Carmen: (About Jason's father) Why does Jason keep trying to please him? Nothing he ever does is good enough for him.
George: When you grow up without love, you'll do anything for it. When I was a kid, I considered lighting myself on fire so my mom would wrap me in a blanket and hug me.
Carmen : That's awful! You and Mom love me unconditionally, right?
George: We won't know until you're on fire.
Angie: Where's Jason?
George: I couldn't find him.
Angie: How could you not find him?
George: Hey, just because he's on steroids doesn't mean there's a trail of overgrown footprints in the street.
(George thinks Carmen and Jason had sex)
Ernie: I don't think they did anything George. Its hard to get busy when you're parents are in the house. You're trying to do it, and then your mom walks by with a robot and eating a turkey leg, and the moment's gone.
(George caught Jason in Carmen's room and think they had sex)
Jason: Mr.Lopez, you took me into your house. I wouldn't betray you like that. Besides, you'd be able to hear us. I mean, we can hear everything you're doing.
(For a moment, everyone stares in shock)
Angie: (to George) You had to be a screamer.
Blaine: A good parent will do anything he can to give his son a competitive edge.
George: Look, my son doesn't need a competitive edge. He just made 200 bucks tonight selling your son pee.
Vic: (about Jason: Mood swings, aggressiveness, smashing things. Either he's on drugs or he's my ex-wife.
Angie:(about Jason) So, he's calling his dad to come pick him up?
George: Um, no, he's calling his dad to tell him he's living here.
Angie: WHAT!? I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! (she closes the door so no one can hear) You just decided that the boy who did roid rage, bought our son's pee, and slept with our daughter is gonna stay here, and you didn't even talk to me about it?!
George: Why you gotta say it that, all negative? That's why the kids come to me, 'cause sabes gay, I love 'em conditional.
Angie:(to george about jason) He bought our son's pee
(After Jason hugs George)
George: Uhhh Jason no hurt George