark red.
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong but there's a connect the dots in here for you later.
Joey (about Chandler & Monica): Aw, you guys are so cute.
Monica: I know!
Phoebe: I don't think it's very nice of you to park here. You know you're blocking the entrance.
Gary: Don't worry about it. It's not a problem.
Phoebe: Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you, 'cause (flashes badge) I'm a cop.
Gary: (slaps a flashing-light onto the roof of his car) So am I.
Phoebe: Oh no.
Joey: I kinda had a dream, but I don't want to talk about it.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What if Martin Luther King had said that? "I kind of have a dream... I-I don't want to talk about it."
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I'm seeing? Oh, that is so cool. I can't tell you how many times I dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. Anyway, we're talking about your dream, (to Monica) I love you. (to Joey) Your dream?
Joey: Look, don't worry... there wasn't any sex in it or anything. I haven't dreamt about her like that since I found out about you two... ish.
Chandler (about Joey's dream): No, it could mean anything: Like how you're jealous that I've become the apartment stud.
Joey: That sounds like your dream, dude.
Monica: Why did you run?
Phoebe: I had to. You know, impersonating a cop is like a class E felony, that's two to four years minimum, and I am not going back to that hell hole.
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe are you going to go to jail?
Phoebe: Well, if I go, you're all going down with me. Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck, Chandler.
Chandler: Well, Monica and I were friends before we started dating so maybe that's it.
Joey: Friends first? That's interesting.
Monica: You become friends after?
Joey: Nope, never done that either.
Joey: I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler. Boy, they are really tight.
Rachel: I know.
Joey: That's not a bad situation they got going over there. I'm thinkin' of getting me one of those.
Rachel: What's up, Joe?
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great is because they were friends first, y'know? So I ask myself, who are my friends? You and Phoebe. And I saw you first, so.
Rachel: What are you sayin'?
Joey: I'm sayin' that maybe you and I crank it up a notch.
Rachel: You know, honey, as flattered as I am that you saw me first, uh, I- I just don't think we should be cranking anything up.
Rachel: You know, honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them. But I think the way you do it is, you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation then ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your exisiting friends.
Joey: But won't that take longer?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah. But once you find it, it's so worth the wait.
Joey: Yeah. I understand, I understand. Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first.
(Ross and Rachel pick up a couch to carry it home)
Salesman: You two are really going to enjoy that couch.
Ross: Oh, yeah, we're ah, yeah, we're not together.
Salesman: Oh, okay. Yeah, something didn't quite add up there.
Ross: What's that supposed to mean?
Rachel: (impatient) Ross??
Salesman: Well, you, her, I mean she's very... you know, and you're like... you know.
Ross: Not that it's any of your business but we did go out.
Salesman: You two?
Ross: Yeah. Rach'?
Rachel: Come on, I don't really wanna be doing this right now. I'm carrying a very heavy couch.
Ross: Then tell him quickly.
Rachel: Fine, we went out.
Ross: Not only did we go out, we did it... 298 times!
Rachel: Ross! Oh, my... Ach! You kept count?! You are such a loser!
Ross: (smugly) A loser you did it with 298 times!
Monica: Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first.
Joey: Hey, it's all your fault.
Rachel: What? Why?
Joey: Because you didn't give me advice. No, you gave me a pick up line. As soon as I told her that I wanted to be friends, y'know build a foundation first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her. And her roommate.
Monica: What about the closeness?
Joey: Closeness, shmoseness. There were three of us for cryin' out loud!
Rachel: Don't you think you should maybe rethink the whole hiring movers thing?
Ross: No way! They're a rip off. And you know what else? They check out your stuff and come back later and steal it. It's true. I saw it on, uh, Dateline.
Rachel: Oh, I love Dateline. You know, Jane Pauley is the one woman that I would kiss. I don't know there's just something about--
Ross: Rach', can we concentrate?
Rachel: Yeah, fine. I listened to your dumb story.
Gary: Okay, so it's a date.
Phoebe: Yeah! I gotta ask you though. How did you know where to find me?
Gary: Well you're fingerprints were all over my badge, so I just ran it through the computer and this was listed as your last known address. So I just checked it out.
Phoebe: Oh, impressive.
Gary: Not as impressive as you. I gotta tell you, I looked at your record and you've done some pretty weird stuff.
Phoebe: ...Yeah, we'll talk at dinner.
Gary: Okay. So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?
Phoebe: All right, I can't wait!
Gary: Okay. And don't worry, I'm not just gonna take you out for donuts.
(Chandler busts out fake laughing and everyone looks at him.)
Chandler: (to Rachel) He has a gun!
Rachel: Hey, do you guys have a tape measure?
Chandler: Yeah, it's in my bedroom.
Monica: Oh, that's right!
Rachel: (about helping Ross move a couch upstairs) I brought reinforcements!
Ross: You brought Joey?
Rachel: Well, I brought the next best thing. (Chandler walks in)
Ross: Chandler? You brought Chandler? The next best thing would be Monica!
Chandler: Normally, I'd be offended, but she is freakishly strong.
Ross: Look, I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. Okay, Rach, that's you. That's the couch.
Rachel: Whoa, what's... what's that?
Ross: Oh, that's me.
Rachel: Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself.
Ross: No! That's... that's my arm.
Chandler: Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
Ross: Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Ross: This couch is cut in half. I would like to exchange it for one that isn't cut in half.
Saleswoman: You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?
Ross: Look, I'm a reasonable man. I will accept store credit.
Saleswoman: I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars.
Ross: I will take it.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Policejní odznak (Police Badge)
This is the first appearance of Michael Rapaport as Gary. Gary was in 4 episodes of Friends.
Lisa Kudrow and Michael Rapaport later costarred in Lucky Numbers, a 2000 comedy.
Nicole Robinson, who plays The Smoking Women, will later work with Matthew Perry when he guest stars on The West Wing in three episodes:
"Evidence of Things Not Seen"
"Life On Mars"
"Separation of Powers"
In "Friends: The Stuff You've Never Seen," David Schwimmer claims that the filming of the couch-in-the-stairwell scene is the hardest that he's ever laughed in his life.
This episode runs 24:36 on DVD (a typical sitcom runs about 22:00). There is an extra scene where Rachel pulls the fire alarm accidentally and people start evacuating, destroying Ross's new couch.
Gary: I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good.
Silver Spoons was a American TV show about rich kids, starring Rick Schroder. Gary was referring to when Schroder replaced Sipowicz's partner on NYPD Blue.
Joey: I kind of had a dream. But I don't wanna talk about it.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What if Martin Luther King had said that?
This is a reference to Martin Luther King, an African American civil rights activist who is perhaps most famous for his "I Have a Dream" speech, given in front of the Lincoln Memorial during the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.
Ross: I saw it on Dateline.
Rachel: Oh, I love Dateline. Ya know, Jane Pauley is the one woman I would kiss.
Dateline NBC is a primetime news broadcast on NBC. Jane Pauley, an American journalist, was an anchor on Dateline for 12 years.
Phoebe: Do you know Sipowicz?
This is an allusion to Andy Sipowicz, the most famous character of ABC's long-running police series NYPD Blue.
Monica: Are you saying I smell bad?
Joey: No, you smell like a meadow. (sees the others' reactions) I'm sorry. (leaves quickly)
Rachel: What's with him?
Chandler: The last time Joey went to a meadow his mother was shot by a hunter.
This is a reference to the Disney classic Bambi, in which Bambi's mother is shot and killed at the meadow.
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