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Comedy Central (ended 2013)

best bender quotes

  • Avatar of lazyjay

    lazyjay

    [141]Jul 12, 2008
    • member since: 07/15/05
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    From Beast With a Billion Backs...

    Bender: Love is suspicious, love is needy, love is fearful, love is greedy. My friends, there is no great love without great jealousy!

    If only I had figured that out before I got married!
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  • Avatar of Ded_Rat

    Ded_Rat

    [142]Jul 20, 2008
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    "Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves"
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  • Avatar of TheGreatRingsby

    TheGreatRingsby

    [143]Aug 4, 2008
    • member since: 11/16/06
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    This one has been said twice

    -"Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!"

    -"I'm so embarassed, I wish everyone else was dead"

    And here are a few I'm surprised haven't been said

    -"I never mean to hurt anyone.. or help anyone"

    -"Oooh hoo hoo, here comes violence!"

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  • Avatar of watever393

    watever393

    [144]Aug 6, 2008
    • member since: 06/08/08
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    Save my friends! And Zoidberg!

    Not exacly a Bender quote but...

    Mayor Poopenmegyer (or whatever) greets Fry, Leela, and Bender as Captain Yesterday, Clobberella, and My Leige

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  • Avatar of TheGreatRingsby

    TheGreatRingsby

    [145]Aug 23, 2008
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    (while a bus is going off the cliff with him and the crew in it)

    "I'LLLL SAVE MEEE!!!!!"

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  • Avatar of nin6_8

    nin6_8

    [146]Aug 24, 2008
    • member since: 05/13/07
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    Bender: Ahhh, what an awful dream. Ones and zeroes everywhere... and I thought I saw a two.
    Fry: Don't worry, Bender: there's no such thing as two.
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  • Avatar of watever393

    watever393

    [147]Aug 25, 2008
    • member since: 06/08/08
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    Again, not exacly a quote but...

    Robot Devil: I'll help you... if you give me your first born son! HAHAHAHAH!!!!!11

    Bender: OK

    (Cuts to Bender in a suburban area facing a child that looks like him)

    Child: Papa? I knew you'd come back Papa!

    (Bender scoops child up and comes back to the Robot Devil's office)

    Bender: Hear you go, chief.

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  • Avatar of MissMune

    MissMune

    [148]Aug 28, 2008
    • member since: 09/07/06
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    "OH, WHO WILL MAKE BENDER WAFFLES JUST THE WAY HE LIKES THEM NOW?!"

    "Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV? Sitting down with your children? And hitting them?"

    "All those times I'd say 'kill all humans', I'd always whisper 'except one'. Fry was that one, and I never told him so!"

    "I never meant to hurt anyone... or help anyone..."

    "The only reason you get all the guys is because you dress like a tramp! [slaps Fry]"

    "Je suis Napoleon! ...Haha, no, seriously, I'm not."

    "No, wait, I think I'm coming down with Stolkholmes syndrome! ...handsome."

    "Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that."

    "Bender is a lone wolf, a solitary eagle, a cuddly baby tapir, and that's why I love em'!"

    "Did you rip off your own arm as a joke?"

    "This could be the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it. ...Also life."

    "Oh! I'm gonna wash my linin so hard!"

    Opera!Bender: Leela! Leela! Leela! Save him! Save Fry, Save Fry! Godzilla will devour him! As for me I must be off to see a doc about this cough! ...Goodbye!

    Bender: I don't recall fighting Godzilla, but that is so what I would have done.

    "I wish I was stupid and violent. I'd pound their -"

    "I could curl up at da foo'da the bed."

    "[drunkenly] I once knew a guy. You look like him. He wasn't, neither. Brrrrg. I'm a good captain."

    Okay... so maybe I got a little carried away. But can I help it if Bender has some great quotes? No. No, I can't. The last two I really like more for the way they were said, though.

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  • Avatar of watever393

    watever393

    [149]Aug 28, 2008
    • member since: 06/08/08
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    Nine, ten, a Big Fat Hen!

    ...Named Bender.

    Edited on 08/28/2008 8:12pm
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  • Avatar of Bobblehead34

    Bobblehead34

    [150]Aug 30, 2008
    • member since: 07/12/08
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    Bender: "Have you ever Just tried turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?" (Sorry if some words are wrong, I havn't seen that episode in a long time)
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  • Avatar of BobbyHeffley

    BobbyHeffley

    [151]Sep 3, 2008
    • member since: 07/30/05
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    Bobblehead34 wrote:
    Bender: "Have you ever Just tried turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?" (Sorry if some words are wrong, I havn't seen that episode in a long time)

    Isn't that from Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV?

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  • Avatar of lazyjay

    lazyjay

    [152]Sep 11, 2008
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    Bender: (singing) I love stealing, I love taking things!
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  • Avatar of 2POKE22

    2POKE22

    [153]Sep 26, 2008
    • member since: 08/04/07
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    "Hey other universe, bite my shiny metal a- ZAP!- AAAAAAAAAHHHH

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  • Avatar of redgingersnap87

    redgingersnap87

    [154]Oct 9, 2008
    • member since: 12/31/07
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    ChosenOne42 wrote:

    I, Roommate

    Fry: I can't believe they kicked me out. I must have been really acting like a jerk.

    Bender: Yeah, but everybody's a jerk. You, me, (points to guy) this jerk. That's my philosophy.



    Thats one of my faorite Bender quotes. I also like the quote: "I'm so embarassed, I wish everyone else was dead".
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  • Avatar of lazyjay

    lazyjay

    [155]Oct 14, 2008
    • member since: 07/15/05
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    Bender: Well, let's get lootin'!
    Edited on 10/14/2008 9:14pm
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  • Avatar of AlexKrycec

    AlexKrycec

    [157]Oct 19, 2008
    • member since: 07/11/05
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    i'm not allowed to sing. court order. -the sting
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  • Avatar of Lonestarr357

    Lonestarr357

    [158]Nov 22, 2008
    • member since: 06/18/05
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    "If they put me on a stamp, tell 'em to use the young Bender."

    "Whenever I said 'kill all humans', I'd always whisper, 'except one'. Fry was that one, and I never got to tell him!"

    "Who will make Bender waffles just the way he likes them now?!"

    "You degenerate hussy! I'm very disappointed in you, too, Anglelyne."

    "This is the worst kind of discrimination...the kind against me!"

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  • Avatar of Vadersempire

    Vadersempire

    [159]Dec 22, 2008
    • member since: 01/19/08
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    //Bender: Banditos aye, that's great, 'cause I have a flawless spanish accent. "I say Addeose Paddree, I'll meet in Tihuahuah, we shall eat "Jewockamole" by El Rio."

    Calculon: That was so horrible, I think it gave me cancer. I don't care how good they say you are, you'll never work on my show.

    Fry and Leela from behind the door: Yeah Bender! We demand Bender!

    Calculon: However, you got the job. Put er there son.

    Bender: Fathero! (Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV!)

    //Fry: I only have 2 more fantasies to do, be invisible in a chocolate factory and to be hooked up with a big time celebrity.

    Bender: I could hit ya over the head until you think that's what happened. (I Dated A Robot)

    //Bender: And I could use real words. Not fake ones like "Odelay"

    Beck: Odelay is a real word, just check the bectionary.

    Bender: Oooh. (Bendin' in the Wind)

    //Uncle Vlademere: Join us Bender, you'll like being dead.

    Bender: That's what they said about being alive! (The Honking)

    //Slave: Pharoah Bender, it hurts to breath.

    Bender: Then what do you think you should stop doing? (A Pharaoh to Remember)

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  • Avatar of horvagab

    horvagab

    [160]Jan 4, 2009
    • member since: 06/22/06
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    From Bender's Big Score:

    "You're wrong! Fry is dead! I killed him!

    Amy: Bender, why?

    Personally, I blame you!

    Amy: But how can you?

    Well, it ain't easy, but that just proves how great I am.

    Not 100% accurate, but that's the gist of it. Just to be sure, the unmarked quotes are Bender's

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