Season 9 Episode 3

The One with the Pediatrician

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Oct 10, 2002 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Goof: When Joey knocks over Chandler's suitcase as he is saying his goodbyes, the suitcase is clearly empty.

    • Goof: When Mike and Joey are waiting for Phoebe and Mary Ellen, a boom mic is visible.

    • Continuity: In the previous episode Ross broke his thumb. Yet there is no mention of this and he has no cast.

    • Goof: In the scene where Rachel is talking to Monica about a doctor for Emma, Rachel moves the hair out of her face. There is a brief shot of Monica, but when it goes back to Rachel her hair is perfect again.

    • Goof: When Mary Ellen is having a martini, we can see her eating both the olives in her drink but in the next shot her glass is shown again with the two olives still in it.

    • Trivia: It was stated in this episode that Ross had a recurring nightmare that Monica was going to eat him and that he had to go to therapy for it.

    • Factual Error: Ross says there is a page with a circus in Where's Waldo, but the girl is really looking at Waldo on the beach. Also, that Waldo book does not even have a circus themed page in it.

  • Quotes

    • Ross: You can't go... you're the glue that holds this group together.
      Chandler: (moved) Really?
      Ross: Not you... (points to Monica)

    • Rachel: Just to be sure, I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.
      (Joey chuckles)
      Rachel: Every time?
      Joey: (nodding) Uh-huh.

    • Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
      Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. (thinking about it) A person named "Wiener." God, that kills me!
      Phoebe: Look at you all grown up.

    • Ross: Was there anything wrong with Emma?
      Rachel: Yes, of course there was! Okay? I'm not insane!
      Ross: What was it?
      Rachel: (after some hesitation) Hiccups.

    • Ross: I gotta get up early, and I'm not feeling well.
      Rachel: Oh, my God... what do you have? Is it rubella? Because stay away from Emma, she has not had that shot!
      Ross: You know, it does feel rubella-like.

    • Rachel: (rasping into the phone in the middle of the night) Wiener! Wiener! Wiener!

    • Rachel: Oh, it's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are going to push their penis against your knee?
      Monica: Excuse Me?
      Chandler: I know what she's talking about.

    • Rachel: (about his pediatrician) I wonder why Ross said that he died?
      Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
      Chandler: He saw a therapist?
      Monica: He used to have this recurring nightmare... It really freaked him out.
      Rachel: Wow, what was it?
      Monica: That I was going to eat him.

    • Joey: Just follow my lead. All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
      Mike: I am Mike.
      Joey: Atta boy.

    • Chandler: I've got good news!
      Monica: You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?
      Chandler: Okay, I have news.

    • Chandler: (to Monica) Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me? When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at "Slim Pickin's"... (Monica's clearly not interested) "So Cheesy"?... (still not buying) "Whole Hog"? (he reviews their options) It's gonna be tough to keep kosher in Tulsa.

    • Phoebe: (to Mike) You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
      Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
      Mike: No, I didn't.
      Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again. Everything's great!
      Mary Ellen: (to Joey) Wait, is your mom okay?
      Joey: (exasperated) Please! ...we're trying to have a conversation!

    • Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
      Joey: I dunno--I just forgot... I'm so sorry.
      Mike: I'm sorry, too... and just to be clear, I didn't hit his mom with a car.

    • Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow. You've still got a lot of packing to do.
      Monica: You're right. (she pauses) Maybe I shouldn't go.
      Chandler: What?
      Monica: Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant... Javu. It's just a little outside of Tulsa.
      Chandler: How far outside?
      Monica: Manhattan.

    • Ross: Hey!
      Monica: How was the pediatrician?
      Rachel: Oh, I really liked him. (looks at Ross) Yeah, it was really, really, really good.
      Ross: You promised you wouldn't say anything.
      Rachel: I know. (can't hold it in) Ross still sees his pediatrician! (to Ross) I don't care!

    • Ross: He is a brilliant diagnostician.
      Chandler: Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer?

    • Phoebe: (about their blind date) Why did you go along with it?
      Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner... which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl... which I did.
      Phoebe: True.

    • Phoebe: Is anything you told me about yourself true?
      Mike: My name is Mike... and I do play piano.
      Phoebe: Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Prove it.
      Mike: There isn't a piano here.
      Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
      Mike: Okay... (gets up and dramatically mimes playing the piano)
      Phoebe: (impressed) You are really good!

    • Mike: Do you think that... maybe... sometime... I could, uh...
      Phoebe: It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out.
      Mike: Okay. Do you think, maybe, sometime I could take you out?
      Phoebe: Oh, you just caught me off guard! Um... Yes, that would be nice.
      Joey: (just arriving) Look at this! My two best friends!

    • (Ross has been hitting it off with a woman in the pediatrician's waiting room)
      : (interrupting him) Rossie? We're ready for you.
      Ross: (embarrassed, turns to a random little boy) Come on Ross, Jr., time to go in.
      Little Boy: Mommy! (runs to his mother)
      Little girl: Mommy, what's wrong with that man?
      Ross: (to the little girl) Hey, I helped you find Waldo!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Phoebe: I play a little guitar myself.
      Mike: Really? That's great, what kind of music do you play?
      Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff, you know, but right now I'm working on a couple of Iron Maiden covers.
      Iron Maiden, formed in Britain in 1975, is one of the biggest heavy metal bands of all time, selling over 80 million albums world wide. They are known for songs such as "The Number of The Beast," "Fear of The Dark," and "Run To The Hills."