It's 3 a.m., and Monica's sneaking into Chandler's apartment. Joey wakes up and comes out from his bedroom. He wants to know what time it is, and Chandler tells him it's 9 a.m. Joey wonders why it's still dark outside, and Monica tells him it's because he usually sleeps until noon. Joey goes to the bathroom to get washed up, and Monica and Chandler decide to go away to New Jersey for the weekend, so they can stop sneaking around for a little while. Joey, meanwhile, has fallen asleep on the toilet with his toothbrush in his mouth.
In Monica's apartment, Monica tells Joey and Phoebe about her plans to go to a culinary fair in Jersey for the weekend, her cover story for her weekend away with Chandler. Turns out Chandler has told them he has a conference in Jersey, and Monica thinks he should have made his conference in a different state to avoid suspicion. Ross enters, looking for Rachel. He has told Emily to come to New York, and he needs to talk to Rachel about it. The other four question how he's going to be able to cut Rachel out of his life, but he doesn't want to think about it. Rachel enters, and Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler escape to Monica's room, saying they are going to flip Monica's mattress. This plan backfires when Rachel asks if they can flip hers too.
In Monica's room, Joey finds a box he stashed under the bed when Ross said Rachel's name at the wedding, remembering the night they were stuck in Monica's room all night when Ross and Rachel broke up, and wanting to be prepared in case of a repeat incident. He's filled the box with candy bars, crossword puzzles, Mad Libs, and condoms. Meanwhile, out in the living room, Ross tries to tell Rachel about the promise he made to Emily, but she's just gotten a letter from her mom saying that her dog died, so Ross loses his nerve.
Later, Monica and Chandler are in their hotel room in New Jersey. Monica goes into the bathroom, and Chandler turns on the TV and gets involved in a high-speed police chase. Monica comes back in and tells him that they're switching rooms, because they were given glasses with lipstick on them. Meanwhile, at the coffeehouse, Ross tries again to tell Rachel he can't see her anymore, but this time her nose starts bleeding, due to the stress of her dog dying.
Monica and Chandler's weekend isn't going as planned, either. Monica doesn't like the next hotel room, either, because it has a garden view and they paid for an ocean view. Chandler just wants her to pick a room so he can watch the high-speed chase on TV. When she finally settles on a room she likes, the high-speed chase is over. Monica is upset that Chandler is more interested in watching the car chase than spending a romantic weekend with her, and the two argue. Meanwhile, Ross finally manages to tell Rachel what he promised Emily, and she's not too happy, either.
Chandler is back from his weekend away. Joey asks him how his trip was, and he tells him he fought with his colleagues the entire time, but that the weekend wasn't a total loss: he did see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator. Monica enters and calls Chandler outside. She wants to pay her half of the hotel bill. He tells her it's $300, $25 per room that she dragged him to. Joey comes out into the hall to see what the yelling is about, and Monica tells him that Chandler stole a $20 bill from her purse. Joey says that now that he thinks of it, he hardly ever has $20's, and Chandler always has lots.
Everyone but Rachel is in the coffeehouse, and Ross is lamenting his marital woes to the others. He leaves to go to the bathroom, and Rachel comes in. She doesn't want to talk about what happened with her and Ross, but Chandler tells her that Ross is in the bathroom. Rachel thinks she is going to get phased out of the group, like Chandler's old roommate Kip, who dated Monica and then got phased out of the group when he and Monica broke up. Rachel says it was only a matter of time before someone had to leave the group, she just assumed it would be Phoebe, because she lives far away and isn't related.
Later, Chandler enters his apartment, and Joey is there. Joey says that Chandler's hotel called to say that someone left an eyelash curler in his room. Chandler says that the eyelash curler is his. Joey says he figured Chandler hooked up with a girl and she left it there, and Chandler acknowledges that that would have been a better story. Joey doesn't like Chandler's suspicious behavior, and asks Chandler if he was on a gay cruise.
Back at the coffeehouse, Phoebe is upset about Rachel's comment that Phoebe would be first to leave the group. Rachel apologizes, and wants Phoebe to help her form a new group of Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey. Ross enters and wants to speak to Rachel alone, so Phoebe leaves. He says he talked to Monica, and since he's the one who's making things change, he should be the one to step back from the group. He asks if this makes things better, but Rachel says it's still not better, because she doesn't get to see Ross.
Chandler enters Monica's apartment to find her alone on the couch. He figures that their relationship is over, since they had a fight. Monica tells him that that's crazy, that if you give up every time you have a fight with someone, you'd never have a relationship that lasted more than a couple months. Suddenly, the reason Chandler's never really been in a long-term relationship is a little clearer. Monica and Chandler are happily reunited once again.
Later that day, everyone but Ross is in Monica's apartment. Phoebe says she heard Monica saw Donald Trump waiting for an elevator at her culinary fair, then Monica asks if she can borrow Rachel's eyelash curler because she lost hers. Joey puts two and two together, so Chandler and Monica drag him into Monica's room before he can spill the beans to Rachel and Phoebe. Chandler confirms that he and Monica are a couple, but they plead with Joey not to tell anyone, and he reluctantly agrees.