Rachel & Monica enter the ER after Rachel falls from the balcony while taking down the Christmas lights. They go over to the nurse and Monica explains what happened to Rachel. The nurse can't believe they still had their Christmas lights up. Rachel glares at the nurse who gives Monica a clipboard of forms. She asks Rachel who to put for emergency contact. Rachel says "you," which makes Monica happy. Monica asks about her insurance. Rachel doesn't have any, but she persuades Monica to let her switch identities with her so she can use her insurance coverage.
At Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross hang out. Joey reads the comics as Ross talks about his dream last night where he is playing football and uses his baby as the ball. Which proves to Ross that he is not ready for father-hood.
Joey asks the guys if either have ever been to the Rainbow Room, a very expensive restaurant that he is taking Ursula to for her birthday. Ross asks Joey what he is going to do about Phoebe's birthday. Joey didn't know it was on the same day. He sticks to his original plan, hoping Phoebe will understand that he won't be with her on her birthday.
Monica & Rachel wait for the doctor. When the doctor arrives, it is Noah Wyle & George Clooney. Dr. Rosen & Dr. Mitchell respectively. Dr. Mitchell looks over Rachel's forms. Rachel pretends to be Monica and Monica pretends to be Rachel. They smile at the handsome doctors.
At Monica & Rachel's, all are present except Joey. They are waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel & Monica tell Chandler about the hospital. She had a sprained ankle & the two doctors asked them out. Monica is worried that the doctors will find out they switched identities and charge the girls with insurance fraud.
Someone knocks on the door & someone turns off the music as the party hides, except for Monica & Rachel who answer the door. It's Ross. Everyone yells surprise, which startles him. He throws his arms up in defence, causing Phoebe's cake to drop to the floor. He's not happy.
They look at the cake, to make sure it is okay after the drop. It's not. It says "Happy Birthday Peehe". As the group looks at the cake, Phoebe quietly walks in and joins the group.
After a couple seconds, the group realises she is there and they yell, "Surprise". She is delighted as she hugs everyone in the room. She looks for Joey. Complete silence. Phoebe looks as though her birthday has been ruined because of her twin.
Ross is at a restaurant with his father, having lunch. He is asking his father if he ever freaked out about being a first-time dad. His father says no, too busy with work, which causes him to feel a little guilty about not spending enough time with his son.
Ross, not getting the response he needs, asks his dad when he first felt like a father. Mr Geller said the first time he held him in his arms, baby Ross grabbed a hold of his dad's finger and squeezed it tight. Ross is moved by the story.
At Monica & Rachel's, Monica returns from the intercom & turns off the TV. The doctors are coming up. Monica opens the doors to Dr. Mitchell & Dr. Rosen. They still believe Monica is Rachel & Rachel is Monica.
The men brought a bottle of wine over. Dr. Rosen asks Monica how her ankle is doing. As a reflex, Monica starts to talk before Rachel discreetly coughs to warn her to shut up. Rachel tells Dr. Rosen it feels a lot better.
Rachel & Monica go to the kitchen to open the wine bottle. Rachel makes sure the doctors can't hear. She tells Monica they should come clean with their true identities. Monica doesn't want to get in trouble.
Back at the couch, Dr. Mitchell & Rosen are talking amongst themselves about the girls. Dr. Rosen worries that the girls will be neurotic or worse but Dr. Mitchell tells him to relax, the apartment looks normal.
Back at the sink, Monica and Rachel are squabbling about telling versus not telling. Rachel gives Monica the ultimate insult: she is just like her mother. Rachel limps back across the apartment to the living room with glasses of wine for the men, causing Monica to stare aghast.
Dr. Rosen asks the girls how long they have been living in the apartment. When Monica answers, she brings up the fact that she moved in a few months ago because she left a guy at the altar. She is trying to get back at the comment Rachel made earlier. It worked. Monica then says, "I know it's pretty selfish, but ha-ha that's me."
Dr Rosen, a bit uncomfortable, turns to Rachel and asks about her job. Rachel, as Monica, tells the guys she is a chef and loves it because she gets to do the one thing she likes best: boss people around. The doctors are very uncomfortable now.
What ensues is Monica and Rachel making digs at one another. Monica starts by saying how spoiled she is while Rachel mentions how fat she was back in high school. This causes Monica to tell how she wet her bed in high school. Rachel tells the guys she uses her breasts to get people's attention, causing Monica to say, "We both do that!" in an angry tone.
Rachel is fully angered up now. The doctors, completely embarrassed, drink as much wine as possible in one gulp. A long uncomfortable pause before the phone rings. Dr. Mitchell gets the phone, not wanting to be in ground zero. It's Rachel's dad.
Monica takes the phone. She gives a victorious look to Rachel, who is standing up also. Monica tells Rachel's dad that back in freshman year of college, she had sex in his bed.
Rachel staggers backwards, gasping for breath, not knowing which way to move after what Monica just did. She runs to the bathroom.
The following morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler & Monica sit around her coffee table playing scrabble. Rachel is on the phone, pleading to her father not to believe the story Monica told him. Monica tries to give a sweet apologetic smile until distracted by Marcel climbing over her furniture.
Marcel grabs the remote, again, and changes the station to Bugs Bunny, still in Spanish mode.
Rachel is on the phone again, talking to a nurse. All anger gone, she holds the receiver out as she limps over to Monica. Rachel tells Monica the nurse says there's a problem with the forms. And both start panicking. Monica takes the phone only to find out she forgot to sign one of the forms.
Joey quietly enters. Phoebe notices his demeanour and asks if something is wrong. Ursula stood him up & won't take his calls for the past 2 days. Phoebe tries to be angry with Joey but can't. She sees his pain & knows who is at fault: Ursula.
Phoebe enters Riff's to talk with Ursula. Ursula points to a vacant table and they sit down. She is happy that Phoebe has come to see her. Phoebe doesn't know where to begin. So she gives Ursula a birthday present. Ursula can't believe Phoebe remembered her birthday. She opens her gift; it's a Judy Jetson thermos. Ursula is very happy & she gives Phoebe a gift.
Phoebe has a big smile on her face as she begins to unwrap the gift. Her smile fades when she holds up Joey's cardigan. It's not a birthday present, it's Ursula returning Joey's sweater. Phoebe asks Ursula if she is going to call Joey to let him know itâ€™s over. No, she wonâ€™t.
Back at Monica's, Marcel stretches his neck as far out as possible while making a noise from his throat. Ross tells Chandler it's a fur ball. They go back to their Scrabble game. Ross wonders where the "K" went that he just had. Marcel is still making the gurgling noise as Ross & Chandler look horrified at the monkey who is choking.
At the ER, Monica sits with Rachel who fills out a new form, this time with Rachel's information on it. Ross & Chandler hurry in with Marcel wrapped in a towel. They frantically run up to the admission desk.
Monica sees her brother and gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel. The nurse angrily tells Ross to get the monkey out of the ER. But Ross refuses because the animal ER is across town and his monkey is choking now.
The nurse refuses, causing Ross to protest the denial of admission, his monkey will die unless someone helps. Dr. Mitchell offers to help
At Central Perk, Joey plays "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with a flower. He looks hopeful and than annoyed, depending on which petal he lands on.
Phoebe enters, dressed as Ursula. She approaches Joey on the main sofa. Phoebe, as Ursula, apologises to Joey.
She tells Joey he has to pick: either her or Phoebe. Joey says he can't do that, so he's forced to pick Phoebe as he sinks to the sofa depressed. But Phoebe is moved by his good heart. She sits down on the sofa next to Joey. She begins to slip out of character.
Joey kisses her and gets up to leave. But he stops. He knows something is off. He cocks his head from side to side to look at Phoebe from every angle. He calls her out.
Back at the Hospital. Marcel is on the operating table recovering from surgery. Ross sits beside him & Chandler, Monica, & Rachel smile as they look on.
Joey & Phoebe burst through the door to see if Marcel is okay. Ross tells them the doctor removed the "K", "M", and "O" tile. He will be fine.
Chandler asks Ross if he feels like a dad yet. Ross doesn't get it. Chandler reminds him of Marcel. Ross gets it, but is a little unsure. Marcel starts to wake up. Ross asks Marcel how he is doing and Marcel grabs Ross' finger & squeezes it tight. Ross knows he will make a great dad.