Ruth: You know what they say: "Chicken soup is a mother's penicillin."
George: When I was a kid, my mom's penicillin was "hey fathead, walk it off."
George: Okay, I'm ready.
Benny: What's the knife for?
George: If I'm wrong and there's no fifty in there, I'm gonna have to stab my eyes out.
Benny: What kind of monster do you think I am?
George: Some kind of half woman, half bat. You can fly, but every time you do you get a little bit shorter, so you only do it in emergencies.
Benny: (to George) I've been coming to this house every day since Christmas and the money's always been here. Ruth's here a couple of weeks and now the money's gone. You do the math. You'll probably get it wrong but it's important you try.
George: The only stuff my mom ever put on the fridge was embarrassing. One time I got an F and she put it up on the fridge. So I got her letter from the free clinic and put it on the fridge to show we both flunked a test.
George:(to Ruth) That's my mom. You may have heard of her. After her last confession, Father John was seen in the shower saying "I can't get clean. I can't get clean."
I Dream Of Jeanie
Guest Star Barbara Eden wishes that she could cross her arms and blink her eyes and make things happen. This is in reference to her famous role as Jeanie in I Dream of Jeanie, in which she played a Genie with the power to grant wishes.