Full House Season 1 Episode 12

(Joey took the ladder away to keep Jesse trapped in the vents)
Jesse: Joey, give me the ladder!
Joey: I'm not putting the ladder back until we have a talk.
Jesse: Talk.
Joey: You have to promise me that if you capture the ferret, you'll let him go in a safe and pleasant environment.
Jesse: Ok, fine. I'll capture him, I'll buy him a little ferret condo, I'll fix him up with a hot little mink and send him to Club Med for the winter.

Jesse: In order to catch a ferret, you must... become one with the ferret.
Joey: Oh sure. Like this? (he starts imitating a ferret)
Jesse: Joey when you were a kid, did you fall out of a tree house?
Joey: Yeah.

(Jesse and Joey hear the "monster")
Jesse: Ah ha. North American Silver-Footed Ferret, adult male, two an a hlaf pounds. I'd say from the echo, he's heading towards the garage.
Joey: How can you possibly know this?
Jesse: Its a gift.

Jesse: I have great news. I met a girl today.
Joey: That's not news, that's sports!

Stephanie: (grabs Danny's leg) Daddy, thank goodness you're home!
Danny: Aww, I missed you too, sweetheart. Did you miss all of me, or just my leg?
DJ: Stephanie says she's hearing a monster in the garage, but if you ask me, it's just a desperate plea for attention.
Danny: DJ, stop watching Oprah, and start doing your homework.

Ronnie: Hello, I'm Ronnie. That's short for Veronica.
DJ: Hi, I'm DJ. That's short for Donna Jo.
Stephanie: I'm Stephanie. (pauses) I'm just short.

DJ: Stephanie, why do you keep following me?
Stephanie: Because you keep leaving me.
DJ: Steph, I know you're just a little kid with no life of your own, but Kimmy and I are trying to talk woman-to-woman.
Stephanie: I'm a woman. I'm a little woman, but I'm a woman!