The episode starts off in Monica's apartment, where Rachel tells Monica and Phoebe that Ross kissed her. Phoebe asks how the kiss was, and then asks how Ross held her. Rachel tells them that Ross' hands started on her waist, and then slid up and then were in her hair. Monica and Phoebe are overwhelmed.
A new scene shows Joey, Chandler and Ross in Joey's apartment having pizza. The boys are also discussing the kiss and Joey asks if the kiss had tongue. Ross answers, "yes", and Joey says, "cool".
At Central Perk, Chandler shows off his new computer to Phoebe, Joey and Monica. Monica gets frustrated due to the lack of jobs in the paper.
Ross walks into Central Perk, and everyone asks about the kiss. Ross is troubled dur to the fact that he wants both Julie and Rachel. Just as he repeats the love triangle again and again, both Rachel and Julie show up. Ross commands Phoebe to play something to cover up the awkward situation. Phoebe sings a song about a "made up" love triangle" that makes Ross very uncomfortable.
Monica goes to a job interview, to be a chef, creating Thanksgiving theme recipes with a synthetic chocolate substitute called Mockolate. The Mockolate crumbles when eaten, bubbles and has an aftertaste Monica describes as a taste "that'll last 'til Christmas".
Monica makes a list of new Mockolate recipes which she discusses with Phoebe at her apartment. Rachel walks in and is unnerved by the fact that Ross might pick Julie instead of her.
In Joey's apartment, Ross can't decide which woman he wants to be with. Chandler suggests they make a list of pros and cons of the two girls.
Ross admits that Rachel is sometimes a bit spoilt, that she gets ditsy, that she's too into her looks and that she's just a waitress. Joey states her ankles are a bit chubby. They move on to Julie's cons and Ross says, "She's not Rachel".
Monica prepares pumpkin pie with a Mockolate cookie crumb crust, Mockolate cranberry cake and Mockolate chip cookies for Rachel and Phoebe to try. They hate the Mockolate.
Chandler complains to the computer company about his printer not being able to print the list of Rachel and Julie's cons. Ross walks in and tells Joey that he and Julie broke up. Rachel comes in and Joey tells her about Ross and Ross and Rachel hug.
Ross suggests the two of them go for a walk and he runs off to grab Rachel's coat. While Ross is gone, Rachel sees her name on the list on Chandler's computer. The printer starts printing and Ross comes back. Rachel asks Ross to back her up and ask for the piece of paper.
Ross says that Chandler was writing a short story. Chandler improvises a short story and Rachel doesn't buy it. Rachel snatches the piece of paper from the boys and becomes upset and locks her out of Monica's apartment.
Ross climbs up the fire escape and shouts her Rachel's pro list. As he reads the list, the rest of the gang walk in and hears everything. They let Ross in.
Ross knocks on Rachel's door and Rachel says she doesn't wanna hear whatever Ross has to say. Rachel tells him that she would never make a list and that's the difference between the two of them.
Monica brings some new recipes to her bosses' office. He gives her a cheque and tells her Mockolate's FDA approval didn't come through.
Back at Monica's apartment, Ross tells Monica to turn on the radio. Ross dedicates a song to Rachel, and hopes she can forgive him for what he did. Rachel calls the radio station and tells them what Ross did to her. The radio station doesn't want to play his song anymore.
The episode ends with Monica going back for another interview with the same company. The man introduces her to "Fish-tachios", pistachios made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Monica says she's allergic to cat hair and the guy apologizes and hides the "Fish-tachios".