Daniel Ernest "Danny" Tanner
Donna Jo Margaret "DJ" Tanner
Stephanie Judith Tanner
Michelle Elizabeth Tanner
Michelle Elizabeth Tanner
Jesse: (to Stephanie and D.J.) Don't ever "ewwwwwww" when your Uncle J is kissing.
D.J.: (comes down the stairs) Hello!
(Jesse and Joey flinch and turn around)
Danny: Don't ever say hello to your father like that again.
Stephanie: (to Corinna, referring to Jesse) You're pretty; watch him.
Corinna: All Jesse and I had between us was 1 little innocent kiss goodbye. It was nothing really. It was one of these. (Corinna kisses Joey)
Joey: Oh that right there--- That was nothing.
Corinna: It's how I kiss my grandmother.
Joey: You must be very close.
Corinna: It was like 4 lips shaking hands.
Corinna: Joey. You are so funny. I think that a sense of humor is a very sexy quality in a man. Your girlfriend must adore you.
Joey: Oh, I don't have a girlfriend.
Corinna: Your not seeing anybody?
Joey: Well sort of. I'm seeing the dentist Wednesday.
Corinna: Well if things don't work out between you and the dentist maybe you and I could get together.
Joey: Well, Dr Hoffman is pretty cute. But he's married.
Corinna: I love how children are so open and natural. I think that's why I went into teaching.
Joey: That's why I refuse to grow up.
( Joey does his immatation of "The Wizard of Oz" to distract Steph.)
Danny: Yeah. That was an incredible simulation. I hope you don't feel bad when I go out and rent the tape tomorrow.
DJ: Oh dad something's happened to the TV. It's snowing in Kansas.
Danny: The cable goes out every time there is a storm.
Steph: Fix it.
Danny: Steph, this is not somethng I can fix.
Steph: Fix it.
Danny: Steph, I'm gonna call the cable company.
Steph: You'll get a busy signal. Fix it.
Danny: Why wasn't I born a cable repairman.
(Knock on the door.)
Joey: Hi, I'm Joey, can I help you please?
Corinna: I'm here to see Jesse.
Joey: Aren't they all.
Danny: Here we go popcorn du jour. All in honor of Stepjanie's first viewing of "The Wizard of Oz".
Steph: I'm psyched.
Danny: You should be honey. It's the sweetest little movie. There's this pretty girl, Dorothy. And she's got this adorable dog Toto, who gets kidnapped by this horrible witch. But she get her dog back. And a house flies through the air. And then it lands on this other horrible witch. Who's feet curl up like party favors. Trust me honey, it's the sweetest little movie.
Jesse: Ok Mr. Back Stabber, why don't you tell everybody what you did today.
Joey: Well. I woke up, turned off the alarm, did that stretching thing---
Jesse: Not the stretching thing, the back stabbing thing.
Danny: And could you pick up the pace a bit. I'd like to get the girls to bed before "Good Morning America."
Jesse: Corinna and me we're madly in love.
DJ: We did see them kissing. Ewww!
Danny: Jesse. Please stop making out in front of my kids.
Joey: Love just does not happen that fast.
Jesse: Hey guys, you know how I know it's real. I can't stop smiling. I'm just smiling away like Nancy Reagan.
Danny: In Jesse's defense, when it comes to love, I think anything is possible. I felt the same thing, instant magic, when I met Pam. She walked into my 10th grade geometry class, sat down right next to me and I said (speaking in a high voice) "Hi, can I borrow your slide rule?
Jesse: You didn't reach puberty by the 10 grade?
Danny: Not till I met Pam. The next morning I woke up with a mustache.
Jesse: Fine you guys crack all the jokes you want but I'm telling you, when our eyes met there was magic.
Joey: With you there's always magic. You should wear a top hat and pull white doves out of your pants.
Danny: Ok what's her name.
Danny: Corinna? Don't you ever met a Debbie or Susie?
Corinna: Thank you for a great day. Guitar lesson, a picnic by the bay, a candlelight dinner in wine country. You do that for all your students?
Jesse: No that was the deluxe lesson. That will be $475.00.
Corinna: The check is in the mail.
(Jesse is trying to teach Corinna an A and D cord. Corinna tries but fails miserably sounding like a tin can falling)
Jesse: Perfect, good, you now have more musical knowledge than Twisted Sister.
Corinna: I teach 2nd grade and I want to acompany my kids on sing-a-longs.
Jesse: That's wonderful you get to work with children. I love youngsters.
(Steph come in with a ripped bear)
Steph: Uncle Jesse.
Jesse: Not now.
Jesse: Awww! Poor Mr. Teddy. I'll tell you what, as soon as we're done I'll help you sew Mr. Teddy's head back on.
Corinna: Interesting decor. I don't meet a lot of men with little pink bunnies on their walls.
Jesse: I'm also a mouseketeer.
Corinna: I like that in a man.
(Jesse trying to write a song)(singing) Jesse: She's a lady. (Talking now) No that's not right. (Singing again) She's a woman. She's a muchacha. (talking again) Maybe she's a man.
Jesse: It's all because of a little story entitled Mean Mr. Joey stabs sweet Uncle Jesse in the back.
DJ: Story time.
Danny: Girls you don't want to hear Mean Mr. Joey stabs sweet Uncle Jesse in the back do you?
DJ: Yeah. Its got a great title.
Danny: I don't know whats going on here but why don't you guys just stop this and give each other a hug. (Jesse has Joey by the pajama tops then turns to glare at Danny when he says that.)A high five?
Jesse: I'm not in the mood.
Joey: Come on, Jesse. Let's let bygones be bygones.
Jesse: All right. Bye. You're gone.
Steph: Do you guys play baseball every night after we go to sleep?
Joey: Well actually girls, ah, your uncle Jesse's holding a bat because he's a wee bit miffed at me.
Jesse: A wee bit miffed? I'm Miffed off.
(Jess holding bat)
Danny: What's going on down here? What with all the screaming?
Joey: Danny, this psycho was about to mash my potato.
(Jesse walks in finding Joey kissing Corinna)
Jesse: Well well well
Joey: Oh you're home.
Jesse: Yes I am
Joey: Jess it's not what it looks like.
Jesse: It looks like you're kissing my girl.
Joey: Actually Corinna was choking on some bad cheese. I tried the Heimlich maneuver and when that didn't work I tried the Hoover maneuver.
Jesse: So you weren't kissing you were searching for cheese?
When Jesse is talking to Corinna, he talks about how he's a mouseketeer and how today is Anything-Can-Happen Day, those lines were originally used for Vanessa in the unaired pilot episode, starring John Posey as Danny Tanner.
The thunder sound effects heard throughout this episode are the classic "Castle thunder" sound effects. They debuted in Frankenstein (1941) and has been used in many countless pre-1980s movies, as well as many Disney movies and Hanna-Barbera cartoons.
Joey's Performance to the family, and Corinna: The Wizard of Oz.
When the cable goes out, Joey uses props to perform his own version of the 1938 movie classic, The Wizard of Oz.
Title of Episode: Jesse's Girl The title of this episode may be related to the Rick Springfield hit of the same title. (I wish that I had Jesse's girl).
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