George Lopez

Season 4 Episode 14

George Gets Assisterance

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Aired Wednesday 8:00 PM Feb 01, 2005 on ABC
6.5
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Episode Summary

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When George finds out money cuts are forcing Max back into normal classes, he goes to a PTA meeting to voice his opinion, but accidentally spills the beans to his unknowing sister about their family connections.

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    Valente Rodriguez

    Valente Rodriguez

    Ernesto 'Ernie' Cardenas

    Belita Moreno

    Belita Moreno

    Benita 'Benny' Lopez

    Constance Marie

    Constance Marie

    Angie Palmero Lopez

    George Lopez

    George Lopez

    George Lopez

    Masiela Lusha

    Masiela Lusha

    Carmen Conzuela Lopez

    Luis Armand Garcia

    Luis Armand Garcia

    Max Lopez

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (16)

      • George: This school can't afford special ed classes, but they can afford urinals that flush themselves.
        Angie: Why are you out of breath?
        George: I set 'em all off at once. It sounded like a waterfall... and then the sound of the water made me have to go again.

      • George: How would you feel if you found out you were adopted and I wasn't your real father?
        Carmen: Come on Dad, don't say that. Unless you're absolutely positive that it's true! That would explain so much...
        George: Well, you're mine. If you were adopted I would've returned you already.

      • George: What do I always say?
        Max: Ernie isn't a role model.
        George: Exactly, he's a clown. Except-
        Max: Some clowns aren't funny.

      • (Max announced he is out of special-ed)
        George: See, that's the way the Lopezs do it! We fail, we fail, we fail, we fail until one day, BOOM... we're average.

      • Linda: Why don't you want me to meet her? Are you jealous? You don't want to share your mother with me?
        George: Share? I'll trade! I can be Italian! (In an Italian accent) Try the Canoles! Forget about it! I know a guy! Whatcha! Badd-bing ho!
        Linda: That's a stereotype.
        George: What do you care? You're a Mexican.

      • Benny: I realized I made a HUGE mistake!
        George: Yeah, Mom, but you said you couldn't keep the both of us.
        Benny: I know. I should have taken her! She's smart, successful, hell of a woman!
        George: Yeah, of course she turned out great. She was raised by people!
        Benny: Hurts being the ugly sister, doesn't it?

      • (at the school board meeting)
        Linda: Our first topic is drug safety...
        George: We already know about that. 'Hugs, not drugs."

      • George: So... Linda, my favorite sister, you know, your nephew Max is a great kid. Sure needs to get back in that special-ed class.
        Linda: I know. I'm sorry. I can't help you.
        George: But I-I just hooked you up with your real mom.
        Linda: And now I owe you?
        George: Hell, yeah, you owe me! I was the one with the crappy childhood!

      • Linda: What are my real mother and father like?
        George: Well, our father's easy. He ran out on Mom before you were born. I didn't know him, but I tracked him down last year. I punched him in the face, he asked me for a kidney, and he died.
        Linda: And my mother?
        George: Oh, yeah. She's kind of hard to describe in just a few words. She's a short... bitter... drunk. Actually, that covers it.

      • Linda: I'll arrange for Max to retake the test. And then, maybe he won't do so well and I'll be forced to put him back in special ed.
        George: Wow, you're already holding one of your own back. Congratulations Linda, you are Mexican.

      • (Benny refuses to talk to Linda)
        George: If you just open up, show er what you're really like... I guarantee she'll never want to see you again.
        Benny: She;s not going anywhere. She wants to make me feel guilty. And I've got nothing to be sorry about. I couldn't keep both of you. But I made sure she had a good home, and nice parents.
        Goerge: Is that what this is about. Deep down, you feel guilty?
        Benny: I don't need to hear this from you.
        George: Look: my father wasn't in my life, and I always felt like there was something missing because I didn't know him. I'm telling you mom, that's how Linda is feeling right now.
        Benny: I am nothing like your father was.
        George: If you walk out that gate, you are.

      • (Linda arrives at the house)
        Max: What's going on?
        Angie: Uh, you know how, uh, sometimes strangers come by, and we find out they're related to your dad? Uh, uh, this is one of those nights. Go.
        Max: (he goes upstairs) Carmen, they found another one!

      • Linda: (after finding out she was adopted) I woke up this morning, and I was the only child of two loving, Italian parents. Now it's 11:00 p.m., and I'm a Mexican.

      • Benny:(about Linda) The last time I saw her, she was all crying and needy.
        Angie: She was four days old!
        Benny: People don't change.

      • George: This is LA, you want to learn Spanish? Take a bus.

      • Lisa: If you don't sit down right now, I'm going to have to have you removed.
        George: Look I am not going to sit down till my son gets the help that he needs and I dare somebody to make a move 'cause I'm from the street wacha!

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    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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