The Elves' Song
We are free and fairly sober
With so many toys to build!
The machines are kind of tricky,
Prob'ly someone will be killed.
But we gladly work for nothing...
Which is good because we don't intend to pay.
The Elves are back to work today!
We have just a couple hours
To make several billion gifts
And the labor isn't easy.
Then you'll all work triple shifts.
You can make the job go quicker
If you turn up the controls to super-speed.
(The controls switch to Lucy and the Elves' work and the song accelerate in the tempo.)
Fry, Leela, Bender and Elves:
It's back to work on X-Mas Eve!
And tho' you're cold and sore and ugly,
Your pride will mask the pain.
Let my happy smile warm your heart.
There's a toy lodged in my brain.
We are getting awf'lly tired
And we can't work any faster
And we're very, very sorry.
Why, you selfish little bastards!
Do you want the kids to think that Santa's
Just a crummy empty-handed jerk?
Then shut your yaps and back to work!
Now it's very nearly X-Mas
And we've done the best we could.
These toy soldiers are poorly painted...
And they're made from inferior wood.
I should give you all a beating
But I really have to fly.
If I weren't stuck here frozen,
I'd harpoon you in the eye!
Now it's back into our tenements
To drown ourselves in rye.
You did the best you could, I guess
And some of these gorillas are okay.
The elves have rescued X-Mas Day!