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Game of Thrones S04E01: "Two Swords"


Wow, it felt like that break between seasons lasted forever! Going into the Season 4 premiere, I barely even remembered what Game of Thrones was about. I was like, "What!? This show has dragons?" So before we start discussing "Two Swords," here's a quick refresher on how these reviews usually work/a primer for any new readers (hi, new readers! You smell delightful!): 

  • I'll recap each episode with commentary mixed in. Sometimes I get a little wordy; sometimes I speed right through. I try to be funny, but my success rate is like two percent on a good day.
  • I've read through Book 3, A Storm of Swords, so I know some of the stuff that'll be happening, but not all of it. Also, I finished the book a long time ago and my mind is like a sieve, so I've forgotten a lot of it. I'll avoid spoiling events from the books, and I ask that you do the same in the comments.
  • I hate Shae. I hate her to death. I will go on and on about how much I hate her. I will not show her mercy. She is a horrible, annoying person. Other characters I kind of dislike: Sansa, Bran, Jon Snow... really, most of the Stark children minus Arya, come to think of it. I don't hate them, they're just on my "ehh" list. I guess I don't have an opinion on Rickon, but it is impossible to form an opinion on him because he's practically invisible.
  • I love Joffrey! He's the best at being a jerk. In my dreams he throws Shae off the wall of the Red Keep. Other characters I like: Bronn, Cersei, Ygritte, the Hound, Jaime, Maester Pycelle, Varys, Littlefinger, Ser Jorah, Ser Barristan, Davos, and Hobor obvs. 
  • I am indifferent to Dany! I know there are a lot of Dany obsessors out there and I get it. She's a princess and she burns things down. But she really needs to stop freeing slaves and start learning how to cross an ocean. 
  • I will complain about Game of Thrones at times but please know that I really, really like the show! It's like when your parents get mad at you for eating all their food. They do it out of love. 

Okay, now that all that's out of the way, let's get started. "Two Swords" wasn't a super eventful episode, but it didn't need to be. Game of Thrones is a heavy, meaty show, and sometimes it's best to ease the audience back into things and let everyone spend the hour asking questions like, "Wait, what's that guy's name again?," "Have we seen those breasts before?," and "Where's Robb Stark?" I'm sure some of you spent the off-season re-watching the entire series, but David Benioff and D.B. Weiss know that most viewers need a little help, so "Two Swords" was full of reminders. And the biggest reminder of them all was that everyone is totally miserable because this world is cruel and doesn't care if you've had a bad day. Hey, those Game of Thrones characters, they're just like us! And now let's talk about what happened in "Two Swords"...



"I murdered people so I could be here with you." —Jaime Lannister

It was nice to see those dysfunctional Lannisters still up to their old tricks. Incest! Animal cruelty! Pompousness! I love them. And in the first scene of the episode, Tywin Lannister was making two swords in his apartment's forge, because every Hand of the King deserves a two-bedroom pad complete with a weapon-making station. I'm sure there was some symbolism I was supposed to pick up on, but all I really saw was an old man smithing some blades. And don't ask me to confirm what he threw on the fire because it was dark and I couldn't really tell. As you know, Tywin loves to go heavy on the symbolism in his mutilation of animal parts (when we first met him, he was gutting a stag, remember?), so if I had to guess, I'd say he threw the corpse of a platypus, the sigil of House Johnson, into the flames. Now it's so obvious! The Lannisters are going to war with the Johnsons! (J/K it sure looked like a wolf pelt, didn't it? A direwolf pelt, perhaps?)

We'd soon find out that those swords were forged from Valaryian steel, the Cadillac of steel in Westeros. And if I had to guess again, I'd wager that it was Ned Stark's blade, Ice, that was melted down into a pair of smaller swords. Oh right, Ned Stark is dead. Thanks for reminding me, show. Sigh. Tywin gave Jaime one of the two new blades and did that thing that disappointed dads do when they present their sons gifts by backhanding him a few times with some harsh words. First, Tywin offered to let Jaime rule Casterly Rock while Tywin serves as Hand of the King, but really he just wanted to get Jaime out of King's Landing. Jaime refused, because that's like being offered the role of Philadelphia mayor when you can be the New York City comptroller. No thanks! Philly's a nice place to visit and all, but New York City. Jaime also didn't want to leave the love of his life, his sister (bleh!), so he politely declined through gritted teeth and then Tywin called him a useless cripple with no family. 

Jaime would later try to get some from Cersei, but Cersei acted like a total See You Next Tuesday toward him, guilting Jaime for being gone too long. She did give him a golden hand to fit over his stump, but that might have been her way of telling Jaime to take care of himself now that he has Old Righty back. Jaime said he murdered people to get back to Cersei as fast as he could and how did she respond? "You took too long." Brrrrr. It was COLD in there.

Poor Jaime got pooped on by his dad and his sister-lover, and for what? Getting captured and not escaping fast enough? That's a raw deal for Jaime, if you ask me. The guy was on the road forever, he lost a hand, and he had his head shaved, and how is he welcomed back? With an invitation to GTFO of King's Landing from his dad, and a refusal to give him some nookie from his own sibling. Welcome home, Jaime! I hope Jaime unscrews his golden hand and smacks Cersei across the face with it before the season's over, or at the very least cuts off all the fingers except the middle one and is constantly flipping the bird to repay everyone for their "thanks." 

One other tiny detail we gleaned from Jaime and Cersei's portion of the program: An unlicensed Maester was treating Cersei for something, the symptoms of which have abated. So what was it? To the polls! 


"Tell your father I'm here, and tell him the Lannisters aren't the only ones who pay their debts." —Oberyn Martell

Elsewhere in the capital, Tyrion—along with Bronn and Tyrion's squire Podrick Payne—was sent to greet Prince Doran Martell of Dorne, who was supposed to attend Joffrey and Margaery's wedding. Doran of Dorne? Isn't that like naming your kid Amorica? Anyway, quick little geography lesson for you: Dorne is at the Southeast tip of the Seven Kingdoms, about as far from Winterfell as you can get and still be in Westeros. It's closer to the equator, so Dornes have nice tans and drink a lot of wine. I think of Dorne as Spain.

But Doran of Dorne didn't show up because he was sick, sending his little brother Oberyn in his place. And if you need a hint as to Oberyn's "I don't give a f*ck" attitude, it turned out he'd arrived in King's Landing the day before, without telling anyone, because he's rude.   

And how about this Oberyn fella? Like all good Game of Thrones characters, we met him just as he was about to get his rocks off, which he's apparently very famous for. He was in one of Littlefinger's pleasure houses examining the goods as if he was at the farmer's market, squeezing melons and pulling back the husks of the whores. The scene provided another round of the questionable nudity that Game of Thrones is known for. Oberyn was accompanied by Ellaria Sand, his "paramour," which is Dornish for girlfriend, basically, and she was down for pretty much anything. But before Oberyn could get going with a bisexual ménage a four, he was distracted by some singing in the next room, and that's when we learned that Oberyn doesn't really like Lannisters. 

Tyrion and Oberyn had a little chat, which served to provide some backstory that will be key to understanding Oberyn as a character. Oberyn's sister married Rhaegar Targeryen, but she was raped and then murdered during Robert Baratheon's takeover of King's Landing. And the worst part? Her kids were also slain during the rebellion. Oberyn is still pretty upset about that, and he's in town not to celebrate the beautiful love between Joffrey and Margaery, but to repay some debts to Tywin and the Mountain, who did the rapin' and murderin' of his sister. And he had no problem basically telling Tyrion that was his plan. Umm, this guy is kind of awesome already? 



"You need to relax." —Shae

Ugh, Shae. This insecure bonehead was hovering over Sansa trying to get her to eat, but Sansa was not a grief eater and refused everything. She even passed up lemon cakes. I know for a fact that Sansa would eat her way out of a moat full of lemon cakes and then dive back in for more, so either she's on a crash diet or there's something very wrong with her. And as Tyrion found out, it's the Red Wedding that still has her with a case of the grumps. I guess I would be a little bummed too if my dad, mom, brother, sister-in-law, unborn niece/nephew, and dog were murdered by my husband's family, but maybe that's just me and Sansa.

Anyway, Shae still has the nerve to be insanely jealous of Sansa despite the marriage obviously being a total wreck and the result of political maneuvering and punishment. Get over yourself, Shae. You should be happy you aren't giving handjobs to fat knights in Littlefinger's palace o' pleasure. Yet there she was whining about Tyrion not being there for her. Of course Tyrion isn't going to bed you with that attitude. And was she trying to get herself killed? She knows the rules, she can't be seen in Tyrion's crib or they're both in trouble. And what do you know, a spy happened to see her leave and told Cersei. Jump off a cliff, Shae, and save everyone the trouble. I just pity the afterlife when Shae shows up. Sorry ghosts, but we didn't want her on this plane of mortal existence either.

Sansa would later have a run in with Ser Drunkard, who you may remember as Ser Dontos from the Season 3 premiere. He was the guy that chugged a barrel of wine under Joffrey's orders and then puked all over the place. Not his finest hour. But Sansa saved his life that day by telling Joffrey he was a dick, and Dontos repaid her with a necklace. Whoopdeedoo! Still, it's nice to see that Sansa has found someone in the kingdom who doesn't hate her. 



"My word!" —Olenna "Queen of Thorns" Tyrell

Not a whole lot to talk about here, but I just wanted to use that quote because the Queen of Thorns' reaction to seeing the behemoth fashion disaster that is Brienne was hilarious. She acted as though she'd just seen Sasquatch. And not just Sasquatch, but Sasquatch wearing a brown leather top and a turquoise skirt. That outfit would've been laughed out of Burning Man! Anyway, I love Brienne, but she can get a bit too chatty about her promises and Renly's death. Spend less time blathering on about those subjects and more time looking in the mirror before you leave the house, Brienne! 



"Your dragons, Khaleesi, they can never be tamed. Not even by their mother." —Ser Jorah Mormont

But you know who does know how to dress? Khaleesi, that's who! Dany looked great as usual, her hair done all perfect and her spotless wardrobe fitting her like a glove. I can't take two steps beyond my front door without getting mud on my shirt, but this girl treks miles through deserts and lets dragons rest their drooling, lamb's-blood-caked heads on her lap and she still looks like she just left the salon! It's a good thing her Unsullied are eunuchs, because otherwise they'd all have broken necks from checking her out and saying, "Daaaaaamn girrrrrrrl!" 

Dany's dragons (name refresher: Drogon, Rhaegal, and Viserion) are all growed-up now and they're pretty nasty, tossing lamb corpses around and snapping at each other like they're jackals. Not only are they as big as elephants, they have an "I do what I want" attitude, which might cause problems in the future as Ser Jorah Buzzkill (a.k.a. Lord Friend Zone) was quick to point out. 

Anyway, later in the episode, Dany went looking for Daario because OMG he's so cute do you think he likes me? And where was that troublemaker? Gambling with Greyworm! And how do you gamble in the wastelands of Essos with no dice, playing cards, or dwarves to toss? You balance your blade on your outstretched arms for as long as you can. Dany saw this and was so over it that she didn't even flinch when she saw that Daario'd had a face transplant and gone from looking like a moon-faced underwear model to looking like a guy from Nashville. That's how blindly in love she is with the dude, she can't even see his face! But that's not the only romance blooming on this long journey of slave-freeing and enslaver-burning. Daario caught Greyworm giving Missandei the "How YOU doin'?" look, too.

Daario flirted with Dany by coming up with a smooth way to hand Dany a bunch of flowers: He used the gesture as an excuse to teach her about the lands she was about to take by force. And it worked! Dany all but felt the THWACK of Cupid's arrow hitting her in the rump. If Dany's story this season turns out to be a bunch of fluttery eyes and pickup lines, then I hope Drogon goes nuts and turns everyone into a pile of ash. The dead girls as mile markers were cool, but I'm worried that Dany might be poised to spend another season wasting time on love instead of setting shit on fire. How much will it cost to Kickstart a campaign to get Dany to Westeros, like, now



"If we beheaded every ranger who lay with a girl, the Wall would be manned by headless men." —Maester Aemon 

My favorite part of "Two Swords" happened up North with the Wildlings. I know this show doesn't need more plots going on, but I'm glad we're sticking with these ragtag barbaric nomads after Jon Snow left them because they're the coolest. And we definitely don't need any new characters, but ummm... HELLO THENN! They're like a cross between the kid from Powder and the dudes from Prometheus, they're assholes, and they eat people. And they have a Worg? And now Ygritte and Tormund have to travel with these guys? I'm usually busy taking notes while I'm watching Game of Thrones but all I could do during this scene was watch in awe. I would not be sad if the Thenn sucked the marrow out of Samwell's bones in the finale and I can't wait to see the Thenn cosplay at Comic-Con and say, "What up Prometheus dudes!" just to piss 'em off. 

Over at Castle Black, Jon Snow bemoaned Robb's death (more mourning over dead siblings, sheesh) and then stood before a council of Night's Watch old folk. We've always been led to believe that the rules of the Night's Watch are steadfast—no sleeping with women, no abandoning your post, no farting—but Jon readily admitted that he killed Qoran Halfhand and banged a Wildling broad, and he got off without so much as a rap on the snout with a rolled-up newspaper or raven-poop clean-up duty. And you know why? Because Maester Aemon is boss. He may be as old as the Wall, but he's the most progressive of the bunch. "If we beheaded all the dudes who banged shorties, we'd be nobodies," he said (okay I may've paraphrased a bit). And Jon had plenty of scoop for the council that will be helpful when it comes to staying alive. The new question is whether or not Mance Rayder's troops will stick with their plan now that they know Jon Snow was a mole. 


"Fuck the king." —the Hound

Arya and the Hound continued their long zig-zag across the kingdom looking for trouble, and ended up coming across an inn where Polliver, the Lannister bannerman who stuck Arya's pal Lommy with Arya's sword, was supping. Arya's got a list of people she needs to exterminate, and when you're on that list and you come across Arya, you will die because Arya is like Damien from The Omen. She's cute and all, but I would not want to meet her in a dark alley. Polliver recognized the Hound and the two had a nice chat about chickens that turned into talk of child rape, as conversations in the countryside tend to do. Well the Hound is down with child murder, but he draws the line at child rape and after downing a mug of ale on an empty stomach, he was buzzed enough to take on five men and kicked their asses in a fantastically visceral fight scene that honestly didn't look too great on HBO's screeners (sorry HBO but you know it's true). Arya snuck into the fray to mop up once all the dangers were taken care of, and she quoted Polliver's death speech to Lommy when she killed him herself. What kind of child remembers a death speech and then repeats it back to the dude who killed her friend? A psychopath, that's who! I don't know about you but I'm worried about her. However, the only real happy thing to happen in this episode was that Arya got her own horse and the Hound devoured a chicken. The lesson here? Happiness comes from slaughtering others. That's the Game of Thrones I like. I missed you, show!



WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS

Each week, I'll rank the episodes of Season 4 from best to worst. But remember, these are just my opinions! Feel free to post your own in the comments!


This week:
 "Two Swords" welcomed us back to Game of Thrones with training wheels, without throwing too much new stuff at us. But it was a thrill to have the show back and to watch the political machinations start to turn again. 


1. "Two Swords" (Episode 1)




NOTES FROM THE RAVENS

– If Jaime got one of the Valaryian swords, who gets the other? Is it a wedding gift for Joffrey? What a great present for a coward who will hide behind hay bales during an actual fight. 

– All that "Mhysa mhysa mhysa" stuff gets on my nerves for some reason. I guess because it reminds me of that terrible finale story for Dany last season, when she crowd surfed.  

– It was cute how Arya thought Polliver recognized her, when he actually recognized the Hound. It wasn't the first time that'd happened with Arya; when Lannister men came looking for Gendry, she thought they were after her too. Arya, stop being so conceited. It's not all about you. 

– Why is Winterfell still appearing in the credits sequence? It's a pile of rubble and no one is there. Let's move on, credits!

– I love Cersei, and I loved that she said Pycelle smells like dead cats. And she called Loras a pillowbiter. Her whole sourpuss speech was amazing, and Lena Headey's performance is excellent. Can we give her some sort of award, please? 

– How can I get that statue of Joffrey for my office? I will pay good money for it. 

– So, Jaime Lannister is 40 years old, and Jeff Winger from Community is 40 years old, too? Big revelations on the 4-0 front this week. 


What'd you think of Game of Thrones' return?


Previously Aired Episode

AIRED ON 6/26/2016

Season 6 : Episode 10

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I dont like the part that the brother never tried to talk to each other when the nightwatch raid the nightwatch rebel
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Wasn't Cersei and Pycel really tight in previous seasons? Like, he did her scheming for her and stuff? Or is it now that she is being replaced as queen regent they are on the outs? Anyway I thought they used to be in cahoots so I'm unsure what happened there, did I miss a conversation?

Also, I do vaguely remember this new non-maester dude, but where did they pick him up again? Was he at the Dreadfort helping Jamie with his stump at first?

Lastly, I thought the place Aria's swordsman was from first season was more the Spain place? Makes sense as it's across the sea. Due to how far south Dorn was, and the talk of goats, and I guess some of the more racist remarks, it seemed more middle-easty? Again, Arias fencing coach seemed particularly "Spanish" to me. Is he definitely dead?
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I just one someone to tell me if we're ever gonna know what happened to the Blackfish.
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I disagree there was not a lot to talk about regarding Brienne meeting the Tyrells. It was one of my favourite scene. When Olenna shouted "My Words" you could see Brienne bracing herself for the usual comments regarding her appearance - and subsequently being utterly thrown by the blunt praise the old woman threw at her. It was a delightful yet potent understated moment (and you gotta love Brienne's quick little proud smile when Olenna mentions her winning the fight with Loras). Olenna seeing the true worth of Brienne makes sense. She is the one who sees beyond all the veils and the deceptions. She would see Brienne for exactly what she is: an exceptional woman. And I don't think Brienne's outfit was a fashion disaster. It was exactly what Brienne would be wearing. An uneasy mix of masculine (the leather jerkin) and feminine clothing (the trouser-skirt). The blue is, I suspect one of the colour of House Tarth. I thought the discussion with Margaery about Renly was interesting. Margaery's body language was pretty warm and friendly towards someone who was once accused of killing her former husband. Did she believe Brienne's shadow story? Maybe Margaery is in a way grateful Renly is dead - thus avoiding a lifetime of boredom with a husband who would never have loved her. So maybe she no longer cares how he died or who killed him. Or maybe she knows Brienne well enough to know she is straight as an arrow and if she says there was a shadow, then there was a shadow. I enjoy how the Tyrell have brought this feminine sisterly power along with them. I always assumed Margaery was manipulating Sansa and could not give a chicken's ass about her (since chickens are the animals of the week, I'll go along with it, eh). But in an interview Natalie Dormer said Margaery felt sorry for Sansa and was protective of her because she knew exactly how it felt like to be in Sansa's situation. All this puts Cersei - the only one who senses the Tyrells ladies may not be the delightful, harmless do-gooders they pretend to be - in an increasingly isolated position which, depending how you feel about Cersei, can either be rewarding or heartbreaking. You mark my words, in the Game of Thrones, the Tyrell household is making its way to the top one disarming smile at a time.
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There does definitely seem to be a power shift from male to female in Westoros - Dany being the obvious, but also Melisandre has Stannis firmly under the thumb, Cersei is struggling to keep her position of power and control of the king, against the Tyrell ladies who are manipulating the king and kingdom (while being vastly underestimated by the male power players), Theon's sister is commanding the fleet of the Iron Islands and Arya has her sword back and is on her way to become more of a player and less of a pawn. Brienne became Jaime's only support during their travels while he was injured, so that when she lectures him on oaths and honour in King's Landing, he (grudgingly) listens to what she has to say rather than just dismissing it out of hand - she now has his respect, and has become a bit of a role model for the Kingslayer and Oathbreaker, who had given up the idea that he might ever be able to serve with honour again.
Weirdly, even Sansa has unintentionally won over Tyrion and gained a small amount of power over him, causing him to give up other women including Shae. And without giving away any spoilers, there are more powerful women to come.
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Very good points! I agree the Tyrell women are vastly underestimated. And yes, Jaime found in Brienne a sounding board for what "honour" really means and what it entails. I think his priorities are shifting now that his relationship with his sister has changed - Cersei being fairly disgusted by his stump and bearing a grudge for his lengthy absence - and as you said Brienne has in the meantime become his role model.

However, Cersei now has Brienne firmly in her bullseye and if I were Jamie I would worry about that.
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I normally hate when they suddenly change an actor partway through, especially when they don't even try to make them look even close to being the same, that kind of inconsistency annoys the hell out of me. but I also didn't like the old Daario he was too pretty-boy for a mercenary. they've kind of gone from one extreme to the other with new Daario looking a bit scruffy. His description in the books would have been pretty ridiculous on screen, I understand why they didn't use it, but I at least expected a toned-down version, like a dark-blue haired piratey look.

Scene in Littlefinger's brothel:
Tyrion: "I can't. I'm married."
Oberyn's expression: "what f**king difference does that make?"
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In a way, it was very diplomatic of him to say "you know what? It's all good, let's all have an orgy together and bury the hatchet." I think Tyrion batted away a very important olive branch on that day..
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This was a good premiere, but I hate the new Daario. I liked Shae before, but her constant nagging and jealousy is starting to irritate quite a lot.
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Great to back into GoT!! I'm already liking Oberyn. The Hound had some funny lines and Arya is becoming deadly!!
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The Hound, a man of few words, and the few he speaks cut deeper than his sword.

Arya is savage, I'm into book 4 now and she gets worse, or, depending on how you look at it, better. I would love it if one of the things that happens towards the end/in the finale is Arya sticking Needle through Cersei's throat, that would be brilliant, especially if she was the last person on the list that she recites before she goes to sleep.
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haha that would be excellent!!!!
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How good was The Hound's sudden channelling of Omar Little: "A man's got to have a code".
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A Game of Thrones recap filler episode is still better than everything else on Tv.
Oberyn Arya and Hound stole the show.
Tyrion is still funny but he seems weary. I liked Shae in season 1 and 2 but she is beginning to act like a character off the CW
Jaime and Cersei gross but oh so hilarious

The Jaime hand wave was the moment of the ep.

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Jaime hand wave AND "What the fuck's a lommy?" - moments of the ep. On par with each other.
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Cant argue with that, everything that came out of The Hounds mouth was epic.
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For me season one and two and the first part of three were watched in quick succession once I realised what I was missing.
Having read the books in the interval it's strange watching the show now and having to keep my mouth shut every time someone posits a theory about what will happen to certain characters...
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I have an internal debate going on: on one hand, I really want Cersei to have Shae killed now that she knows, but I also don't want to have to watch Tyrion moping. Badass Tyrion is better than whiny Tyrion, and I don't think I'd be very sympathetic to his grief over her.
Thoughts on possible solutions?
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I just want Cersei to met Brienne. That's all

If Tyrion meets Brienne too, that's a plus.
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Yes! I didn't even know I wanted this, but now it's all I can think about.
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Holy crap Oberyn is awesome.
Also, this episode might have been the first time I liked Jon Snow -- and believe me, I tried for three seasons.
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– If Jaime got one of the Valaryian swords, who gets the other? Is it a wedding gift for Joffrey? What a great present for a coward who will hide behind hay bales during an actual fight.

Let the King of Casterley Rock one. Why give it to Joffrey??? Why??? All he knows is to shoot using that arrow of his. He doesn't need a sword. Add on to his cowardliness during better. An imp can do better in battle because at least his imp uncle tried. Boy, I remembered how useless he was in the battle.


– All that "Mhysa mhysa mhysa" stuff gets on my nerves for some reason. I guess because it reminds me of that terrible finale story for Dany last season, when she crowd surfed.

I think the progress with Dany and her dragons would be more overwhelming and nerve-wrecking.

– It was cute how Arya thought Polliver recognized her, when he actually recognized the Hound. It wasn't the first time that'd happened with Arya; when Lannister men came looking for Gendry, she thought they were after her too. Arya, stop being so conceited. It's not all about you.

Come on. It is ok to always keep her guard up. The young Starks do not post much of a threat to those politicians. Therefore, they are not giving a damn about it. Arya, is alway on the run. She would be foolish if she does not from time to time be on a look out. She is smart. The conceited one in the Stark's family? That would be Sansa. Which brought her faith like this today.

– Why is Winterfell still appearing in the credits sequence? It's a pile of rubble and no one is there. Let's move on, credits!

Nostalgic. Winterfell is my favourite place in the series. Everytime the credit sequence showed the ruined place, I will always remind myself that Weirwood is there still standing. I will always have hope that Winterfell will be prosperous again.

– I love Cersei, and I loved that she said Pycelle smells like dead cats. And she called Loras a pillowbiter. Her whole sourpuss speech was amazing, and Lena Headey's performance is excellent. Can we give her some sort of award, please?

Disagree. I hate btches=Cersei. This has proven how great Lena is.

– How can I get that statue of Joffrey for my office? I will pay good money for it.

Then I'll be the statue to the grounds and be-headed him like what he did to Ned Stark.

– So, Jaime Lannister is 40 years old, and Jeff Winger from Community is 40 years old, too? Big revelations on the 4-0 front this week.

No comment. Jaime seems to lost his confidence when he lost his right hand, which lost his right to weld a sword.

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I could watch a spin off about Arya and The Hound just road trippin' across Westeros finding danger and loot.
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And with Arya slaying people like she did in this episode ...
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"What's wrong with you leg, boy ?" Arya FTW !
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I'm pretty sure Brienne was doing more than wearing clothes. There was plot happening.
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I think what we saw this week was more like a precursor to plotting for plot.
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First of all, let me state that I have read all of GRRM books, so I know the story pretty well. That said, I love this show and the differences in the plot do not bother me at all.
Secondly, I loved the episode, it was a great way to open the season. The only moment that was ridiculous to the point of making me want to scream was the sword moment.
Let me explain - The sword shown was indeed "Ice", the Valirian blade of Ned Stark, with a sheath of direwolf skin. If you do not remember Season 1, the sword was given to the King's Justice ( the guy without tongue) and used to behead Ned Stark. I t has nothing to do with Rob Stark's blade.
The ridiculous part was melting the sword and then founding the new blades. Good steel should be forged and Valirian steel is supposed to be special. Founding steel is like founding plastic - the sword you get will be a piece of crap that will break with the first hit. And the idea that Valirian steel can be melted in a "home forge" is just insult to the story of the show - if it worked like that Valirian swords would as commonplace as shovels.
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I'd like to say that Jamie didn't just refuse to leave King's Landing when he refused his father, he also gave passed on being the ruler of one of the seven kingdoms and not because of Cercei but because he doesn't care about power.
Which of the other main characters would refuse a chance to rule?
Jamie's awesome!
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There is a great quote about that in the books and I don't know if they will use it in the show. One of Tywin's sisters (Jamie's aunt) tells Jaime, that he and Cersei are their mother's children and Tyrion is the real Lannister ( which opinion Tywin dismisses)
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I've been hoping for some time that they had been delaying the unveiling of some characters, but alas, I fear we may never meet the TV version of STRONG BELWAS! He would have some great scenes or would have! Maybe he is waiting at Meereen, missed the boat perhaps...

The episode was great, nice changes from the book - feels like a new story.
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He'll be introduced to us before the fight, surely.
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I found an article the other day, posted nearly a year ago, that Belwas will be omitted from the TV story.
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Oh no, I like Belwas. I think they've messed up, there's a few funny lines and scenes they could have had with him eating and stinking. Who will fight Oznak zo Pahl I wonder?
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He was already with Dany at Astopor in the book so like you said, he maybe isn't going to be in it at all. I agree, Dario or Greyworm are likely candidates to replace him, but it won't work like it does in the book willit? She chooses Belwas because he's expendable, she doesn't want to risk lossing anyone else, and Belwas is a former slave of Mereen so if he's defeeated it won't be a good victory or shameful defeat, but if he wins it will disgrace Oznak. They'll have so skip all that dialogue if it's Greyworm or Dario.
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Yeah, Belwas was always a nice bit of comic relief - even his name made me chuckle to begin with.

Greyworm or Daario for the fight I assume, Barristan and Jorah would surely be too old.
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NO HODOR.


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Little reminder: with Hodor comes Bran.
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First Poor Jamie Lannister. He went through all that in the last season to get home for what? his father thinks he is useless. Joffrey made a foul of him. His Insect sister doesn't want him anymore...i really think that at one point he is going to Flip out completely and start murdering everybody...

Jon Snow was cool this episode. More words came out of him. He was more secure about himself and what was coming. I liked him...he looked like a leader.

Khaleesi still loving her....but she has to watch out for her dragons...one was not happy with her for a moment...they are grewing and at some point do what they will....bur her army is impressive...and it is great to see our Dutch actor...(i am dutch)....Michiel Huisman...who is with Khaleesi and brought the flowers to her. At this point this season there are 4 dutch actors...we are so proud!!!

Poor Sansa....i don't know why, but i have a feeling that she will survive long...

Prins Oberyian...why did you stop undressing that gorgeous blond guy...damn damn damn!!!! That could have been fun!!! But i like him...he is bolt and arrogant in a good way...nice..

It was weird to see Brienne, normal again...so used to see her fighting and surviving..don't know who chose her clothing but it looked terrible..so not her...!! Wonder if she will be able to make sure that Jaime keep his promise to help out Sansa.

Arya and the Hound somehow ruled this episode. Somehow it became darker and loved loved how Arya killed that guy, by using his own words and actions against him...

So happy that it is back...!!!
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How do you know the sword was belong to Ned? I thought it was Rob's sword.. What did I miss?
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Its the same sword of Ned Stark, it was tainted with his blood in the previously of his execution.

Arya got Needle back and Jaime got half of Ice back.
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When Tywin said it was obscenely large, like Ice. Also they showed the sword in the previously on GoT.
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Ohh.. its the same sword :|
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It's so good to be watching this show again. As an individual who has read all the books and fanatically followed the show since its beginning I love being able to see it all unfold on the small screen. I will not put up any spoilers of what's to come but for those of you who haven't read the books, I'd highly recommend keeping an eye on Jon Snow and Prince Oberyn Martell.
As for the season opener, there has been a rare mistake / oversight with the swords forged in Tywin's quarters, though it's more of a continuity and chronological mistake. Shortly after Eddard Starks death, his Valyrian great-blade known as Ice is reforged into two swords, one for Joffrey and the other for the Hand (Tywin and then given to Jaimie). Before the amazing visuals in the battle for Blackwater Bay Joffrey paraded around his new sword (Hearteater or something?) which was one of the resultant blades. It's not much of a mistake I Know but this scene should have been done a lot sooner in the earlier seasons. Other than that, another perfect episode of a perfect adaptation.
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I haven't gotten that far in the books yet, but Jon Snow is the first person I thought of during that history lesson from Prince Oberyn. I'm excited to see where his story goes.
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- Joffrey's new sword is mentioned in Season 2 episode 9, though its connection to Ice is sorely missing...SIGH...He is such a d**k!!
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I hope Jaime unscrews his golden hand and smacks Cersei across the face with it before the season's over, or at the very least cuts off all the fingers except the middle one and is constantly flipping the bird to repay everyone for their "thanks." - I am picturing this and I'm cackling :') Love it.

On the one hand, I want whatever Cersei's suffering from to be fatal. On the other, I just love to hate that bitch and she always delivers the LOLs so......you can stay for now Cersei. But don't get comfortable.

He was in one of Littlefinger's pleasure houses examining the goods as if he was at the farmer's market, squeezing melons and pulling back the husks of the whores. - My first thought,


I like this Oberyn fellow so far. However I kept thinking a young Antonio Banderas could have played this and looked much better doing it. Alas. I can ride with this guy. Don't disappoint me sir, or you'll be joining Cersei.

I hate Shae. I hate her to death. I will go on and on about how much I hate her. I will not show her mercy. She is a horrible, annoying person. - Tim, you shall get no complaints from me. I HATE THIS DUMB HOE! That is all.

"My word!" —Olenna "Queen of Thorns" Tyrell - LMAO! &3 Lady O sfm. She's a treasure and we must all bask in her radiance and light.

I love Brienne but she really needs to forget about Renly and focus on all that hawt right in front her face. And speaking of Ser Jaime, their scene was great. Loved the banter. Jaime/Brienne shippers, did you squee a little when he asked if she's sure she isn't a Lannister? I legit said "Not yet" out loud LOL.

Not only are they as big as elephants, they have an "I do what I want" attitude, which might cause problems in the future as Ser Jorah Buzzkill (a.k.a. Lord Friend Zone) was quick to point out. - How is it that The Mother of Dragons can't handle her "children"? I had a dog that snapped at me once, I checked his ass real quick and he never did it again. Then again he was just a rottweiler and he wasn't the size of an elephant so.... *shrugs* Good luck Dany.

As for NuDaario, meh. I'm not feeling him. Say what you want about OgDaario's looks, but player had swag. This new one, he looks okay but everything from his clothes to his.....just his general presence. It feels off and he seems out of place. It's only been 1 ep so he's still got a chance to impress me.

...I can't wait to see the Thenn cosplay at Comic-Con and say, "What up Prometheus dudes!" just to piss 'em off. - LOL Tim. DO IT and PLEASE tell us what happens LMAO!!!

Also, I can't be the only one thinking that The Thenns must be related Hannibal right? I mean....



Yeah, I'm NEVER going to their house for dinner O.O

Because Maester Aemon is boss. - You tell no lies. When he hit them with the "I grew up in King's Landing" I was all YASSS! School these fools.


I've been a Jon Snow fan from the very start of the show and Kit Harrington was great in this ep. Jon is really edgy now and I love it. I hope it lasts. He straight checked that dude "You must not have been very good at your job" BOOM in the face!

Arya and The Hound - FLOVE IT! I said it when they paired up last season - the two of them together, this road trip should be full of shenanigans and LOLs. They did not disappoint.


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Oh Hound LMAO!

Welcome back show indeed.

Notes:
- I was wondering about the other sword as well. In fact, at first I thought Tywin was gonna add the whole sword to the Throne but then he had made two so... He'll probably give the other to Joffrey's bitch ass for real. What a waste.

- Yeah that "Mhysa" business is tired. Come on, y'all have been traveling together for weeks. Hasn't the novelty worn off yet? She freed you, I get it. Can we focus on something else now? How about a game of "I spy" or a rousing rendition of "99 bottles"?

- Tim, take your own advice. Leave Arya alone. She is THAT bitch O.O

- Is Winterfell a pile of rubble though? They burnt it but the stone parts can still be standing can't they? Hmm.

- Cersei. I told ya, I love to hate that bitch. All the awards to Lena Headey.

- That Joffrey statue, *smdh*. I had to rewind just to make sure I saw what I thought I saw. And when they cut to him in the next scene, lol. What was that stance? Boy stop.

- That's a good looking 40. Mmm :D

Another good moment:





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These two knuckleheads along with Tyrion, &3 LOL!
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LOL. I also cracked up laughing at that exchange between Arya and the Hound. I love when he says, "F**k the king." It's so perfect and to the point.
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LOL!!! That man is perfect.
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Arya and The Hound should have their own spin off.

The only thing missing was Joffrey looking at his former sworn shield guarding Arya.
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I love the Hound and Aria they were badass this ep. Cersei has found a new lover methinks. Things look bad for Tyrion once that girl blabs.
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I have confidence that Tyrion can once again weasel out of any problems arising from the spy report. But then again.....he IS dealing with Cersei....and Tywin....and Joffrey. Oh dear. He's fucked. And he acted like a good boy, too, and told Shae to beat it!
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I was really hoping that girly ass cousin of theirs was going to come through the door, not the spy hand maiden. I can't wait for Jaime to find out about him! Drama!
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Yeah Cersei has needs and they involve men. Naive Jaime is gonna find out though and maybe be with Brienne instead.
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Great review Tim! This episode laid a lot of ground work for what is coming. Loved Arya and the Hound. Prince Oberyn is a BAMF. Jaime is changing. Can someone give Jack Gleeson (Joffery) a nomination of sorts? He plays the most hated character to perfection. Did anyone else go "Aaaawwwweeee" when Dani was petting Drogon?
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This episode kinda felt like a setup for more awesome things to come, it gave a great recap of last season and we caught up with our favorite and less favorite characters, this episode kinda felt like an high school reunion because we got to know what every character has been up to since the last time we saw them which seems like forever.


What's was left of the remaining starks were dealing with the aftermath of the red wedding , sansa couldn't eat lemon cakes, jon snow was having a trial after he pretty much broke every rule possible in the nights watch and couldn't care less which was awesome , "yeah I killed qhorin halfhand and I slept with a women, deal with it you bunch of old crows" that's pretty much how it went down , and aria was busy gettingsmall revenge and needle back and pretty much being the best with her better half the hound and bran …who the hell knows he was somewhere touching a tree probably.


The lannisters were busy doing their own thing meaning trying to pass the time in kings landing tywin made swords , cersei was busy making a hand for jamie, joffrey was actually reading a book !!! and tyrion was busy putting out fires everywhere. I feel so bad for Jamie he spent like what almost two seasons trying to get back to kings landing and that's is welcome party poor dude, honestly maybe he should rethink staying in kings landing maybe everyone should rethink staying in kings landing , ned stark should have definitely done that and his sword.


Over across the sea danny was walking her unsullied army in what seems like forever now , I'm all about getting her in kings landing already just to see tywin look on his face when he sees her dragons, that would be a jaw dropping moment but I'm guessing it's not going to happen anytime soon.


I like the new dornish characters they will definitely add some spice to the mix, I can't wait for the next episode and tim I love your reviews.



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and Bad Dragon! Bad!


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this scene was utterly stupendous. to those who are saying that the episode was a drag or a bore, i'm thinking.....wtf? amazing dragon scene, amazing intro of oberyn at the bordelllo, amazing intro of effing cannibal spook people......just for starters. i suspect some folks are simply taking too many painkillers to watch the show. it's gotta be pills......vicodin, oxy, xanax, etc......
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Scary.
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dont know about you guys, but does the Hound and Arya duo reminds you of




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Hahaha, love it. Great comparison
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This is amazing!!!
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Perfect!
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Arya became a true killer just as they always say " the first time is the hardest" This time she enjoyed it. Is there truth in what the hound said about killing? I don't know and I don't wanna know but it is true for Arya.
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arya is getting in touch with her inner killer......which, in Westeros, is a survivalist advantage.
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Not impressed.
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I don't really have any commentary for this episode or really any Game of Thrones episode. Perhaps a WTF just happened question or two, because I forgot how much hard work is involved just keeping up with this show.

It's been a while, but I was quickly reminded of just how much MORE GoT is than pretty much every other show on TV not called True Detective. As was mentioned, this "wasn't a super eventful episode". It recapped and updated/introduced 7 major plot points with what has got to be 20 "lead" actors...and that doesn't include the 2-3 other arcs that weren't touched on. Putting aside the acting, writing, direction & cinematography which are all top notch, any show that's considered good could only dream of having half many story arcs with half as many actors and maintain half the quality.

I'm also recalling why watching on the computer is a must because of the number of times I need to pause, pull up a GoT Wiki and remind myself of who's who, and what the hell they're talking about.
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Nice review Tim. We're on different character bandwagons, but the review was way more than 2% funny.

Tyrian is my vote for most unused to their potential, although everyone, other then Arya and The Hound were pretty mellow this ep. I'm not worried about her. I'm hoping she will be the one who avenges her father by putting the little twerps head on a pike.

Speaking of Joffrey, could it possibly be his bun that Madam Incest is carrying. That makes me a bit pukey even thinking that, but I wouldn't put it past her. Obviously I haven't read the books, so I'm just making crap up as I go.

I think the introduction of the new characters was good. I'd be less likely to call them the "Prometheus Dudes" than The Gobblers of House Lecter.

Daario: "I'd rather have no brains...and have two balls". Great line.

Last thought, let's go ahead and put Oberyn and Stumpy Lanister in the arena, because I have the feeling it will be Jamie, not Tywin who shows them self as the true Lanister warrior against that maniac.




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Actually she was sexing up their cousin, Lancel last season (the cup bearer who helped to kill Robert). Tyrion threatened to reveal the truth to Jaime upon his return if Lancel didn't spy on Cersei for him. It's still incest, just not the icky Oedipus levels and since we've already seen Jaime kill one cousin, I can't wait to see what he does to that wimp.
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It's gotta be worse than incest to commit incest with your own child of incest. I wonder what that's called?
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Thanks for the refresher. I totally forgot that.
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It's truly a testament of how far this show now needs to go to shock and awe us that I haven't seen a single mention either in the review/recap or the comments about crucified children on the road to Meereen.

Still think Dany should get on the express train to Westeros?

#breakerofchains
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i loved the one strand of sling used to prop up the finger that points the way to Meereen. Nice detail.....
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"The dead girls as mile markers were cool"
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D'oh! OK, fair catch, my eyes glazed over this one but I stand by my point that were this season one crucified kids would be getting a lot more attention, and not a throwaway line.
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Surely now that Breaking Bad is finished Game of Thrones stands alone as the only truly consistently great show currently on TV. As every episode ends you truly feel sated in terms of quality television. Another fantastic episode that served as a scattershot across many stories and characters, so many in fact that it wasn't noticeable that Stannis and Theon were absent.

And what a perfect opening scene to welcome us back to Westeros, Tywin performing one final act to solidify an unwelcome truth: The Starks are done. Ned's beloved great sword which he would once sit honing beneath the Weirwood in Winterfell's godswood is melted down to serve Tywin's long desire to have a Valyrian steel sword in the family. The slow backround music of "The Rains of Castamere" and that last shot of Tywin looking down with authority really drove home what we all know, this man is cunning, ruthless and above all a winner.

Tywin and Jaime performed some verbal sparring, with the big lion set on getting Jaime back to Casterly Rock to serve the house. But as we've witnessed Jaime has changed, and he seemingly no longer fits with the rest of his family. Not even his beloved sister who seems to have changed as well, or perhaps it's something in Jaime that she sees is changed, besides his golden waving appendage.

Oberyn Martell's introduction was handled brilliantly, immediately showing his seeming arrogance and then (with the help of some ignorant Lannister men) his deadly abilities with a weapon. I loved how Tyrion's arrival party scene as well as the rest of the time with Oberyn quickly demonstrated that Dornish are a different people, something which could be tricky with an already large amount of people to keep track of. It's clear that Oberyn is not someone to get on the wrong side of, unfortunately for the Mountain and through him Tywin they are already on his bad side and he seeks vengeance for his sister, niece and nephew's brutal murder at the end of Robert's war.

We got our bit of time with Dany, the true slowburner story. The dragons are getting along nicely and I enjoyed the words from Jorah illustrating that whilst they love Dany they are their own entities and will never be pets. The only other purpose of the time spent with Dany was for illustrate two points: She has a ton of soldiers and this new guy is now Daario from before (just go with it, he's already way better).

Sansa continues in her zombified desolated world state, and although Tyrion actually gave good advice on what Catelyn would want she still can't see past his last name. There were three minor characters back in this episode, the first was the drunkard Ser Dontos who turned up with a necklace for Sansa, I had wondered if they were going to skip this but will leave it at that (I am interested as to what people made of this scene).

Shae had her standard moan and bitch at Tyrion for things outside his control. And what is worse the stupid woman was overheard by a little handmaid last seen scurrying to Cersei. I agree, Shae is the worst.

Some new (and weirdly marked) faces appeared in the shape of the Thenns. I really enjoyed this scene as whilst they (eventually) appear in the books, there isn't much known about them really so it was interesting to see something the show could elaborate a bit more on and take some invention with. Also the Magnar of Thenn (a lord in their system, unlike other wildlings they do have a system) also made Tormund look tiny and was pretty clearly a dangerous man. "Thenns, I fucking hate Thenns" - Tormund.

Mopey old Jon Snow was dealing with bureaucracy and a quite comedic trial. Aemon of course being the intelligent one and Mallister being his normal envious arse but with our old friend Janos Slynt (number two of minor returns) providing some hilariously naive and ignorant commentary. His exclamation of "giants!" with a unbelieving inflection and laugh which quickly broke was hilarious. Aemon's line about knowing liars from having grown up in King's Landing was bitingly perfect.

Margaery and her grandmother had another comedic moment as they met with Brienne but the best was their walk around a pond scene cutting to Joffrey standing looking upwards with that unique hatred-inducing swagger lean that Jack Gleeson does so well. What a great re-introduction to the most hated little bugger in Westeros.
The one scene that I thought was a bit harsh was him flicking through The White Book of Kingsguard heroics, they made it seem like Jaime was just a showpiece and a bit of a failure, sure he hasn't done as much as some but Robert sat peaceful times for his reign, before that Jaime was quite the badass and won his stripes as squire for Ser Arthur Dayne in the very battle Joffrey talks about.

And of course the best was saved until last to keep us purring after the credits rolled, everyone's favourite dynamic duo: Arya and The Hound were traipsing through the war ravaged Riverlands. And the third returning character, Polliver, just so happened to be there, still in possession of Needle. Even before the brilliant stuff inside the Inn The Hound's couple of lines were outrageously funny "What the fuck's a Lommy" only being one half of the great dialogue he had and that is constantly present throughout this show.
So whilst he's a Clegane The Hound and his brother The Mountain have never been chummy, nor The Hound with his brother's men. What followed was a tense semi-stand off where Polliver misjudged the beasts sitting on the opposite side of the table, again the dialogue and acting were brilliant as we slowly drew to the inevitable. It was viscous (the guy's face to the dagger, again and then again!) but cathartic when Arya got to enact some revenge, her coldness may shock some but considering the person Polliver was I thought it was appropriate, this as close to justice as you get in Westeros.


Personally I thought it held up to the absurdly high expectations this show generates even if we only got small chunks with characters (and not all of them). I love that it's back and we still have 9 episodes, because before you know it we will all be suffering withdrawal again but until then let's enjoy the best show currently on TV. Next week: The royal wedding, it will be the biggest wedding Westeros has ever held but it surely can't be the most shocking....


(Wow I have rambled on as only this show can make me, many thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this and let me know what you thought).
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Good review! You should be writing for tv.com!
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right on, mint. i enjoyed the show as much as you. just got through watching again, and again i'm reminded....each episode of GOT pretty much DEMANDS to be viewed twice. that second viewing always yields a few tidbits that fill in some gaps, cracks, and holes. uncanny.
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Thanks for taking the time, yea I agree it is a show that demands that 2nd viewing. And of course another viewing during our withdrawal marathons once this season is finished blowing minds.
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..great start. several actors messed up their accent a bit, imo. (namely, the queen and jon snow.) shae looks different too, for a moment i thought they got a new actress..
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Spin-offs I want to see...

- "Arya and the Hound."
Road movie like tv-show with Arya Stark and Sandor Clegane wandering the Riverlands, having funny adventures and killing people (mainly Lannisters and Freys).

- "Father knows best, you unthankfull spoiled brats!"
Family sit-com featuring Tyvin Lannister and the other Lannisters.

- "Styrs cooking show."
The first cooking-show specialized on the fine tastes of human meat.
Featuring the Magna of Thenn as the chef.
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For what was basically a Roll Call episode, I thought it was fucking amazing.

It had hilarious moments, my favourite being "Lots of cunts." - The Hound

I also liked The Hounds nod to Omar from The Wire with "A man's gotta have a code."
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I live in the Uk I would have loved to have seen the revo you guys are seeing but you are next. you will see the adverts but if its copyright thats all you will see in the future. A shade day for use all

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Okay - here we go - a momentous moment here. I LIKED, nay LOVED this review!! I know, right? Me LOVING a Tim Surrette review - but....I just did. I always said if he reviewed things a bit differently and tried to see past his hatred of certain shows he'd be good, and here I am being right (for the first time EVER).

Sure, sure he loved GoT - but hey, this is a brilliant start to what I hope and pray is a whole new way of reviewing. It was so good I had to go back and check it was him and it was! So yah to the Tim.

Have to say I hate Shae too - can't stand the idiotic whiney Sansa; LOVE Jaime and Brienne. Jon Snow irritates the hell out of me with all the 'stoic looks into the middle distance' (what the hell is he looking at?)

The new guy, Oberyn, was pretty awesome and I am looking forward to the possibility of another 'Red Wedding' only with psycho Joffrey and, hopefully, Shae biting the dust. But hey so long as Tywin, Cersei and Joffrey die, I'll settle.

The Hound and Arya are pretty good and it's nice to see enemies being forced to tolerate each other to survive. The dragons ROCK! The only thing better would be the Direwolves coming back, but that's just me. The dragons are good too - can't wait for them to go for a fire raid on Kings Landing. hehe.....
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More book changes *sigh*.
Over the course of the series they have created a completely different Shae from the books, I wondered how they would work with those changes, but now I can see where they are heading.

I didn't recall the Thenns being cannibals. Rattleshirt yes, but not the Thenns. That's a change I can really not understand, and that will probably mean a few differences from the books way later. I won't spoil anything, don't worry.

The Hound and Arya, no comment.

I miss Ramsay and Reek2, hopefully they will be back next episode. How can anybody consider Joff more badass than Ramsay?

Comebacks in this episode: Janos Slynt the former commander of the Gold Cloaks, fondly remembered for helping Cersei kill Robert's baseborn baby daughter at the brothel, who got rewarded with his position as brother of the Night's Watch by Tyrion. He was not nearly as appreciative of infantcide as his sister.
Ser Dontos, former drunk knight, and now drunk fool.

Still missing: Jeyne "it rhymes with pain" Poole. Sansa's former BFF, whose father accompanied Ned to King's Landing as part of his entourage. That's a story line they messed up in Season 1.

The episode itself was okayish, a short recap for the viewers of what happened and getting reacquinted with the characters (may they all live long and prosper). Don't worry people, it's just building things up a bit.
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"The Hound and Arya, no comment."

Really? I have read the books and I must say I think the show did that scene better.
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Any thing I could say about that, would be too spoileresque. It was nicely done, but now they have to do some rewrite.
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Ah I think I know what you mean, yes I wondered about that as well. I think perhaps the conclusion of that missed thing will be delayed a bit.
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I am more curious how they want to fix this mess with the Jeyne Poole story line though.
That's the problem with trying to white wash characters. Sansa was responsible for her BFF ending up in one of LF whorehouses. They did not want to portray her that ignorant/stupid, now they have to work around it. Affecting no less than 3(!!) other POV/major characters.
I agree they will delay that other thing, to have that story line going on for a while, maybe for the season.
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Really good episode, set up the story lines without the usual slow plodding set up, you can tell this season is going to be full of action (judging by the almost menage four way in the beginning that turned in to a guy getting stabbed in the wrist and the final blood bath at the end).

Favorite parts of the episode:

1) The statue of Joffrey with his cross bow standing over the dire wolf, just absolute perfection in terms of capturing how big of a c*nt Joffrey really is.

2) Jamie's wave to Qyburn, classic. I mean, Qyburn quite possibly saved Jamie's life, definitely saved his arm, cared for him and accompanied him all the way to King's landing and instead of a heartfelt thank you or even a hand shake, Jamie just gives him that little wave......just amazing. Nikolai was meant to play that part.

3) Pretty much any line uttered by the hound.

4) Arya Stark - has pretty much seen her entire family killed, she's on the road with someone that wants to ransom her off, most girls (most anybody) would be a quibbling pile of nothing, instead, she calmly clobbers a man over the head, takes his sword and rams it through his heart, then comes up behind the guy that killed her friend and took her sword, stabs him to the ground, takes her sword back, taunts him with his own words and then ever so coldly stabs him through the neck and watches him die choking on his own blood with a smile (and ultimately gets the pony she wanted). B-A-M-F.
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fantastic review. I thought Lady of Thorns was very politically correct in addressing the big chick. There is something else I want to say, but I won't.
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Lady Olenna was thrilled to see the woman that defeated Loras!

I never expected it of her, but she can love her family while also loving whoever gives her grandson a lesson in humility.
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The new Daario is far better for a reason I dont know. I just didnt liked the the old one. Glad to see that the showrunners were with me.
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That was served up Dirty Harry style, without the gun talk nonsense.
Don't think I have seen a more sharklike expression anywhere from anyone EVER. He was gonna kill as sure as eggs are eggs. I loved this whole scene.
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Theon Greyjoy and his 'friend' from last season are at Winterfell.
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Nope, they are not.
They are at the Dreadfort. The lovely home of House Bolton.
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I must have been thinking of the books then, because he was definitely at Winterfell in the books. I don't want to mention what happens next, but it all centres around Winterfell.
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That's later. They return there. You think of the Ghost of Winterfell and the Rat Cook. But Theon's agony and Kyra was happening at the Dreadfort. Reread the chapters again.
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Great season opener so many lol moments I especially enjoyed Jamie's wave to non-Maester Qyburn.

On a separate note I think the casting on the show has been absolutely phenomenal but I think the recast of Daario with they guy from Treme/Nashville is more than a little jarring. I just can't see him pulling off the loveable/rogue with loads of swagger that the character requires.
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The new guy was definitely more handsome but didn't feel as cocky as the old one. Not sure how cocky the character is supposed to be though. Very drastic change anyway.
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It's funny, by my judgement from the books they have made the change for the opposite reasons. i.e the old Daario was more classically handsome whilst he is described as more rough around the edges and rugged in the books. And whilst the old Daario was definitely cocky it came across as arrogance. In the books he always came across as cocky but assuredly so, as if you never doubted whether he had the skillset to back up his confidence (so it didn't come across as arrogance).
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I'll give him time perhaps he'll grow on me.
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That's interesting, as someone who hasn't watched Nashville and a only a the first couple of Treme I really like the new Daario, much more than the old one. Really need to watch Treme.
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I so agree with you. I am not impressed at all with the new, fake Daario.
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Finally they put some humor in this tv show ! Great job and great episode ! Can't wait to see Joffrey's ass kicked !!!
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i think Cersei got herself fixed so she could not have children. thats why she isnt worried about being married
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