Season 1 Episode 16

The One with Two Parts (1)

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Feb 23, 1995 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Continuity: Phoebe tells the gang that it was no big deal to her parents when she started walking soon after Ursula. However in "The One with Phoebe's Dad" she tells them that her father left not long after she was born, which means that he wouldn't have been there when she started to walk.

    • Goof: In this episode the Christmas lights are supposed to be hanging there ever since Christmas, but they are no where to be seen in the previous five episodes.

    • Goof: When Chandler is talking to Joey by the door, the cap on his water bottle changes from on to off between shots.

    • Goof: When Monica tried to fix the SAP thing on the TV, Phoebe tells her to turn it off. Monica never turns off the TV or even touches the remote, yet the volume of the TV is turned completely off.

  • Quotes

    • (Joey and Chandler have been waiting for a waitress to take their order)
      : (to Joey) This is unbelievable. It's been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, you'd be looking like a ham right about now.

    • Chandler: (thinking he's talking to Phoebe) Wait, wait! What are you doing here?
      Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, and then you said, "Excuse me? Hello, Miss?", so now I'm here.
      Joey: No, no how come you're working here?
      Ursula: Right, yeah, 'cause it's close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.

    • Ross: I don't know whether he's testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. He keeps erasing the messages on my machine--supposedly by accident.
      Rachel: Oh, yeah, I've done that.
      Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did and peed all over the crossword.
      Rachel: I've never done that.

    • Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesn't look exactly like her sister.
      Joey: I'm saying I see a difference.
      Chandler: They're twins!

    • Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
      Joey: Yeah...
      Chandler: Let's not do that anymore.

    • Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
      Phoebe: Ooh, oh fun. Okay. Liam Neeson.
      Joey: No.
      Phoebe: Morley Safer.
      Joey: No.
      Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
      Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.

    • Rachel: Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just don't get along?
      Phoebe: It's mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know. Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it, later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "Yeah, right, well what else is new?"

    • Ross: Oh, Pheebs, I'm sorry, I've got to go. I've got Lamaze class.
      Chandler: (being Chandler) Oh, and I've got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.

    • Ross: (introducing themselves in Lamaze class) I'm Ross Geller, and that's, that's my boy in there. And, uh, this is Carol Willick, and this is Susan Bunch. Susan is, um, Carol's... mmm... Who's next?
      Lamaze Instructor: I'm sorry, I didn't get that, Susan is...?
      Ross: Susan is Carol's, Carol's, Carol's, Carol's friend...
      Susan: Life partner.
      Ross: Like buddies.
      Susan: Like lovers.
      Ross: You know how close women can get.
      Carol: Susan and I live together.
      Ross: Although I was married to her.
      Susan: Carol, not me.
      Ross: Right.
      Carol: It's a little complicated.
      Ross: A little.
      Susan: But we're fine.
      Ross: Absolutely. (to another couple) So, twins! (laughs self-consciously) That's like two births... Ouch!

    • Chandler: (about dating a co-worker) It's not just that she's cute, okay? It's just that... She's really, really cute.
      Ross: It doesn't matter, you don't dip your pen in the company ink.

    • Chandler: So tell me something. Is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
      Monica: No, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's, (looking at Rachel) but obviously someone forgot.
      Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write, "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the refrigera--  (notices the note on the fridge door and points to it) How long has that been there?
      Monica: A really long time.

    • Chandler: Hey, where you been?
      Joey: I went back to Riff's. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.
      Chandler: Score.

    • Joey: Pheebs, you think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
      Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
      Joey: So that if we went out on a date, she'd be there.
      Phoebe: Well, I mean, I'm not my sister's, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, it's true, we were one egg, once, but, uh, you know, we've grown apart, so, um... I don't know... why not? Okay.

    • Susan: Why do I have to be the mommy?
      Ross: OK. I'm gonna play my sperm card one more time.

    • Mr. Douglas: We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the 70's.

    • Rachel: So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
      Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
      Rachel: Okay. Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn?
      Phoebe: Ooh! Bath salts would be nice.

    • Monica: I can't believe you. You still haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job yet?
      Chandler: Well, you still haven't taken down the Christmas lights.
      Monica: Congratulations, I think you've found the world's thinnest argument.
      Chandler: I'm just trying to find the right moment, you know?
      Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldn't be so hard, now that you're dating.

    • Mr. Heckles: You're doing it again.
      Monica: We're not doing anything. We're just sitting around talking, quietly.
      Mr. Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats can't sleep.
      Rachel: You don't even have cats.
      Mr. Heckles: I could have cats.

    • Carol: (to Ross about labor) Oh, what do you know?! No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?!"

    • Ross: I always knew I was having a baby. I just never realized the baby was having me.

  • Notes

  • Allusions