Ross enters Monica & Rachel's place, telling the group he has someone he would like to introduce. Right after saying that, a howler monkey jumps onto his shoulder, it's Marcel; a monkey a friend rescued from a lab. Ross thought it would be great to have a pet to keep him company.
At Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. She tells her friends she has 12 new songs to sing, 11 are about her mom's suicide & 1 is about a snowman.
Joey enters Central Perk, frustrated. He didn't get the Santa Clause job this year like he did last year. Instead he will be one of Santa's helpers.
Rachel asks the gang about their plans for New Years & gets hit with cushions in response. They are jealous because she has Paulo while they're all single, but he will be in Rome for New Years. They make a pact: just the 6 of them having dinner for New Years.
Rachel goes up to the microphone & introduces Phoebe to the crowd. Phoebe takes the mike & says her first song reminds her of the Holiday season.
She shakes a bell before singing, "I made a man with eyes of coal & a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen?"
Time has passed, Phoebe is still singing. The crowd at Central Perk is depressed by her song. Over the sound of her singing, two scientists, Max & David, are talking. Phoebe stops her singing to ask the "noisy boys" if they want to share with the group.
Reluctantly, David tells Phoebe that he thought she was the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Max says Daryl Hannah is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, which caused David to agree because he liked in her Splash, but not Wall Street. David told his friend that Daryl was beautiful in conventional manners, but Phoebe is "luminous with a kind of a delicate grace." Phoebe, completely enthralled, tells the crowd she is taking a short break and makes a bee line to David.
Back at Monica & Rachel's, they are decorating for Christmas. Ross is busy trying to teach Marcel obedience but the monkey wanders off.
Rachel can't believe David hasn't kissed Phoebe yet. By her sixth date with Paulo, he had named both of her breasts; causing uncomfortable looks from the group. Monica thinks it's romantic that David is waiting & Phoebe agrees. She just wants to spend every moment with him.
Chandler's asks Phoebe if she is breaking their pact, she is. Chandler's relieved because he asked out ex-girlfriend Janice, upsetting Monica & Ross because he created the pact. Chandler tells the group he snapped under the pressure.
Joey enters, apologizing for being late. He jingles each time he walks because his shoes have bells. He takes off his long coat to reveal his elf costume.
Marcel knocks over kitchen implements, causing Monica to yell at Ross. She doesn't want him in her apartment, but Ross doesn't want to leave him alone. He confides to the gang that he and Marcel had their first fight earlier. He thinks it's about his long work schedule and he told Marcel "something that I didn't mean" which prompted Marcel to throw feces at him. Chandler offers to look in on Marcel when Ross works late, so the monkey won't feel lonely.
At Max & David's lab, David uses his white board to explain something to Phoebe. He is talking about particle accelerators. Phoebe has a question for him: will he ever kiss her? He gets flustered and begins to stammer. He writes a big yes on his board. He tells her wanted the kiss to be at the right moment, but the longer he waited, the more "phenomenal" it had to be, like sweeping everything off the table kind of kiss. And he isn't that kind of guy.
Phoebe, desperate for him to kiss her, does her best to encourage him to see the "sweeper" trapped inside of his physicist body. She tells him to just seize the moment & sweep the table and throw her on it. He gets ready to sweep the table, but picks up a laptop computer, telling her he didn't want to break it.
He then sees a microscope and realizes he can't afford to break that either. Phoebe calls his bluff and sees he is stalling for time. David seizes the moment and sweeps the remaining papers off the desk & grabs Phoebe. She hops onto the table and they have their first kiss.
The gang is at Central Perk with Ross discussing the "no date" policy to Monica. She asked out her ex-boyfriend, "Fun Bobby" because Chandler & Phoebe have dates.
Rachel brings Joey a cup of coffee, he complains the cup is too full, there's no room for milk. Rachel gives Joey a look before sipping his coffee, making room.
Ross buries his head in his hands when he finds out that both Joey & Rachel have a date for New Year's. He realizes he will be the only one alone when the ball drops and everyone has someone to kiss.
He is also stressed because Marcel is "shutting" him out. Chandler mentions when he visits Marcel, the two have a good time. He tells Ross that Marcel even juggles for him, causing Ross to look jealous and lonely.
Max, David's lab partner, runs into Central Perk and asks Phoebe if she has seen David. She hasn't. He tells Phoebe to tell David to pack his bags because the two of them got a grant to study for 3 years in Minsk. Phoebe is stunned and asks when they leave: January 1.
Phoebe goes over to David's lab and knocks on the door. Max & David are working. She tells David that Max told her about Minsk and pretends to be happy. Max informs her they are not going, Phoebe acts disappointed.
Max is angry at David because he would rather stay in NYC with Phoebe than go to Minsk. He storms out of the room. David is in a state of confusion; he doesn't know what to do and asks Phoebe to decide for him. She tells him to stay. He takes a moment to think before sweeping the stuff off the table, Phoebe hops on and they make-out.
At Monica & Rachel's, the party is in full swing. Janice and her annoying laugh are present. Someone knocks on the door, Monica gets it. It's Sandy, Joey's date. She enters with her two young kids, horrifying Joey. Ross enters with Marcel on his shoulder.
The door opens; Rachel is standing there with a muddy torn coat, messy hair, and bruised face. Everyone turns to her, wondering if she is okay. Rachel, angry, tells everyone that Paulo is in Rome, he missed his flight. When she was getting into a cab at the airport, another woman begins yelling at her for stealing her cab and begins to pummel her to the ground.
Time passes. Sandy and Joey are flirting with each other; he leans in to kiss her but realizes her kids are staring at them & stops. Ross watches Marcel play with Phoebe, jealous that his monkey gets along with everyone but him. Meanwhile, Chandler is irritated to the highest degree by Janice.
Another knock on the door, Monica looks through the peephole, its Fun Bobby. Monica opens the door, Bobby appears very depressed. He apologizes for being late, his grandfather died two hours ago & he couldn't get a flight out until tomorrow, so he showed up at the party instead. Time passes. Bobby is talking about his grandfather, leaving everyone near tears.
Chandler can't take another moment of Janice's talk about their "reunion" and tells her that just because he invited her to the party doesn't mean he wants to get back together. She is upset and runs off.
David is feeding Phoebe popcorn, Max walks up. He calls her Yoko before telling David that he decided to go to Minsk without him; he walks off.
Phoebe notices the look on David's face and leads him into a bedroom. She tells him to go to Minsk; he can't stay in NYC because of her. They say their good-byes and kiss one last time.
It's almost midnight, the kissing hour. Joey puts a blanket over Sandy's kids so he won't feel their stares when he kisses her. Joey asks where Sandy is, and Chandler tells him the bad news: she is "getting it on" with Max in Monica's bedroom.
When Midnight comes, everyone at the party, except the gang, cheers & kisses. Chandler is desperate to get his New Year's kiss, but none of the girls feel like it. So Joey steps in & kisses him while Ross takes a photo.