Roberto / Malfunctioning Eddie / Hairbot / Abraham Lincoln Robot / Horserace Announcer
Philip J. Fry / Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth / Dr. Zoidberg / Smitty / Richard Nixon / Judge Ron Whitey
Teller / Surveillance Camera / Nurse Ratchet / CIA Voice
Hermes Conrad / Bailiff / Unit 2013
At the end of the court trial, when Professor Farnsworth says "Keep your chin up", you can clearly see that the box that Fry and Bender is in has no tape on it on either side.
Three different times during the court trial, Judge Whitey has a microphone. All the other times he doesn't have one.
During the entire court trial, the flag next to Judge Whitey keeps jumping from being to the left of him to behind him constantly for no apparent reason.
Bender says "Je suis Napoleon" and "Bonjour, y'all", which contradicts French being "an incomprehensible dead languange" in the future.
This is the second time Bender says that Fry has the heart of a robot. The first time was in I, Roommate.
Wouldn't it be impractical, not to mention a waste of taxpayers money, to have an asylum for robots? If these robots are malfunctioning, why not just re-program them?
Opening theme promotion: BENDER'S HUMOUR BY MICROSOFT JOKE
By 3002, the Constitution has at least 67 Amendments.
The sign outside the bank reads 'Counterfeit Money? Ask About Our "Phoney Baloney" Account.'
Hermes has a button on his calculator labeled "Carry The One."
The courthouse seal has an eagle holding gavels.
There is a robot in the asylum that can pick up transmissions from the CIA. The transmissions we hear are the cafeteria menus for the week "beginning May 15th" and start with Monday, suggesting that May 15th 3002 (the current year in the show) is on a Monday. It isn't.
Bender has an extendable neck in this episode when he's trying to avoid Roberto's knife. In Episode 20, when Bender says he thinks he has whiplash, Leela tells him that he can't have whiplash because he doesn't have a neck.
RESPONSE: It is possible that Leela doesn't know about Bender's extendable neck, because she wasn't there in the bank with Bender and Fry, and didn't see it.
Leela seems to unscrew the nut in the wrong direction. It looks like "Lefty-Loosey, Righty-Tighty" doesn't apply in the future.
Why would a robot write something on paper, even with a pen?
If the asylum is only for robots, why were Fry's clothes sucked off him by that tube, and why was he given a gown to wear? Since robots don't wear clothes, these features seem a bit odd in a robot asylum.
When Fry offers his services as a calculator, he says "Ye," and Hermes says that Robots don't say "Ye," but in The Honking, the robots freely say it.
When Fry undoes his pants to get the sandwiches out, in the very next shot they are done up again. He has been holding the sandwiches the whole time, so how did the pants do themselves up? There wouldn't have been enough time for Fry to put down the sandwiches, do up his pants, and then pick up the sandwiches again.
The knife Roberto used to stab Fry was much longer than the thickness of the oil can Fry had in his jacket.
Fry: (Fry and bender are in a box being rolled away end-over-end) Ow, my head! Ow, my feet! Ow, my head! Ow, my feet!
Farnsworth: Keep your chin up!
Fry: Ow, my chin!
Bender: Buddy, you may be wrapped in greasy skin, but inside you've got the heart of a robot.
Fry: Aw... Thanks, Bender.
Bender: Just like inside me, I've got the heart of a human. (takes a human heart out)
Fry(after being kissed by Leela): I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again!
Leela: You did it, Fry!
Bender: Congratulations, buddy! You're a credit to my race!
Fry: It was nothing. I... (sees blood on his finger) Blood? Robots don't have blood. I must be a, a...
Dr. Zoidberg: A squid?
Fry: (happily) A human! Oh, my god! I'm a human!
Dr. Zoidberg: Also good.
Roberto: Help! Help! He is a battle-droid! Somebody help me! Mommy! I'm sorry I spilled the transmission fluid, Mommy! No! No! Don't weld me to the wall, Mommy!
Fry: No knife can penetrate my skin-tanium armour.
Leela: Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful!
Fry: Negative, bossy meat creature. I know now what my primary function is: I am a battle-droid, sworn to protect the weak from crazy robots.
Roberto: I'm not crazy! Don't call me crazy! I-I'm just not user-friendly!
Hermes: Fry! Don't be the hero! It's not covered by the insurance plan!
Fry: Halt, fellow robot!
Roberto: Hey, Red. You're just in time to join the hostage situation. Which side you wanna be on?
Fry: The side that kicks your twisted, metal ass!
Roberto: I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. Guess it, and you die first. Go!
Bender: Um, OK. Fifty...six...ish?
Roberto: 56? 56?! Oh, man! That was all I can think about! I'm gonna kill you, you...you... no-good, 56-ing...!
(Bender shrieks and avoids Roberto's stabbing with his bionic neck.)
Bender: No! Don't kill me yet! I'm starting to come down with Stockholm Syndrome...Handsome!
Leela: Wait! Take ME first!
Bender: Yes! Take HER first!
Roberto: Shut up! Stop telling me how to do this!
Roberto: Okay. To show them who's crazy, I'm gonna execute some of you... How about you?? (pokes Farnsworth's neck with his knife)
Farnsworth: Ouch! (rubbing neck) That's going to bleed when my heart beats...
Roberto: Back off! I got hostages!
Zoidberg: Hooray! I'm helping!
Smitty: Do you have any better hostages?
Roberto: Hands up! This is a stick-up again!
Bender: Wow! Hitting the same place three times? I admire your style, Roberto.
Roberto: Gimme the remaining dough. And the calendars... and that pen. Try to tear it so most of the beads are on my end!
Hermes: (after Fry throws away his calculator) Sacred hog of Prague! That was my anniversary gift to LaBarbara!
Fry: Fear not, for I shall assist ye.
Hermes: Robots don't say "ye"!
Fry: Relax, mammal. My robotic software shall meet your calculatory needs. (looks at paper) What is the meaning of this symbol?
Hermes: (pulls paper away) That's a plus sign, you pointy-haired loony! Quit thinking you're a robot!
Fry: (slyly) I'll show ye...
Bender: Uh... Roberto? What's with the get-up?
Roberto: I'm in disguise, because I'm thinking of escaping. You in, or do I gotta KILL YOU so you don't squeal??
Bender: I'm in, I'm in! (chuckles) So... When were you planning the breakout, hm?
Roberto: Oh, I was thinking... about a few seconds ago.
Roberto: Hey. Bender.
Bender: (surprised) R-Roberto! Ooh, what a surprise to see you in here! That's because I didn't squeal on you. Remember? Remember all that squealing I didn't do? Remember? Do you?
Roberto: Yeah, yeah. Now lie down and play dead. And don't ham it up.
Bender: Uh... Sure thing. Anything for you, Roberto, ol' buddy...
Commentator: And down the stretch, it's Daddy's Little Grandpa, followed by Perennial Loser, and bringing up the rear, it's Lasty!
Bender: Come on, Lasty!
Fry: Negative. I must be a robot. Why else would human women refuse to date me?
Leela: Oh, lots of reasons.
Dr. Zoidberg: Listen to me, Fry... Just because you think you're a robot, that doesn't make you a robot. After all, I think I'm a doctor but that doesn't make ME a doctor; these fancy clothes do.
Roberto: Hi, Red!
Fry: (scared) Roberto! W-What are you doing here??
Roberto: I got busted robbing that bank again.
Fry: W-why would you hold up the same bank twice??
Roberto: Ah, that first time was just to shake up the joint and rob it a little... What's the matter? You scared??
Fry: (nervously) N-n-n-
Roberto: Noticeably? I'll say. Now stand back, I gotta practice my stabbing! (jabs knife and makes kung-fu style shouts)
Fry: No! Please! Help! Stop it! Police!
(Bender bangs on wall behind Fry.)
Bender: (behind wall) Hey, keep it down in there; I'm tuning my banjo!
(Banjo music plays as Fry begins to whimper.)
Roberto: Geez, Red... Quit cowering. You call yourself a robot??
(continues jabbing and shouting)
Fry: I'm not a robot! I'M NOT A ROBOT!!! (screams like a lunatic)
Fry: At least I have friends on the outside. Bender's been no help at all.
Bender: Je suis Napoleon! No, seriously, I'm not.
Amy: Bender! You should be more ashamed of yourself than usual.
Leela: We're all trying to help you. We've petitioned the governor but he doesn't want to appear soft on people who've been falsely imprisoned.
Fry: You guys gotta get me out of here. I would have starved to death if not for that sick vending machine robot.
(The vending machine robot coughs up a candy bar that lands on the floor.)
Fry: Oh, boy! Gimme! (pounces on the candy bar and munches hungrily on it)
Hermes: Poor Fry... He's got the munchies for freedom.
Fry: Bender, I can't take much more of this! I want out of here!
Bender: What, are you crazy? This place is great! Free electroshock whenever you want it, two Lincolns for every Napoleon... (sips a spoonful of oil) Aah, sweet light crude... (grabs a dollar bill out of a vending machine robot and uses it as a napkin)
Unit 2013: And this here is Frankie. He's convinced he's a lunchroom worker, so they put him to work in the lunchroom. How is work in the lunchroom, Frankie?
Frankie: (casually) It's alright.
Unit 2013: Poor Frankie.
Fry: (about Lincolnbot) Let me guess... He thinks he's Lincoln?
Unit 2013: Well, he's supposed to be. The problem is he's got multiple personalities, all of them Lincoln.
Lincolnbot: (stands up) I was born in two hundred log cabins.
Unit 2013: Fry, meet Norm. (to Norm) How's it going, pal? Still picking up transmissions from the CIA on your teeth?
Norm: They...just...won't...stop! (opens jaws, revealing small radar dishes picking up radio signals)
Woman on radio: The CIA cafeteria menu for the week of May 15th is as follows: Monday: shepherd's pie, Tuesday... (jaws get shut)
Unit 2013: Hey, man. I believe you're a human.
Fry: You do?
Unit 2013: Sure. They don't believe I'm a human either. Name's Unit 2013.
Nurse Ratchet: (about Malfunctioning Eddie) He's very excitable, so don't say anything to excite him.
(Fry enters the room.)
Malfunctioning Eddie: Pleased to meet you.
Fry: Actually, we've met once before.
Malfunctioning Eddie: WHAT?! (explodes in front of Fry)
Nurse Ratchet: Fry, let me tell you about your roomate. His name is Malfunctioning Eddie.
Fry: The car dealer?? Wow, I guess his prices really WERE insane...
Perceptron: Greetings. I am Dr. Perceptron. Let me give you something to help you relax.
(He presses a button and Fry gets an electric shock)
Fry: Look! There's been a terrible mistake. I'm a human being. See? I'm all squishy and flabby. Also, I complain a lot.
Perceptron: Yes, you do. You need to relax more. (He gives Fry another shock) Terrific. Now, consider the following: You were admitted to this robot asylum. Therefore, you must be a robot. Diagnosis complete.
Fry: I do other human stuff! I age! See?
Fry: I don't belong here, Bender. This is an asylum for insane robots!
Bender: Well, you meet half the qualifications.
Whitey: Mr. Bender, I hereby commit you to the asylum for criminally insane robots until such time as you are deemed cured.
Bender: Yahoo! The system fails again!
Whitey: And, Mr. Fry, I sentence you to the home for criminally insane humans.
Bailiff: Your Honour, that facility has been full ever since you ruled that being poor is a mental illness.
Whitey: Order! Order! The only poor people I want to hear about are the people who tend to my pores at the spa. Just send them both to the robot loony bin and let's go.
Whitey: Counselor, what evidence do you offer to support this new plea of insanity?
Hyper-Chicken: Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them.
Whitey: Insanity plea is accepted.
Hyper-Chicken: I may be a simple country Hyper-Chicken but I know when we're finger-licked. Whattya say we plead insanity?
Bender: A few months in an insane asylum? I could do that standing on my head.
Hyper-Chicken: If you start now, it might help our case.
Fry: I refuse to testify on the grounds that my organs will be chopped up into a patty.
Whitey: Ah, the 67th Amendment.
Whitey(answering phone): Yes? What? You say if I testify I'll be killed?... Oh. It's for you.
Hyper-Chicken: Mr. Fry, do you recognise the robot a-huggin' on you in this here hologram?
Fry: I sure do! That's the real robber and I'll never forget his name as long as I live. And that name is...(notices Roberto in the courtroom)
Leela: Fry! Just give a name. You don't wanna look stupid on Court TV!
Hyper-Chicken: As the surveillance camera for the bank what all the judge was a-jawing about, could y'all tell us what you done seen the day of the crime?
Camera: Well, let's see. My memory's a little fuzzy, but it went exactly like this:
It projects a picture of Fry and Bender taking the money from Roberto
Hyper-Chicken: Your Honour, I move that I be disbarred for introducing this evidence against my own clients.
Bailiff: Court is in session. The Honourable Judge Whitey presiding.
Whitey: The charge is bank robbery. Now, my caddie chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested. Therefore, robbing a bank is tantamount to that most heinous of crimes, theft of money.
Roberto: I've seen lines move faster than this in a sperm bank...
Bender: That's for sure... (notices Roberto) Roberto! Is that you??
Roberto: Bender! Hey, man!
(Both robots punch each other playfully and giggle.)
Bender: Roberto, you old lunatic! How've you been?
Roberto: Oh, not bad. Not bad... (holds up a knife) EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR!!! THIS IS A STICK-UP!!!
Bender: Yeah, I'm doing okay, too. I'm taking a Chinese cooking class at the Learning Annex.
Teller: You're opening a retirement account for $6? I'm sure a wealthy... (She sniffs)... mule farmer like yourself is aware that we charge a $10 monthly fee.
Fry: You gotta spend money to make money.
Teller: Here you are, sir. Your account is now overdrawn by $4.
Fry: Oh, no, I'm boned! I haven't paid into the pension either. What'll I do when I retire?
Bender: I thought you were retired.
Fry: Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age.
Bender: I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to "off".
Hermes: Yes, yes. Now here's your pension statement. It's empty because you haven't paid into it, you dumb stinkbug!
Zoidberg: You kept track of it all these years!
Zoidberg: Ah, the years! So many memories, so many strange fluids gushing out of patients' bodies...
Zoidberg: Look! Coupons! I can get two oil changes for the price of one! Now if I could only afford the one... and the car.
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! Today marks our dear friend Dr. Zoidberg's 10th year with Planet Express. Huzzahs are in order.
Zoidberg: Hooray for me! Hooray for Zoidberg!
Hermes: I will now read the mandatory speech. Dear employee. Has it really been five, 10 or 15 years? If not, please disregard this and get back to work. Distribute token of appreciation and applaud.
Announcer: Futurama, is brought to you by, Thompson's Teeth! The only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth!
Fry: But I'm not a robot like you. I don't like having disks crammed into me... unless they're Oreos. And then only in the mouth.
Fry: Help me! For god's sake! Help me!
Farnsworth: Oh don't worry Fry. I too once spent a nightmarish time in a robot asylum, but now it's nearly over. So long!
Leela: I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.
Farnsworth: You're going to do his laundry?
Fry: You gotta help me, Bender. I gotta prove to them that I'm a human.
Bender: You can drop dead; that would show 'em you're a human.
Fry: (whining) I don't wanna!
First appearance of Roberto.
The can of oil Fry stickes in his jacket has the symbol for "pi" on it. Roughly translated, the can says "3.14... In 1 Oil."
A number of robots from previous episodes make guest appearances in the asylum.
Famous Original Ray's Superior Court is a cheap reference to all the pizza places in NYC that belong to a guy named Ray.
The Star Diaries: by Stanislaw Lem Fry's stay in the asylum is reminiscent of a chapter in the 1971 book "The Star Diaries."
One Flew Over Cuckoo's Nest
There are a number of references to the movie, including the tour/meet & greet and Nurse Ratchet.
Cypress Hill: Insane in the Membrane
This title is a play on the Cypress Hill song, "Insane in the Membrane."
Name of Asylum: The HAL Institute for Criminally Insane Robots
HAL was the 'insane' computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Mad Hatter Bot: Switch Places.
A quote from Alice in Wonderland, the design of the Mad Hatter robot is clearly based on the original illustrations from the book (complete with price tag on hat), as also used by Disney for their movie. The voice of the robot is also an impression of the Disney character's voice.
Bender: Don't kill me yet! I'm starting to come down with Stockholm Syndrome.
Stockholm Syndrome is the state many people held in hostage situations get in where they actually start to like their captors. Named for the city in which it was first identified in the 70s.
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