Futurama Forums

Comedy Central (ended 2013)

best bender quotes

  • Avatar of ModernTimes

    ModernTimes

    [101]Jan 30, 2008
    • member since: 03/13/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 858

    Nudar: Sir, would you care to sign our petition?

    Bender: I support and oppose many things but not stongly enough to pick up a pen.

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  • Avatar of ChosenOne42

    ChosenOne42

    [102]Feb 1, 2008
    • member since: 05/19/07
    • level: 21
    • rank: Snagglepuss
    • posts: 902
    Bender: Perform virus scan? I'm waiting for porn over here!
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  • Avatar of vanbrat

    vanbrat

    [103]Feb 2, 2008
    • member since: 12/27/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 223

    A Pharoah to Remember had a lot of good ones.

    My favorite was after Bender blasts Zoidberg for singing "Danny Boy" at his faux funeral --

    Bender: "I'd say don't quit your day job, but you're awful at that, too."

    Lela (protesting): "We're doing our best."

    Bender: "Your best is an idiot!"

    Honorable mentions --

    "Hey. You spend your whole life building a guy's toe, you're gonna remember him."

    and --

    Bender (to slave): "Why are you not working?"

    Slave: "I am."

    Bender: "I mean yourself to death."

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  • Avatar of vanbrat

    vanbrat

    [104]Feb 2, 2008
    • member since: 12/27/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 223

    Another awesome one from Bendin' in the Wind --

    "How can I sing about being damaged, if I'm not? That's like Christina Aguilera singing in Spanish. Wait...that's it! I'll fake it!"

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  • Avatar of PieLove

    PieLove

    [105]Feb 2, 2008
    • member since: 08/03/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 248

    I like the episode where the crew has to do re-enact the show "Sexy Female Lawyer", and while holding the board in front of the camera, Bendersings, "Sexy female lawyer, having lots of sex......." always cracks me up, that episode!!!!

    Oh, and the episode where Bender trades in his body because it is 40% titanium, and he's now only a head, I'm pretty sure it's "A Head In the Poles", and he says to Fry something like, "Hey, what's that thing growing out of your head? Oh, wait, it's just your body! Ha!" LOL!!! And then later he says, "Bodies are for prostitutes andfat people." Love that part!

    Edited on 02/02/2008 10:39am
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  • Avatar of vanbrat

    vanbrat

    [106]Feb 2, 2008
    • member since: 12/27/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 223
    PieLove wrote:

    And then later he says, "Bodies are for prostitutes and fat people." Love that part!

    Yeah, that was hilarious.

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  • Avatar of ChosenOne42

    ChosenOne42

    [107]Feb 2, 2008
    • member since: 05/19/07
    • level: 21
    • rank: Snagglepuss
    • posts: 902
    PieLove wrote:

    I like the episode where the crew has to do re-enact the show "Sexy Female Lawyer", and while holding the board in front of the camera, Bendersings, "Sexy female lawyer, having lots of sex......." always cracks me up, that episode!!!!

    Oh, and the episode where Bender trades in his body because it is 40% titanium, and he's now only a head, I'm pretty sure it's "A Head In the Poles", and he says to Fry something like, "Hey, what's that thing growing out of your head? Oh, wait, it's just your body! Ha!" LOL!!! And then later he says, "Bodies are for prostitutes andfat people." Love that part!

    The show was actually called Single Female Lawyer.

    And the line from "A Head In the Polls" was:

    Hey, it looks like you're neck stepped in something. Oh, wait! That's your body! Hahaha!!

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  • Avatar of omegapirate2010

    omegapirate2010

    [108]Feb 2, 2008
    • member since: 07/15/05
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 65

    Sorry if this has already been posted.

    (Planet Express lies in ruins)

    Bender: ... And that's how we learned our lesson!

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  • Avatar of omegapirate2010

    omegapirate2010

    [109]Feb 2, 2008
    • member since: 07/15/05
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 65
    Also: Bender: I'll start my own club, with blackjack.... and hookers! You know what, forget the blackjack!
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  • Avatar of PieLove

    PieLove

    [110]Feb 3, 2008
    • member since: 08/03/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 248
    ChosenOne42 wrote:
    PieLove wrote:

    I like the episode where the crew has to do re-enact the show "Sexy Female Lawyer", and while holding the board in front of the camera, Bendersings, "Sexy female lawyer, having lots of sex......." always cracks me up, that episode!!!!

    Oh, and the episode where Bender trades in his body because it is 40% titanium, and he's now only a head, I'm pretty sure it's "A Head In the Poles", and he says to Fry something like, "Hey, what's that thing growing out of your head? Oh, wait, it's just your body! Ha!" LOL!!! And then later he says, "Bodies are for prostitutes andfat people." Love that part!

    The show was actually called Single Female Lawyer.

    And the line from "A Head In the Polls" was:

    Hey, it looks like you're neck stepped in something. Oh, wait! That's your body! Hahaha!!

    My mistake! I typed it from memory. x)
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  • Avatar of lazyjay

    lazyjay

    [111]Feb 3, 2008
    • member since: 07/15/05
    • level: 30
    • rank: Anchorman
    • posts: 16,683
    Bender's Big Score spoiler...

    ***SPOILER***
    Edited on 02/03/2008 6:12pm
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  • Avatar of Whizkid103

    Whizkid103

    [112]Feb 4, 2008
    • member since: 11/19/07
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 1,889
    You win again reality!
    Scarab,forearm bird,bird,bird!
    Grab her purse!
    And Super King, the best of the three!
    El Zilcho......is it too late to change my superhero name?
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  • Avatar of lazyjay

    lazyjay

    [113]Feb 4, 2008
    • member since: 07/15/05
    • level: 30
    • rank: Anchorman
    • posts: 16,683
    From Bender's Big Score...
    Bender: It's like looking in a smelly mirror.
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  • Avatar of Krendall

    Krendall

    [114]Feb 5, 2008
    • member since: 12/22/04
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 92

    Fry: What I need isn't friends, it's things.
    Bender: I'm a thing...

    Bender: Don't worry, I don't have an addictive personality. [Drinks a beer and smokes a cigar.]

    Bender: I think I got whiplash.
    Leela: How could you get whiplash? You don't even have a neck.
    Bender: I meant ass-whiplash.

    Bender: Him pending para un bending!

    Bender: Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves.

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  • Avatar of ChosenOne42

    ChosenOne42

    [115]Feb 8, 2008
    • member since: 05/19/07
    • level: 21
    • rank: Snagglepuss
    • posts: 902
    Bender: You've all successfully convinced me that life is worth living, by showing me how bad my funeral will suck!
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  • Avatar of cyl7695

    cyl7695

    [116]Feb 9, 2008
    • member since: 11/26/07
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 117

    bite my shiny metal a**.

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  • Avatar of ChosenOne42

    ChosenOne42

    [117]Feb 9, 2008
    • member since: 05/19/07
    • level: 21
    • rank: Snagglepuss
    • posts: 902

    Slave: Pharaoh, it hurts when I breath!

    Bender: Then what do you think you should stop doing?

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  • Avatar of big_old_tom

    big_old_tom

    [118]Feb 9, 2008
    • member since: 04/02/06
    • level: 10
    • rank: Holy Level 10!
    • posts: 171

    Bender: "You know, it's funny."

    Fry: "What?"

    Bender: "Your penis Hahaha."

    classic

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  • Avatar of ChosenOne42

    ChosenOne42

    [119]Feb 9, 2008
    • member since: 05/19/07
    • level: 21
    • rank: Snagglepuss
    • posts: 902

    Amy: Are you sure this is the only way to get the buggalo out of the crater?

    Leela: Not unless your parents have thousands of helicopters at their disposal.

    Amy: Well, actually-

    Bender: Too late! This is more fun! (detonates explosives)

    Edited on 02/09/2008 4:44pm
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  • Avatar of lazyjay

    lazyjay

    [120]Feb 9, 2008
    • member since: 07/15/05
    • level: 30
    • rank: Anchorman
    • posts: 16,683
    Bender: That'll teach those scammers and me!
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