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Game of Thrones S04E02: "The Lion and the Rose"


OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWD! "The Lion and the Rose" was straight-up awesome from start to finish, and with the Lord of Light as my witness, I declare it one of my favorite episodes of Game of Thrones ever. Not only did the hour focus on the weirdos, psychos, and horrible people of Westeros, it crammed almost all of them together at the most problematic of occasions: an arranged marriage between two families that plain don't like each other. Even the check-ins with characters who weren't attending the "Purple Wedding" were amazing, as the episode rocketed them into the fold with heaping doses of cruelty and dementia. "The Lion and the Rose" eschewed nobility and honor in favor of showcasing how truly awful Game of Thrones' characters can be, and that's what makes the series such a great fantasy soap opera. Plus, Shae (ugh, I hate Shae) cried tears of sadness, which was the icing on the pigeon pie.

Anyway, pour some barbecue sauce on your brother-in-law and let's discuss what happened in the "The Lion and the Rose"!


"My banners, not yours. You're not a Bolton, you're a Snow." —Roose Bolton

I will firmly state that Game of Thrones characters who are awful people are much more interesting than those who abide by the rules of honor and generosity, because the idea of a noble knight who defends a maiden's virtue or an elf who starts a charity for broken-horned unicorns is just not for me. The fantasy genre is stuffed full with so many nice people who we're supposed to root for, and I'm sick of it (I was Team Sauron all the way in the Bored of the Rings movies, and Team the Nothing in The NeverEnding and Never Interesting Story films). Well, because of the big event at the end of "The Lion and the Rose," I'm going to have to find a new asshole to cheer for on this show, and there's a good chance that Ramsay Snow might fill that void.

Ramsay, played perfectly by Iwan Rheon (Misfits), is a non-stop comedy show for a guy like me; I just love watching him sever penises and hunt down pretty girls in the woods. Remember, this is the guy who sacked Winterfell and was party to Roose Bolton's traitorous ways against the Starks, so he's not exactly nice. But when he puts on that boyish "Oh golly!" grin while shaking some sausage in his castration victim's face or meeting his dad's meaty new bride, it's hard not to appreciate the joy that Ramsay gets out of exacting cruelty on others. I can appreciate a man who really takes pride in his job.

In the opening scene of "The Lion and the Rose," Ramsay hunted a woman in the woods with Theon and an archer named Miranda for whatever reason, probably because he was bored, and after Miranda felled their prey with an arrow, Ramsay let his dogs eat her. Meanwhile, Theon looked on disapprovingly, and I guess Game of Thrones wants us to feel bad for Theon. Nice try, show, but I won't forget that Theon is a jerk who felt up his own sister's boobs. Having his cock cut off might have suited him well, too, because instead of maintaining his troublemaker status and making dumb decisions based on what he thinks is pride, he's now a docile little slave to Ramsay. 


But Ramsay's dad Roose Bolton wasn't as impressed by Ramsay's hard work as I was, and in keeping with Game of Thrones' theme of disappointed fathers, he tsk-tsk'd Ramsay for ruining Theon's hostage value (I'm guessing George R.R. Martin and his dad have a terrible relationship). Since Theon isn't in mint condition, there's no way that Balon Greyjoy will swap his possession of Moat Cailin for his son (though there's no guarantee that Balon would want Theon back anyway). Ramsay was smart, though, and revealed Theon's value to his dad when Theon admitted to never killing Bran and Rickon Stark. So Roose sent Locke (the guy who cut off Jaime's hand) toward Castle Black in search of Bran and Rickon, and he gave Ramsay another shot at winning his favor with the chance to take Moat Cailin by force. Go be somebody, Ramsay! A Bolton-Greyjoy war might not sound too interesting, but it's a fine opportunity for a battle involving a bunch of people we're not too invested in, so let the heads roll, I say! Who would we want to win, though? I'm siding with the Greyjoys, because the idea of Roose Bolton ruling the North makes me want to vomit in my mouth.



"There's only one hell. The one we live in now." —Melisandre

Our first taste of the bumbling losers of Dragonstone came in the best way possible: with people burning to death on stakes and Melisandre screaming her New Age mumbo-jumbo at them. "Accept these tokens of our faith, my lord, and lead us from the darkness," she said as the "tokens" howled like lobsters in a boiling pot. The heathens deserved to cook, though, because if you're not following the Lord of Light, then you aren't witnessing his many miracles across Westeros. In my recent interview with actress Carice van Houten, I admitted that I'm a believer because of what I've seen—namely, the Shadow Baby, Baric Dondarrion's resurrection, and Melisandre's rockin' bod. These are events I can put my faith behind. And in this scene, Melisandre uttered the now-familiar line that still sends shivers down my spine, "Lord of Light protect us, for the night is dark and full of terrors!" and then WHOOOSH! All the simmering flames became mini-infernos and swallowed up their victims. Seeing is believing, folks!

Stannis's wife Selyse has chugged the Lord of Light's Kool-Aid to the point where her tongue is dyed bright red, even though the religion's priestess is grinding on her husband. That's fanaticism! Selyse didn't even complain when her own brother was burned at the stake for refusing to throw away his idols worshipping the wrong gods. In sum, Selyse is absolutely insane. She's so cuckoo and stubborn in her beliefs that when she told my boy Ser Davos that the barbecued people's souls were with the Lord, the disappointed Onion Knight could only say, "I'm sure they're more than grateful, my queen." Haha, Davos. Always a crack-up. The amount of bullshit that was spit at royalty through gritted teeth in this episode was off the charts.

Elsewhere during this visit to Dragonstone, Selyse and Stannis's daughter Shireen challenged Melisandre with regard to Melisandre's rituals, and we learned that Stannis knows how to grill seagulls and make book soup. In a TV.com exclusive, I got Stannis's secret recipe:

Stannis's Book Soup (Serves 4)
Ingredients:
– 1 book, preferably something by Dan Brown (George R.R. Martin books tend to fill the soup with too many extraneous details, and new flavors only come out once every six years)
– 1 pot of boiling water

Put book in boiling water. Declare it "book soup." Serve to your freak of a wife immediately.


"I know where we have to go." —Bran Stark

For the first time this season, we also caught up with Bran, who was up to his old tricks of spirit-riding his direwolf, Summer. And in his vision, he murdered a deer supposedly because he was hungry. It sure beats waking up to a half-eaten pillow! Jojen warned Bran that if he spent too much time warging, he'd lose all sense of himself and forget everything, kind of like that CrossFit pandemic that's turning people into monsters. "If we lose you, we lose everything," Meera said. But do the Reeds really even know what they're doing? Meera, if you lose Bran, you get to turn around and go south for some carefree tanning!

A bit later, the group came upon a tree that Summer was yapping at, so Bran touched it and saw Game of Thrones clips from Seasons 1, 5, 6, and 7! If I were Bran, I would have kicked the crap out of that weirwood. No spoilers, tree! But what Bran saw was pretty awesome: visions of Ned, the crypt beneath Winterfell (I think), the room that holds the Iron Throne all covered in snow, maybe Superman's Fortress of Solitude or something equally crystallized, and the shadow of a dragon flying over King's Landing. Umm, awesome? But what does it mean!?!? Bran said, "I know where we have to go," and I waited and waited but he still didn't say it. "North," boomed a voice in his vision. So I guess they're going to continue north. I've given Bran's storyline a hard time in the past, but at least this time he experienced his coolest vision yet, even if his travels are developing awfully slow. Even Dany is looking at Bran's plot and beeping her horn. 



"A toast to the proud Lannister children: the Cripple, the Dwarf, and the Mother of Madness." —Tyrion Lannister

A dejected Jaime, still smarting after his sister turned him down for sex, supped with his brother Tyrion—but Jaime couldn't even raise a glass with his golden hand of uselessness. He party-fouled an entire glass of wine and then whimpered about it, so Tyrion decided that Jaime needed to get some mojo back and arranged a sword-training session with Bronn so that Jaime could learn to fight with his left hand. Bronn took him to a picturesque little nook that overlooked Blackwater Bay. It also happened to be the nook that Bronn uses for nookie, as he explained to Jaime that it's where he bangs a knight's wife in secret 'cuz she's a screamer. Anyway, Jaime is a pretty crummy swordsman with his left hand, is what I got from this scene.

After hearing that Cersei's spies had noticed Shae's visit to Tyrion, Tyrion chatted with Shae. And by "chatted with," I mean "broke up with." It was glorious! Tyrion booked Shae a one-way cruise to Pentos, and I know it was to save her life, but I like to think it's because he couldn't stand her anymore. He went for the rip-the-Band-Aid-off approach and delivered this whopper of a goodbye: "You're a whore! Sansa is fit to bear my child and you are not. I can't be in love with a whore. I can't have children with a whore. How many men have you been with, five hundred? Five thousand?" Shae cried real tears, but sorry, I didn't feel bad for her at all. Get out of here, Shae! Good riddance! I hope her boat sinks.

But while love failed between Tyrion and Shae, wedding bells were ringing elsewhere. And now...

You are cordially invited to
THE PURPLE WEDDING


It was a royal holiday as King's Landing prepared for the union of the lovely Margaery Tyrell of House Tyrell and His Royal Heinous King Joffrey Baratheon of House Lannister and House Baratheon and House Incest. The city was all aflutter with plenty of grumpiness, despair, and hate. I knew this wedding and its fun ceremony were coming because I read up through the third book in George R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series, but I honestly didn't expect it to happen so soon on the TV show. The whole extended sequence was top-notch entertainment, and one of the few times so many of Game of Thrones' major characters were used in one setting. 



"Now that the war is won, we should all find time for wisdom. Thank you, Uncle." —King Joffrey Baratheon

Before the actual wedding, Joffrey was presented with gifts, because a king can never have enough stuff. Margaery's father gave Joffrey an ornate cup. Gee, thanks Mr. Tyrell. Tyrion followed with a book the size of A Dance With Dragons, and Joffrey looked as excited to receive it as Tyrion was to get rid of it. Finally, Tywin presented Joffrey with that other Valyrian steel blade, and it would have been a heartwarming moment if either Tywin or Joffrey had a heart. Joffrey immediately used the sword to hack up Tyrion's book. Classic Joffrey! Sansa was not impressed: 


But my favorite part of the episode was when Joffrey asked the crowd what he should name his sword and people just started shouting out death-metal band names.


Joffrey went with Widow's Wail because it sounded the coolest and would remind him of Ned Stark's death, which was so not cool with Sansa. I don't know why Joffrey insists on torturing Sansa so much still. It's like, dude, let it chill. Sheesh. 



"With this kiss, I pledge my love." —King Joffrey Baratheon

The actual wedding was no-big-deal affair, and Game of Thrones smartly decided to get this part over with as soon as possible. Do you? Do you? There, you're married! And then Joffrey tried to swallow Margaery whole. Let's all give Margaery some credit, folks—she put up with a lot of crap in the name of enjoying unlimited power as Queen of Westeros. 

But around this time, "The Lion and the Rose" did start to offer hints that something big was about to go down. There was a sneaky camera pan from Tywin to Lady Olenna, the Queen of Thorns, and Olenna's face read something other than joy over seeing her granddaughter getting married. I saw it as, "YESSSSS POWER IS MINE!" But as we would find out later, it may have been something even more. 

The wedding reception was where all the fantastic action took place, as Joffrey got to remind us what a terrible person he was. In fact, I don't think anyone was happy to be at the event. People were straight nasty to each other for the duration of the post-wedding festivities. Tywin moaned about having to pay for half the affair, Tyrion was still fretting about kicking Shae off the continent, and Oberyn called out the Lannisters as supporters of rape and murder, plus he repeatedly called Cersei the "former queen regent." But the real claws came out from both Jaime and Cersei, as Jaime threatened Loras about marrying Cersei and Cersei accused Brienne of loving Jaime. And Brienne didn't deny the allegations, because Brienne would fall in love with a brick wall if she leaned against it long enough. However, it was nice to see that Brienne spent last week reading some fashion blogs or something, because she looked much better this week than she did in the Season 4 premiere. Cersei is playing some harsh head games with Jaime right now; she refuses to sleep with him, but still threatens girls who talk to him? Oooooh girl, you cold!



"A royal wedding isn't amusement. A royal wedding is history." —King Joffrey Baratheon

And with that line, Joffrey turned a semi-jovial reception into an awkward display of little-person abuse as he had his court of fools reenact the War of the Five Kings and open old wounds for all the attendees who'd lost relatives as part of it. Loras was pissed off when little Renly was booted out of the skit, and Sansa could only look on in horror when little Robb had his wolf's head taken off. But things turned downright uncomfortable when Joffrey took his loathsome behavior and channeled it into berating Tyrion. 


After pouring wine over Tyrion's head, he forced his uncle to be his gofer, and taunted Tyrion to defy his orders. For his part, Tyrion mostly went along with the routine until he was saved by Margaery, who was overjoyed to see that the pigeon pie had arrived. After Joffrey cut open the pie and the birds poured out, he asked for his wine and took a gulp. Then it happened...



[Choking sounds] —King Joffrey Baratheon

Slightly uncomfortable swallows were followed by gasps for air. Joffrey was choking to death. You may have been jumping up and down for joy, but I was feeling some real emotion here. I was actually sad. And when Cersei leaned over her boy in a fit of hysterics, I may've even squeezed out a tear. "The Lion and the Rose" marked the end of an era, guys. You call it a reign a terror, I call it a reign of terror for my own amusement. Regardless of what you think of him, you have to admit that Game of Thrones is going to be a lot more boring without Joffrey. Take me with you, Joffrey! *Jumps on top of coffin weeping*


So, what do you think happened? Clearly Cersei thinks it was Tyrion who poisoned the wine, and Joffrey pointed at his uncle while taking his last dying breath, but c'mon, it wasn't Tyrion. There were moments during the reception that transformed the scene into into a whodunnit before a who had even dunnit. Some mysterious lingering shots focused on specific characters that should raise some suspicion. 


Olenna Tyrell is a candidate, isn't she? Couldn't she have murdered Joffrey as soon as Margaery was named queen so she could have the control? There was a shot of Varys, too, and he's been known to spin his web in high places "for the good of the realm." Why did Ser Dantos try to grab Sansa and get her to leave immediately? Did he know what was going to happen before it happened? And let's not forget about Oberyn, the Lannister hater who attended the wedding despite despising its hosts. He wanted revenge for his sister, and killing Tywin's grandchild would be a good way to achieve that.  



WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS

Each week, I'll rank the episodes of Season 4 from best to worst. But remember, these are just my opinions! Feel free to post your own in the comments!


This week:
 Wow. Just a stellar episode of Game of Thrones that will be hard to top. "The Lion and the Rose" was both shocking and hilarious, through and through. Joffrey is dead! 


1. "The Lion and the Rose" (Episode 2)

2. "Two Swords" (Episode 1)



NOTES FROM THE RAVENS

– Okay, who else is shipping Loras and Oberyn?

– Hey, that was real-life Icelandic band Sigur Ros playing music at Joffrey's wedding reception (and their version of "The Rains of Castamere" is now available for purchase at Amazon)! I'm glad Joffrey cut their set short and kicked them off stage, though. We should send Joffrey to Coachella and have him turn the three-day festival into a two-hour event.

– Haha Pycelle, cornering young women and offering them personal examinations. What a pervy old man. And I love how honest Cersei was with him: "Every breath you draw in my presence annoys me." Cersei is the best.

– R.I.P. (rest in pie) to that one bird that didn't make it out of the wedding dessert.

– Do you think we're actually rid of Shae, or is she hiding in a barrel somewhere?


Kindly avoid posting book spoilers in the comments.


Previously Aired Episode

AIRED ON 6/26/2016

Season 6 : Episode 10

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This show is amazing and I am a huge fan. This sucks that GOT is restricted in my country. :( Had to use a VPN everytime I watch it. You do need a speedy one for streaming.
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Game of thrones series dominate the trend worldwide people awaits the season of game of throne, in some countries there is prohibited of this show you may watch this by VPN
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Can't believe that anyone actually thinks it's Tyrion - have you actually been watching the show? Tyrion is smart! Far too smart to kill Jothrey in such a way that would cast any suspicion on himself.
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Speaking of songs: nice touch to put The Bear and The Maiden Fair in the background of Cersei's 'friendly conversation' with Brienne.

Jump into that pit Jaime!
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I take GOT seriously.
did not like the tone of the review, so I will scamper to some other site.
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Its the Lannisters song. So ofc it was played at Joffreys wedding, in the books different bards gave their interpretation of the song, trying to impress. Which led Lady Olenna to remark. "Oh one more time the rains of castamere, I almost forgot the words"
For the Tully-Frey wedding at the Twins, it was the signal to start the massacre.
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Gee... why am I not shocked that Tim loved Joffery so much. Probably because Tim is the Joffery of tv.com.
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sorry guys,no Joffrey no GoT....
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I used to feel the same way about Jon & Ygritte before Jaime & Brienne, Gendry & Arya before Jon & Ygritte, Khal Drogo & Daenerys before Gendry & Arya and even Ned & Catelyn before Drogo & Daenerys.

This show has a way with me: it makes me believe in Ramsay just as I believed in Joffrey, Theon Greyjoy, Craster and Viserys.
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"– R.I.P. (rest in pie) to that one bird that didn't make it out of the wedding dessert."

Wait...there was a bird that didn't make it out? I didn't notice that. *puts detective hat on* . Wine wasn't the only thing Joffrey consumed. Remember how he said the pie was dry (and maybe tasted funny?). OMG, maybe THAT was what was poisoned? And the pigeon that didn't make it out probably ate a little.

Of course if the plan went awry and other people ate it too soon after, many other wedding guests would have been killed, but I also have doubts anyone would have dared had any pie before the king finished his whole piece..

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I agree it was the pie! There is a scene where something falls out of it and I am thinking it was not a portion of dove. The only person who had something to gain was Cercie. She would remain Queen. Also, Cercie ordered the pie fed to the dogs. While I do believe the intention was to kill jeoffry with a poisoned bead, that would only be a plan for after the consummation. I honestly watched the pie scene several times and had Jeoffry slammed it more times a piece of dove falling out would make sense, but as it happened I beleive Cersie was responsible and immedietly ran to where the poison fell to comfort her dying son and point the finger to Tyrion.
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The birds didn't make it out because Joffrey hacked the pie apart with a sword...
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"[Choking sounds] —King Joffrey Baratheon"

[Choking sounds] "cough cough...bewwwbs" - Me :P

Anyway, I was a little bothered that people seemed so quick to arrest Tyrion. Yes, I get it, this is Westeros, there isn't really a court system, CSI, detectives, whatever. But even people the other characters (Cersei herself if she wasn't in hysterics) know that Tyrion is too smart and devious as a person to poison the KING and directly implicate himself in front of a bunch of people. That's intensley dumb seeming. I really hope someone pipes up about that in the next episode, because Tyrion already had to put up with this crap when he was accused of pushing Bran out the window (which at least seemed more feasible at the time).

I actually figured in a surprise twist it would be Dontos the fool knight who was going to pop out of the cake or something and kill Joffrey. As it is, bringing this rather obscure seeming character back at the beginning of the season definitely spelled something. I think he did it. The guy had nothing left to live for, and whoever did it may have also been trying to frame Tyrion (as far as Dontos understands it, Sansa is a nice lady who saved him, caught in a horrible marriage with a terrible little lanaster imp, he probably does not presume Tyrion Lannister is any better than the king Lannister). So yeah, while who exactly did it wasn't revealed, I kept expecting to be obvious Dontos. No one else really makes sense because it would be too obvious, both from a plot device, as well as just these characters and how crafty they actually are so as not to make such an obvious ploy as poisoning the kings wine.

One thing to point out though, the Queen of Thornes mentioning how sad it is to kill a man on his wedding day, uh, yeah that was more than just foreshadowed writing....seems like she knew exactly what was going to happen.

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If this was CSI, someone that had something against Jaime would've done it:

  • Either to get to him by killing eldest son knowing there's nothing he could've done without exposing the child as his eldest son, in which case I would've blamed the closest Karstask around (he killed his sons last season).
  • Either for vengance, by killing his helpless son to exact revenge for what he did to the helpless Brandon Stark, in which case I would've blamed the closest Stark around.
  • or to make him pay for a blackmail gone wrong, in which case I would've blamed the closest person that knew about him and Cersei. In this case, I would've blamed Ser Loras, Lord Varys or Jon Arryn if he was still alive.

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"the idea of a noble knight who defends a maiden's virtue or an elf who starts a charity for broken-horned unicorns is just not for me."

Then why do you miss Ned Stark so much? ;)
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Just because Ned was a good man did not mean he wasn't a complex and enjoyable character. He tried to be a good and virtuous man in a very unforgiving world, while carrying the guilt of the Rebellion over his shoulders (the Sack of King's Landing, anyone?), not to mention raising a bastard son in his own home whom his wife could never love, and the other love of his life committing suicide. I could go on and on, but Ned had a lot of things going on, and was far from a 2-dimensional "goodie two shoes".
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Am I the only one who thinks Ramsay's birth mother was Locke's sister?

There's the uncanny familiarity in which the two of them welcomed one another. Not to mention, that favorite-uncle-sort-of-hug as they started talking about cutting the hand of the kingslayer.
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Nah, if I recall it correctly, Ramsays mother was the wife of a miller. Roose found her quite attractive when he saw her. And he wanted the right of the first night. So he hanged the husband for not informing his lord about the marriage, and raped the woman right under her hanging husband. I could tell a bit more about Ramsay's origins, but I am not sure whether the show runners will give the background later (which I doubt) and I don't want to spoil anything. But Roose is basically the only person/thing Ramsay fears.
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However I also read Ramsay's story from the books, I'm discussing the episode we actually saw, on a show that introduced a character named Locke (that wasn't on the books), and an episode that gave him a particular familiarity with Ramsay and Lord Bolton (that also wasn't on the books).
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I don't think there's a relationship. I think he will just fill in for Ramsay's Bastard Boys who were looking for the Stark kids in the books. Maybe he will end up in the Wolf's Den. We have no Wex Pyke, so we need an alternative for Wyman Manderly to gather information. I think this is how Locke will fit in. At least my theory, for whatever it's worth.
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Locke acts like a favorite uncle, since Bolton has no brothers its got to be from Ramsay's mother side.

If that was the case, I would send him to The Wall to deal with Jon Snow and/or make sure Bran & Rickon never survive a reunion with their half brother.

But that's my theory based on what I've actually watched on this episode.
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The script writers left out one of my favortie Roose Bolton quotes in this episode:
"Get the keys and remove those chains from him, before you make me rue the day I raped your mother.”

That line alone is more revealing about Roose and Ramsay than most other stuff.
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What Ramsay did to Tansy was more revealing about Roose and Ramsay that most other stuff.

Ramsay's hounds may not be a bear but the idea was the same: to give Tansy to his pet rat girl to "play with" just as Roose gave Brienne to Locke last season.
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The king is Dead!! Finally....but i have to say, Joffrey was his trully evil himself this episode and he played it very very well...poor Tyrion...
Theon acted really nicely this episode. The whole pride thing was gone and now he is Reek the slave...i was holding my breath while he was shaving Ramsay and he told thim that his mother and brother were dead, but he didn't do anything. Damn!!!

The whole Melisandre part, to be honest...didn't like it was not important to see them starving or complaining about food and stuff.

I wonder what will happen to Sansa, when Tyrion go's to jail?? I think the old lady did it...so now we have queen....ok..

The visons were very cooly done...so they are going North...i wonder when their journey will end and they reach the place...
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They'll be back!
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I can see Bronn days are numbered the mountain will deal with him I suspect Cersei want to get rid of her brother bodyguard. Shame I really liked him as well but maybe Jamie will defend Tyroin just to annoy Cersei.
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You must hate Jaime quite a bit, if you want him to fight the Mountain. It would be a tough fight even for a healthy Jaime (healthy he would be the favorite though).
One mistake against Ser Gregor and you are dead. Without his sword hand Jaime is a rather poor fighter. Bronn himself is a rather good fighter, and even he would think at least twice before facing the mountain in combat.
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Bronn proved himself in combat when he was defending tyroin and I like jamie as he has faults and quite devious more then others like jon snow. Bronn and Jamie would have defend tyroin problem jamie banging the sister so thats leaves Bronn exposed.
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Yeah, but there's big difference between killing an old knight in combat and taking on the Mountain. Just check back season one, when he split his horse in two with one blow of his sword. The Hound vs. The Mountain would be fair, probably slightly in favour of the Mountain. Now ask yourself, how would Bronn do against the Hound. You would need a real big bag of gold to convince Bronn to fight the Mountain. One handed Jaime would be dead meat. Same with Brienne. You seem to totally underestimate the Mountain in combat.
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We see what happens when the mountain fights red viper as the trailer shows and that be strength versus skill
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Yes, but Bronn would still not be particularly happy about that fight, which would be evenly matched at best. He would fight the Mountain, if the reward was big enough. But the reward has to be enormous for him to take the risk of never being able to spend it. The fight at the Eyrie was relatively easy for him. You know, there are old sellsword and there are bold sellsword. There are no old, bold sellsword.
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You've got to hand it to Bronn then: to fight dirty is the only way to win against those like The Mountain.

And that's exactly how he's teaching Jaime to fight.
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What really bugs me is: Why Jaime had to wait for Bronn to be suggested by Tyrion? Why couldn't he just practice with Brienne?

She was the last person he ever fought with back when he was whole. Jaime didn't need to rely on a stranger.
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I don't think jamie want fight against Brienne as he would be mentally unprepared against her where as Bronn he a unpredictable opponent and would give Jamie a more better match physically and mentally.
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It just seems weird: if the goal is to fight someone that won't tell, it doesn't make sense to avoid the one person Jaime knows for fact that won't tell...
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Ser Ilyn?
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Tyrion to Cersie in the next episode - "What sort of imbecile hands poisonous wine to the king in front of a large crowd?"

Just like in season 1 - Tyrion to Catelyn - "What sort of imbecile arms an assassin with his own blade?"
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It would've been ironic for Cersei to try to poison Margaery only to poison her son instead.
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I am upset. This is the reaction that I failed to have during the Red Wedding (I'm just not Team Robb Stark). I reallyreallyreally did not want Joffrey to die. Sure he's terrible, but his terribleness makes the court and the characters fopping around King's Landing so much more interesting. Just think of all the classic things Joffrey has triggered (I'm NOT TIRED!!!), I will miss that guy. My Funko Pop Joffrey and I are not pleased.
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Don't worry, the Court will be in very uncapable hands. And you will enjoy the circus going on there in the future. I can promise you that.
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"Fuck the King"
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I'm 99,9% sure that either Margary or her grandmama killed Joffrey. First of all, why didn't Margaery drink the wine Tyrion poured to the glass? For a moment, I was sure that Sansa would get up and kill Joffrey with his own effin' Valyrian sword (during the "lovely" little 5 kings - battle in the wedding, where we saw Sansa's face real up-close getting more and more upset with the show). And hell no did Tyrion poison Joffrey - otherwise why he would've picked up Joffrey's cup from the ground with a total and utter WTF - look on his face?
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The granny took a stone from Sansa Necklace and when Joffrey sliced the pie the granny with the help of Magery dropped it in the goblet which then Joffrey drank . It would have to take two to execute the as the Guards were close by!
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Ok these are my thoughts:

1) A Tyrell killed Jeoffrey, but maybe the poison wasn't in the wine, it was in the cake.

2) I think Bran is heading to King's Landing.

3) Poor Tyron, he's like a martir. He has suffered so much and stay so strong. He's my new role model :D

4) I just hope Cersei dies, but awfuly.

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You heard it here first, folks. It was Tywin Lannister. Yep, the Old Man himself saw fit to end that little monster's reign.
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Alright, so I was wrong. But hey, I didn't read the books, so... lol
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Why is no one talking about the fact that ramsey could be jon snow's brother? I mean lord bolton called him a snow right? Its possible lord bolton and ned stark banged the same woman.
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Because Ned brought his bastard from King's Landing, not the North. If anything, Jon has better chances to be half brother with Gendry rather than Ramsay
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All bastard's from the north have the name Snow, if they are from Dorne then it is Sand's or from Riverlands its Rivers and so on..
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As stated a few days ago.
Snow is a bastard name in the north. Every illegitimate child of a Lord in the north has the surname Snow. Jon and Ramsay are not in any way related.
Other bastard names and their regions:
Stone (in the Vale)
Hill (Westerlands)
Storm (Stormlands)
Rivers (Riverlands)
Sand (Dorne)
Pyke (Iron Islands)
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Snow is the surname term they use for people born out of wedlock in the North. Oberon's wife is a Sand as she is from the hot South.
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She's not Oberyn's wife, just his lover.
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Actually, Ellaria's one of them. The main one for sure, but not the only lover.
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Don't they use the term "paramour" in the books? (Haven't read that far yet). That she's not the only one was pretty obvious by the fact that he took her to a brothel for a foursome...
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It was Lord of Light who killed Joffrey!



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"...Brienne would fall in love with a brick wall if she leaned against it long enough."

Woah.
Oh, no.
Hell no, bitch.

Please (legit begging here) do not reduce Brienne to some shy little season-1-Sansa-character who is hopelessly naive and will lend her heart out to anyone. Did you read the books? Any of you? No spoilers, just a bit of insight, but even in the fourth book, Brienne doesn't know how she feels about him (although it is implied via dreams that she cares deeply about him). But whatever the frickadoodle Brienne feels about Jaime was built on the growing good in him--which, yes, there is some--and how, beneath the incestuous, cruel, arrogant facade Jaime wore ever so often, there was actually some decency. Not that Jaime's a "good guy", which Brienne fully knows, but she is characterized as somebody who respects and values honor and ethics, and she got to know him better than, like, 99.99% of the kingdom, discovering in him that goodness she adores. She saw his goodness, and his goods. Mmm. (She describes him in the book, as he was sickly at that point, as half corpse and half god.)
A bit of babbling there, but anyway, in her scenes in the books (again, these are no "spoilers"), she talks about how she never just leant her heart out to men because they used to play games with her to try and trick her and 'claim her maidenhead'. From her childhood, even, she didn't trust men or care for them (except for Renly, who she saw as honorable and kind, and who sorta was).

The point here is that I hate to see one of my favorite characters reduced to a child just because she has conflicted feelings. She's a good character, and I just want to kiss her cheek and hug her. Whatever. Also, last note, wasn't last week's outfit just this week's outfit... but with a brown leather shirt-thing over it? Is this E! news or something?
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To be fair, Brienne is like an all grown up Arya: so clueless she can't tell she actually loves a guy until he's about to leave her for some brotherhood.

Granted, Jaime isn't Gendry...nor Renly for that matter, yet it doesn't make any difference: Brienne-Arya will love without knowing that what she's doing, unless someone points it out for them (Cersei, Melisandre, you name it).
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OMG. It just hit me...

No more slapping Joffrey scenes, ever!

Noooooooo
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I'm seriously going to miss these!
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Haha IKR, I am gonna miss Jack Gleeson. He played is role so well. I really hope he continues his acting career and we get to see more of him.
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Then you'll be disappointed to hear that he doesn't want to continue his acting career. There was an interview with him a while ago where he announced thar he wants to stop after GoT.

It's a pity. Playing such a vile character so well must have been really hard, but he was SO good at it.
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I think the Tyrell's would have waited until Joffrey had bedded (I'm even talking like this now) Margaery before killing him, as that is part of being officially married. This was way too soon to grab power through.
Ser Dantos was in on something, but not smart enough to have done it on his own. I think this was a conspiracy far more widespread than just one or two people knowing about it. Rushing Sansa of would implicate the Tyrell's, as they are fond of her, but I still feel my earlier comment stands. LIttlefinger is also a valid option as part of it. The only thing I know for certain is that it wasn't Cersei. Her children are the only thing she loves. For a mastermind behind this I would think Varys. Tywin doesn't do poison, although he did have a nice walk with Lady Olenna.

Margaery's hair was absolutely horrid. I couldn't stop staring at it.
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They fact they didn't wait till the bedding is what makes you suspect of Varys: he just mentioned Ros's death right before the rehearsal lunch, and Joffrey was directly responsible of her death.
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It could have been intentional to prevent the consummation... Politically the only reason Margery was suitable to marry Joffrey in the first place was because she hadn't slept with Renly.... this way she can still remarry in the future. Personally.. both Margery and Olenna were well aware what kind of violent sadist psycho Joffrey was and just how bad a night with Joffrey could be...I don't think either of them would have been prepared to let Margery suffer the kind of abuse Joffrey was capable of.
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Then again, no one is. The first thing Ned did upon learning Joffrey's origins was to promise her another match and try to send his daughters away.
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This was suppose to be Redemption day I am suppose to be happy Joffrey dead but there is no show without the Starks. There is no more suspense this show is now just bunch clips of boring conversions
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It didn't play like we were "supposed" to be happy, but rather realized that even characters as vile as Joffrey can suffer an agonizing dead.

Its like Arya said, everybody dies and anyone can be killed.
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Every season that comment comes up. Put your mind to it, and try and reach the obvious conclusion. Every season, people who said that in the past are proven wrong. Do you really think they would show Joffrey's death so soon if there weren't any strong plot points for the rest of the season? I can faithfully tell you though, by the end of season 4, this episode's event won't even be remembered.
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True, Joffrey was the least polarazing antagonist...but he wasn't, by far, the only one.
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I dont think you got what I was saying
I am glad that Joffrey is dead but that does not make up for the show lack of interesting plots which the show killed of when they killed The interesting Starks (Ned,Robb and Catelyn)
You see opposing to Tim I do like my shows to have a good "Good" guy or girl but the show killed most of them off right along with any intresting plots to watch
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Then again, this has never been an "us vs them" scenario: Brienne, Ramsay, Daenerys, Jon, Ygritte, Davos, Melisandre, Gendry, Arya, The Hound, Margaery, Oberyn and so on are intriguing, not because of the side they are on, but because they way they're constructed.

Game of Thrones has always been an epic, not a family saga. And, in an epic, people die regardless the family they belong to.
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Ding Dong biatch!

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Did Joffrey choke from the poison wine or perhaps poison cake??
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I'm just glad Joffrey died believing Robert was his father.

After what he had been through, it would've been too cruel to tell him he actually died in the arms of his parents.
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Joffrey found out too late about the old expression 'he who lives by the sword, dies by the poison...because a sword is too quick and honorable for a cowardly dickhead."

That's an actual expression. Little known fact, that one.

Guess Joffrey was more familiar with the more famous expression, "he who lives by the sword, dies by the sword", and thought his invincible Valyrian steel sword would take care of that.

Maybe he should have had his utensils and cups made out of Valyrian steel instead of a sword...
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*warning - the following may be construed as a spoiler - I don't think it is, but do not read if you don't want to take any chances*

lol, some of you guys that post spoilers (you know who you are, don't try to act innocent) ... smh, you are ridiculous.
When people try so hard to look smart, inevitably the opposite occurs.
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Brilliant.

Thanks!!!
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This was a so-so episode, but the ending was just spectacularly heart warming! I think that Olenna might have murdered the dickface.

Why does Tim, the reviewer, want Meera to get tanned and Brienne to wear prim lady-like clothes? Lets pretty up the Hound and others too for Tim. We have so less good roles for women as it is and you taking potshots at their looks is disturbing. There are plenty of inane comments in the review because of trying to take a stab at humour and failing at it. These reviews are sometimes a chore to read through, though not always.
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Same.
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I think i figured it out :
minute 32: lady Olenna approach sansa to give her condolences
32:16 : while talking to sansa and playing with her hair, Lady Olenna snaps something from sansa's necklace(the one that was given to her last episode by ser Dantos)
32:19 : frontal shot of sansa clearly show that the last rock of her necklace is missing

now fast forward to 47:38 : when Joffrey goes to cut the pie he give his cup to lady Margaery, she holds it in one hand and cover it with the other(i think she slips something in it ) then she puts the cup on the table

48:39: when joffrey ask Tyrion to bring him his cup , you can see lady Margaery pointing out to tyrion where it is. as she wanted him to bring that particular cup .
also notice that when Joffrey start choking, Olenna and Margaery are the first to start screaming. seems to me a bit suspicious.
P.s : i never read the books , so i could be wrong.

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You are right! I just re-watched it to make sure, and right after she's done playing with the necklace, the stone is missing on the far right. You can see the empty clasp.
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+ the fool who gave sansa the necklace later rushed her away
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And you really didn't read the books, or something?
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Sansa may come across as a bit naive and silly but she as cunning as her mum she had two opportunities to leave kings landing and stayed ? Cant wait till the next episode whats on the menu for the wake ?
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Sansa isn't naive nor silly, she just wanted to live in King's Landing since she was a small child and, in this show, your dreams always come true.

...and they only make you regreat the day you ever wanted them to.
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I really didn't think we would be rid of him so soon!! I'm not really sad about it... and i point the finger to Sansa... I guess. She gave the cup to Tyrion after it fell... ? God, I love this show! Makes my head spin in a nice way :D
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Perhaps he simply choked to death on a feather from the pie? After all he created the loose feathers in the pie. He reached for a drink after a few bites. His air pipe could then have swelled up with the stuck feather causing him to choke to death.
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Don't be stupid!
It is quite obvious it was peanut allergy.
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Bad attempt at trolling.
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He vomited and then bled from the eyes and nose! I know that the directors sometimes take some artistic liberties, but that definitely wasn't a choking!
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I think that was the one death in this entire show that I was smiling to see happen.
I think the question, and the shorter list is "Who DIDN'T want him dead?"
His mother...
His grandfather...
His in-laws
His enemies
His uncle
Any of the numerous people that he has insulted or humiliated.
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I doubt his mother and grandfather wanted him dead. It weakens the Lannisters' hold on the throne, with Joffrey's death. With Joffrey, at least they could (somehow) control him and, thus, the kingdom.
Good point though. I guess the murder was a team effort :)
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not cersei certainly but there could be an argument for Tywin killing Joffrey.

Joffrey wasn't controllable he was an insane embarassment and every time he did something right and acted like a KIng...like thanking Tyrion for the book he screwed it up...like hacking the book to pieces. We know that Tywin has no sentimentality where family is concerned they are pawns for his use... so why not kill off the mad king...with no heirs Joffrey's younger brother Tommen would be king and much easier for Tywin as Hand to control. And he gets rid of Tyrion .. two for one :D
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More to the point, Joffrey was a bastard: Jaime & Cersei's bastard. Tywin could hide Myrcella in Dorne and Tommen in anonymity, but he couldn't hide Joffrey anywhere but his own grave.

If I didn't know better (that is, how much she hates Tyrion), I'd say Cersei put the blame in the wrong Lannister.
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Hm .. true. I agree somewhat. I will answer this comment (if I remember to do it :P) after a few more episodes. I don't want to inadvertently give you any spoilers.
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To be fair, its not like people wanted Joffrey dead - bad King or not this did stop the war - it's just that no one is exactly sad that he passed away.

If Cersei wouldn't have accused Tyrion, we could've review suspects for months.
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I wanted Joffrey dead. I wanted him to suffer a long and painful and torturous dea... ehm ... what was the question again? :D
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:D I think most people wanted Joffrey dead...This was the first character in film or literature whose death I have actually enjoyed..kind of worrying what GRRM has done to our psyches.

Spoiler wise I know who did it in the books but have a sneaking suspicion the show is going to move away from the books more and more from here on..certainly they are playing up the whodunnit angle much more.
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Purple wedding spoiled – the king is dead! It’s time for celebration or is it. Another player is out of the game. Who will be the next to take over the Iron Throne? Will we finally see a righteous king or he would bring more chaos than the preceding one? Source Here http://www.vpnranks.com/one-does-not-simply-get-married-in-westeros/
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I do think it can't be Cersei she got rid of the doc but only because she was pissed at brienne and margery he was just up for target practice. Also she capable of devious things but kill her son nah more likely get rid of magery. I starting to think it is now sansa and the granny with the pic below. Both of them have a lot to gain with joffery out of the way. By the way Stanis family are madder then the lannisters and boltons burning family members in the name of relgion disturbing.

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To be fair, Cersei has añways fancy herself as stronger than any man: that she should wear the sword where her husband the gown.

It must really sting to see a Lady that actually wields a sword, saved her twin (the man Cersei used to save herself) and, on top of that, that actually gets along with Margaery.

Brienne is everything Cersei will never be, Jaime or not. Cersei can't help but to attack her.
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Sansa is a complete tool. She is pretty oblivious to the things that are happening around her. I am not telling though, who the puppeteer is, that is pulling the strings. And Sansa usually trusts the wrong people, so conspiring with her to pull a stunt like that is close to suicidal.
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Anybody for second helping of pie lol
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Not with that dead dove in it!
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A little sleight of hand?
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I didnt see that. I'm gonna have to watch it again and observe the wily ways of Oleanna
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So I just watched a kid die in terrible agony and I cheered. You've made me a very bad person, Mr Martin.

As to Joffrey's killer, obviously it is every single inhabitant in Westeros (minus his mum and his father-uncle). Like in the famous Agatha Christie novel, they all came and put a microscopic droplet of poison in his wine.
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Murder on the Orient express? Loved that book! Wouldn't surprise me if GRRM took some inspiration from Agatha Christie. One of my favourite authors.
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I am starting to think that pie has the poison in it as Joffrey wasn't convulsing drinking the wine but only after the pie . Nobody else ate the pie but the only way it can not be the pie is due to fact that the killer would raise suspicion by others if somebody took a nibble .
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Unfortunately after the last season and the Starks pretty much got wiped out I did the look into next season spoilers about loathsome lannisters so this episode didn't have the impact for me as for everyone else. A bit stupid really but the show is so good I will now avoid all spoilers from now on .

It still was shocking to see Purple wedding and I now can see its opened up the Lannisters to threats from all (Tyrrells, Red Viper and Stanis) . Who are the Tommen by the way and Queen Margery will be pissed of that the leftovers were now handed out to the peasants Phhh. Less so for the nutjob of a hubby also I can see that Ramsay has taken over from the villain reins but Theon less nob is waiting for the right moment . Plus his sister stills has to make it over to dreadnought for a war with Bolton army.

I really hope Tyroin stays in the series I mean not only with his mad family and Shae to put up with the guy needs a good break from it all . As for suspects where do you start well :

Cersei firstly motives bearing a problem King Joffrey, she then has a chance to be Queen leaving Magery open , she said to jamie that she was seeing the doc for a problem?

Tyroin well too obvious I mean the sick show joffrey put on is enough of a motive but he wouldn't be at the wedding in the first place.

Sansa prime suspect the fact that she has others that hate joffery and she can sneak off in amongst the chaos, motives she lost her family to joffery, also she could of left with littlefinger and held out for the long game.

The other suspects Red Viper, Tywin and Magery are outside bet as they all have a lot to gain but they might accuse or wait for their for their moment when events unfold.

As for the rest of the episode Brann warging interesting does this mean he can warg into dragons , also no Dany hiking which was good . These two weddings in game of thrones are certainly more exciting then any royal wedding LOL

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the one that planed (and helped to arrange) to kill Joffrey is the one whom chaos suits best - the man with awesome aliby
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The ratings are in, Game of Thrones slit Mad Men's throat last night.
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No wonder. it was a wedding to remember...
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I wish all the weddings iv gone to had such a happy ending.
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There has never been a show smart enough to make that kind of happy ending.
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