Connie: (about Louise) The point is, you should be celebrating the fact that you both had a hand in creating this incredibly, wonderfully talented child.
Gary: You're right, Connie.
Allison: Thanks, Mom, that's a sweet thing to say.
Connie: I would have killed to have a child with a fraction of this talent.
Gary: (about Allison and Connie) Great. It's the two Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Charlie: It was Gary's idea. He told me if I didn't play along I'd lose my social security.
Louise: I still feel weird about skipping cello practice.
Gary: Well we all do things we feel weird about that might be wrong. After a while that feeling goes away.
Charlie: And if the feeling goes away, was it ever really wrong?
Charlie: Look at me, gary. What do you see?
Gary: A guy with a moustache that's mostly nose hair.
Gary: Don't beat yourself up about it, Tom, okay?
Tommy: No, but that guy seemed really mad about his windshield.
Gary: Alright, look, forget about it. He'll get over it. Bentley - very common car.
Golfer: So how long has your daughter been playing?
Gary: Including today? One minute.
Tommy: What makes you think I'm going to like golf so much?
Charlie: Because every guy loves golf. Hey, you're walking around in the great outdoors. Drinking beer. You're cussing.
Tommy: I like the hell out of that!
Gary: Let's get Tommy interested in golf. Can we play?
Connie: Alright. But no beer, no cigars and it wouldn't kill you to walk the course.
Charlie: If it would, I'd walk it.
Gary: How come you didn't practise this earlier? You know.
Louise: Well, I had choir practice after school, then volleyball, then I had to study for my geography test and then I had my math dinner.
Gary: That's too much stuff, Louise. When are you going to take the time to be a kid?
Louise: In my late thirties, like you.
Gary: Louise, why are you practising so late?
Louise: I'm sorry, Dad. I forgot this was your TV time.
Gary: Alright, look, you know, I got the premium package, I told you. If I don't watch 5 hours of TV a day, I'm throwing money out the window.
Gary: I did it Charlie! I am a golf dad!
Charlie: You know Tiger Woods bought his parents a mansion, and cars and trips. I know I am just the grandfather,but Louise knows I love her right?
Norway: Monday, April 26, 2010 on TVNorge
Although credited, Al Madrigal (Dennis Lopez) does not appear in this episode.