Gary Unmarried

Gary: Krandall. Put your head between your legs. Walter: This is not a time for insults, Gary.

Allison: My dad want's a divorce. Walter: This is a marriage counselling emergency! Mom, Dad, I'll be opening a week from Tuesday.

Connie: Honey, I wasn't snooping but I was looking through your underwear drawer - Allison: Mom! Connie: Well somebody's got to tell you this. Men don't like granny panties. They like the T-back thong. (she pulls on hers)

Allison: (to Gary) Your turkey is safe for now. It's cooking at an undisclosed location.

Allison: (talking about the turkey) Who made that for you? Gary: I made it. Look at this. This thing is beautiful. It shold be on the cover of 'Better Homes than Allison' magazine.

Gary: Is it time to tap the Pony keg? Charlie: Oh. I'm not crying. I just go some pretzel salt in my eyes.

Charlie: My place is like an Indiana Jones movie. You touch the wrong thing and you've got this great big boulder bitching at you.

Charlie (talking about Gary's house): Gary, this place is great. Gary: Yes. It's small but its crappy. Charlie: And it smells like a bar. Gary: You know, it didn't come that way. I had to do that all by myself.

Walter: Charlie, you rushed right past us. Come back in. I've just got some Whistler crabs. Charlie: You know you can get a cream for that.

Allison: Why can't you be happy for me now that I've found Walter? Connie: I am. But your fiance seems a little...I don't know how I say this politely...antiquey.