General Hospital: Night Shift

Epiphany: (upon seeing Jagger for the first time) Oh, my Lord. Patrick: What? Epiphany: Who's that? Robin: Oh, that's my friend. Epiphany: Girl, where you been hidin' him?

Saira: Let me guess how this plays out... You swoop in to help me and I start to feel all warm and fuzzy inside about it. You buy me coffee, we bond over a shared love of medicine and, before the week's out, we're sneaking off to the on-call room for a pre-op quickie? Leo: I'd say the third floor supply closet's a bit more private. Saira: Someone's been watching too much Grey's Anatomy.

Kyle: I opened my eyes and there he is sitting in my chair, relieving himself all over my bedroom floor. Claire: Shut up. What'd you do? Kyle: What could I do? I threw a bottle of lotion at him and told him to get the hell out of my room. Claire: Why lotion? Kyle: It was all I had handy. Claire: Why did you have a bottle of lotion... ? Eww!