General Hospital: Night Shift

Patrick: You could have internal bleeding, please, calm down. Robert: I'll take my chances! Epiphany: Taking your chances is what got you into this. You keep on pushing your luck, you're gonna run out. Morphine's on board. Robert: You listen, sweetheart, if I can deal with Congolese rebels, I can deal with a bit of blood in the gut. Epiphany: You call me "sweetheart" one more time, the Congo is the last thing you're gonna have to worry about.

Claire: Hey, wait, don't we already have a coffee table? Kyle: No, we have a trunk sitting in the middle of the living room because it was too heavy to carry out to the dumpster. Claire: Well, why don't we just keep it? It'll give us extra storage. Kyle: Uh... it's hideous. Claire: It's free. Kyle: It's an eyesore, which, I'm guessing, is why the previous tenants left it behind. Claire: I asked them if we can have it. Kyle: Oh. Why? Claire: Because I like it. It has character. Kyle: Character is what people say to justify bad taste.

Saira: Mrs. Walker honestly believes she's about to give birth. Leo: Well, I honestly believe that I should be touring with Pearl Jam, but I'm not bringing my ridiculous hallucinations into this hospital and taking resources away from the real medical problems that we've got here. Saira: False pregnancy is a legitimate psychological disorder. Maybe if you bothered to pick up a medical journal every once in a while, you would know how to treat it properly. Leo: You want to play shrink? Saira: Yeah. Leo: Knock yourself out. Saira: Okay. Leo: I've got better things to do with my time. Saira: Yeah, Pearl Jam, seriously? How old are we?