Carmen: (In a bar) So what does a mortgage broker do?
George: (Comes up behind her) He goes to jail for ten years for picking up a sixteen year old!
(George is driving Benny and her friends through a drive-thru)
Gina: (To the speaker) You know I don't feel like a burger, I'm in the mood for a little Mexican. What time do you get off?
(Everyone in the car, except George, bursts out laughing)
George: (Pushing Gina back, disgusted) Gina, there are some jobs even Mexicans won't do.
George: I can't believe you never let me drive your car all those years because you were worried about me getting hurt.
Benny: You're not that special, drop it.
George: Is that why you never let me play football?
Benny: Look George, if I was going to find a helmet to fit your head, I would have had to take out the padding. I was already growing tomatoes out in the back yard, I didn't want another vegetable in the house.
(Carmen used a lame excuse)
George: Why don't I get a shovel so I can fertilize this crap?
Angie: If I don't get some alone time in my own home... you're mom and I are gonna come to blows.
George: Put up you're fists of fury... I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser in her ear. You cry if you're shoe pinches. Good luck Bambi.
Benny: I don't deserve to be conscious right now.
(Benny passes out)
George: We got 8 hours until she wakes up, we can leave her in Mexico. We put her in a Pikachu costume, put a sign on her saying "Beat me, I'm filled with candy"!
ABC's "George Lopez" ranked as the No. 1 non-sports program in its half-hour among Adults 18-49 (3.0/9). "George Lopez" defeated its comedy competition in the time period, CBS' "Still Standing," by 11% in Total Viewers (8.1 million vs. 7.3 million) and by 25% in Adults 18-49 (3.0/9 vs. 2.4/7).
George's conversion with the speaker box at the fastfood joint was part of George's "Why You Crying" stand-up.
George tells Angie to dress up Benny in a Pikachu costume, referencing the popular cartoon show.