Gary Unmarried

Season 1 Episode 12

Gary Dates Louise's Teacher

Aired Wednesday 8:30 PM Jan 14, 2009 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
94 votes

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Episode Summary

Gary decides to prove men don't only want to date pretty women by dating Louise's regular looking teacher.

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  • Very funny episode, particularly Gary and Tommy.

    Gary Unmarried is probably rather under appreciated and unfairly so. This was another great episode of the show. Gary and Tommy's scenes about his locker were absolutely hilarious and the boxing match with Louise's art teacher was totally priceless. Even Allison had some truly funny moments, she is a mistress of the put-down. Louise was more engaging and less annoying than she has been in other episodes which was great to see. Whether this show lives to see another season remains to be seen, but it is so much better than most other comedy offerings right now and really deserves it.moreless
  • Gary dates two of Louise's teachers.

    Gary Unmarried truly is one of the best comedies on television. You rarely hear it get any praise, but its unique sense of humor just makes it such an entertaining half hour.

    Jay Mohr is just completely in this character and although he's not giving performances that would earn him an Emmy he's still as funny as anyone else on TV. And Ryan Malgarini who plays Tommy on the show is one of the few talented teenage actors on the small screen right now, and is far superior to Angus T. Jones of Two and a Half Men. Malgarini understands how to properly tell a joke and plays his troubled character perfectly.

    The only thing that could've made this episode better was appearances by Al Madrigal and Ed Begley Jr. but this show proved that it can stand on its own without them. Unfortunately it does not look like there will be a second season of this hilarious series.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (24)

    • Louise: Even my best friend Scotty, who is smarter than me can't take his eyes off of her. When she walks in a room his lazy eye corrects itself.

    • Gary: I'm proud of you son, you know what I'm gonna take you to the Go Kart Ranch for one last hurrah.

    • Gary: Here's the thing, Tom. Women, they really like to know that they're the only one in your life, you know. So what are you going to do? Are you going to move in now with Mary-Ellen?
      Tommy: No. I'm going to crash at Kenny's for a while. You know, the moment I opened the locker, some fake dog poop fell out on me and I laughed like I haven't laughed in a long time.

    • Tommy: (to Gary) Okay, okay. I was over there the other day after school and I put my book in Mary-Ellen's locker. Right? Big deal. If this was Europe, it wouldn't even be an issue.

    • Tommy: Danielle threw me out.
      Gary: What do you mean, she threw you out? That was your locker.
      Tommy: We got in a fight and she threw all my stuff out into the hallway and changed the lock.

    • Louise: (talking about Miss Plummer) Actually, I saw her. She looked great.
      Gary: Really. There's no marks on her? Her fist isn't swollen from me beating it with my face?

    • Miss Plummer: Do you know anything about boxing?
      Gary: I wear boxers. I got my refrigerator from a box. So, I'm as qualified as anybody else, right?

    • Miss Plummer: Hey, Do you want to spar? I promise I won't hurt you.
      Gary: I don't know, I never hit a girl before, except for my cousin Gwen. But that's because she dragged me to a Scott Baio concert.

    • Gary: I thought we really hit it off in the art class, you know. I hope I didn't come on too strong in there.
      Miss Plummer: Oh no, you're just a really effusive person.
      Gary: Yeah. When you say effusive, you mean ... I don't know what that means.

    • Tommy: (on the phone) Danielle, I wish you would have told me you invited Bruan and Teri to our locker. No, no, they're your friends. Are you done? Are you done?
      Gary: (to Allison) He should have got that locker pre-nup.

    • Allison: Gary, you don't ask out your kid's teachers. Everybody knows that. There's too many things that can go wrong and, knowing you, they all will.

    • Louise: Thank you Dad. You've renewed my faith in men.
      Allison: What did he do? Wear pants to go get the mail?

    • Miss St. James: If we're going out on a date, you should call me Erica.
      Gary: Okay, but on the date, can I call you Miss St. James? It's kind of hot.

    • Gary: (to Miss St. James on the phone) Miss St. James. Hi. I can't believe I'm actually calling you to ask you out. This is crazy. But, you know, I'm a tax-payer, you're a teacher. You kind of work for me, right?

    • Gary: Listen. I can't call you, you're my daughter's teacher. It's not right.
      Miss St. James: I'm just a temp. I'm going to be gone in 3 weeks.
      Gary: I'll call you tomorrow.

    • Tommy: Dad, come here. Check out my locker.
      Gary: Alright.
      (Tommy opens locker)
      Gary: Wow! Oh boy. Well Danielle has really girled it up in there, hasn't she.
      Tommy: You know, Kenny used to fart in the locker and then shut the door real quick when he saw me coming. This is way better.

    • Miss St. James: You must be Louise's dad.
      Gary: How did you know that?
      Miss St. James: Well, she's the only one who chose Maya Angelou for our great American women project. We have five papier mache Britneys and one plaster of Paris Hilton.

    • Allison: Gary, make sure to get all your giggles out of the way now, because Louise's math teacher is still named Mr Ballzac.

    • Gary: Louise, not all men are shallow and just into looks. I mean, look at me, I married your mom. I didn't know if she was going to grow into that forehead.

    • Louise: When do guys stop acting so stupid, Mom?
      Allison: When they close the lid on the coffin.

    • Louise: It's Maya Angelou. She's a poet and one of the most amazing women of the 20th century.
      Gary: I don't want to disagree with you, sweetheart, but I was reading Swimsuit Magazine. They listed the 50 most amazing women. She wasn't mentioned.

    • Gary: How did your old locker-mate take it?
      Tommy: Not so good. But it's made him take a look at his life. You know, I think he's finally going to take that hall monitor job.

    • Gary: What's all that son?
      Tommy: Oh, well I had to clear some space out of my locker because Danielle is moving in with me.
      Gary: The girlfriend's moving in? Wow. Okay. But why buy the locker when you're getting the combination for free?

    • Gary: Look, I'm gonna sleep with whoever I have to to prove to my daughter that I'm not shallow.

  • NOTES (1)