Fry: These letters are real butt-nutters! Listen to this one: Dear Santa.
Girl(voice-over; writing): Please, please don't bring me any gifts. The bicycle you fired at me last year from your bicycle gun really tore up my insides.
Leela: Awful! Let's read some more... Dear Santa.
Boy(voice-over; writing): Please bring me a coffin for Grandpa. You choked him with a chestnut last year and he's beginning to smell a lot like Xmas if you know what I mean.