Friends

Monica: (About a disheveled Rachel) Oh my gosh! Rachel, honey... Are you okay? Where Paolo? Rachel: Rome. Jerk missed his flight. Phoebe: And then... your face bloated?

Joey: Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late. (He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume) Chandler: Too many jokes... must mock Joey! Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle) Chandler: Ahh, you're killing me!

Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you. Phoebe: Yeah, you wish!

Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!

Joey: You seen Sandy? Chandler: I don't know how to tell you this but she's in Monica's bedroom getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Oh, look at that I did know how to tell you.

Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just going to be your last chance with me.

Phoebe: David's like, you know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical. Monica: I think it's romantic. Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman? Rachel: Yeah! Phoebe: Well, he's kind of like the guy I went to see that with.

Monica: Do you always have to bring him here? Ross: Look, I didn't wanna leave him alone. All right? We ... we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he threw some feces ... Chandler: You know, if you're gonna work late I could look in on him for you. Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not, like, doing it as a favor to me. Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.

Ross: Par-tay! (Ross enters Monica's party with Marcel on his shoulders) Monica: That thing is not coming in here. Ross: That thing? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home? Monica: I'm guessing your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table. Ross: Hey, he was more embarrassed by that than anybody. And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...

Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her annoying Janice laugh) Chandler: You remember Janice. Monica: Vividly.

Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much? Ross: Just a smidge.

Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman. Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.

Ross: It's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so... Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate? Ross: Nah, I dunno ... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathet- (Realizes) ... sorry, that's, that's "pathet", which is Sanskrit for "really cool way to live".

David: ...and then I said that while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in the classical sense, you are beautiful with a delicate grace. And that's when you started yelling.