Mel:: George, I want you to fire Ernie.
George:: Come on. Ernie's a great worker.
Mel:: Save it. You gave him a warning, instead of losing the weight, he turns around and sues me. No. I don't wanna see him at that factory again.
George:: This job is all he has. He'll be crushed.
Ernie: (Upon realizing how fat he is) Look at me, I'm such a loser...
George: You're not a loser, you're a great guy with a good heart... that happens to be working its ass off.
Ernie: All I got is my lucky purple suit from Prom.
George: Lucky? You went with your cousin and she gave birth in the bathroom.
Vic: You know, if I close my eyes, I could swear a little girl was punching this bag. Come on! Visualize something that makes you angry and go for it!
George: I would, but the bag is in the way.
Mel Powers: I just got a letter from Ernie's lawyer accusing me of being prejudice towards fat people. Does anyone remember my second wife?
George: Oh yeah, I remember Cheryl. She came to that Christmas party in a green dress and you fired the person who hung an ornament on her.
(Ernie crashes the fork-lift into the vending machine)
Benny: Wow. When Ernie wants mini donuts, there is no stopping him.
George (to Ernie): Hey don't jump. We're on a fault line.
Ernie: I think you're going to be proud of me Mel. I've been dieting and working out hard. I think you're in for a big surprise.
Mel (under his breath): Not as big a surprise as that scale is in for.
George: Dude, outside of Chicago your stomach is the biggest beef processing plant in the country.
Salesman: What size pants do you wear?
Ernie: Well now, I used to be a 36, but I gained a few pounds since then. I guess I'm a 38-40.
Salesman: And what shall we be doing with the other leg?
Mel (telling George how to fire Ernie): Do what I did to my second wife. Write "you're outta here" on a cake. That way she was able to get good news and bad news.
Angie: Who wants a nice healthy snack of carrots?
Ernie: Nice try
Ernie: You're pushing carrots, but you got cake in your teeth. You're a horrible host.
George: I just need to think of a way for him to kill his appetite...Mom, do you have any naked pictures of yourself? (gags) That last one tasted like hot dog.
George: I'm the manager. it's my job to defend the workers
Benny: You never defended me
George: It's not true. I cleaned the stall in the men's room where all that nasty stuff was said about you.
Benny: What did it say?
George: I don't remember. I wrote it a long time ago.
Ernie: So I gained a couple of pounds
George: Couple of pounds?! You're huge. You know you might want to check your belly button I think I saw a cat crawl in there to have kittens.
Ernie: I'm sorry George I just sat down for a minute to rest my knees. I guess I must have nodded off. I don't know why they're bothering me so much. George: You know you're supposed to listen to your body. And right now your knees are screaming "your crushing us! Eat a salad!" George: Your sore knees are slowin' down production.