Calculon: No, wait, let me explain. It all began one fateful night a thousand years ago.
Bender: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You're a thousand years old? Your bio says you're 27!
Calculon: Lies! I change my identity and upgrade my appearance every few decades to avoid suspicion. I was all of history's great acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespo-mat, David Duchovny!
Fry: Look, are you the original were-car or not?
Calculon: No, but you are nearing the end of your search. For, you see, I was attacked by the original were-car.
Bender: Give us a name, MacButt!