Carmen: (with flaming red highlights) How's my hair look?
George: Like you fell asleep in ketchup.
(Carmen walks off with Duncan)
Benny: She'll be pregnant within the week.
George: Why do you always have to kick people when they're down mom? You know, you never have anything good to say!
Benny: You're right. We should be celebrating. You're gonna be a grandpa!
George: You're way off mom. Angie and I talked about it, they were just studying.
Benny: Just studying, right. Like when you were 14 and you went into the bathroom to study the Sears catalog?
George: Even after I got out of the house you tried to keep me away from girls. Remember Sylvia at work?
Benny: Sylvia? She was a slut.
George: I know!
George: (sees Carmen and Benny laying on lawn chairs with hair nets on their heads) Ah, I love this exhibit. Lunch lady of the past, and lunch lady of the future!
George: Mom, can you talk to me before you started painting my kids?
Benny: You know when you were 13 and you shaved your head? Now we're even!
George: Mom, the school made me shave my head. I had lice!
Benny: You didn't have lice! You were a thinker so you scratched your head a lot!
George: I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's keeping his pants up.
George: When you're sleeping in your little racecar bed, I'm watching you. Pop quiz! What am I doing right now Duncan?
Duncan: Watching me sir?
Benny: (gasps) It's a condom!
George: Mom, that's a wetnap!
George: Angie! That kid came in here with his pants half off. If he trips, they could have sex by accident!
Ernie: (at teenage party) Ok, who's got a hot single mom?
(all kids raise hand)
Ernie: I said hot.
(kids put hands down)
(George runs in on Carmen and Duncan studying)
Carmen: Dad, what are you doing?
George: I'm just making sure everyone has a pair of pants, and they're on. Ok, this room's good!
George: Max, do you remember when you got in trouble for spying on your sister?
Max: Yeah, you said it was wrong.
George: Well son, as you get older you're going to find out that the line between right and wrong is going to move around alot. Go spy on your sister.
Max: What should I look for?
George: If they do anything bad like, swearing or stealing, or anything that makes you feel happy in a way you don't understand.
This episode shares its name with a series of children's books about a monkey living with man in a yellow hat.
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