Gary Unmarried Season 1 Episode 14

Dennis: Say the words I've been dying to hear.
Gary: I dumped your sister.
Dennis: Those weren't them. Try again.

Gary: Don't take this the wrong way, you're beautiful and I really like you, but you're a teeny bit ... bananas.
Anna: Oh, here we go. I'm getting the banana talk again.
Gary: Again? You've had the banana talk before?

Allison: If you want her to break up with you, just stop being First Date Gary. You know, be Ten Years Down The Road Gary. With the open boxers at breakfast and the peeing in the shower.
Gary: I get it.
Allison: The gassy, scratchy, burpy, slurpy, cutting your toenails on the sofa Gary.
Gary: I get it, I'm a disgusting man.

Allison: Anna's amazing. I couldn't get along without her.
Gary: So, if she was to get angry and suddenly leave town, that wouldn't be cool?
Allison: No, that wouldn't be cool. I mean, I love her and the kids love her. The only thing that isn't cool is that she started dating some creepy older guy. You might know him. He's you, Gary!

Gary: (on the phone) Allison. It's Gary. The answer to all your problems. You know, except for your stretch marks and your screechy voice.

Anna: (to Gary) I bought you some new underwear. I thought you might like to try a pair where the elastic band is attached to the fabric.

Anna: Remember when you and Dennis drove me to college and you took me to the wrong Carolina?
Gary: Yeah. I still think you would have done great at Klempson, though.
Anna: Yeah, but I didn't apply there and I didn't have a place to live, so it would have made for a rough freshman year.

Anna: Hey, sorry to bother you, Gary. Louise wanted me to come by and feed her fish. She said you would forget.
Gary: Louise has fish?

Anna: You don't recognise me, do you?
Gary: Er, throw a drink in my face, See if it jogs my memory.