Ernesto 'Ernie' Cardenas
Benita 'Benny' Lopez
Angie Palmero Lopez
Carmen Conzuela Lopez
We learn that George's middle name is Edward, just like the real life George Lopez.
Ernie: (About other George) Look at him! It's been ten seconds and he already made her laugh. How does he do it?
George: Well Ernie, peacocks have their feathers, a buck has his antlers, and then there are the Lopez's.
Ernie: I wish I had antlers.
George: I'm going to 2396 and kick the fake George Lopez's butt!
Angie: It's 2796!
George: I don't care! I'm going to the 2000 block and kicking everybody's butt!
Ernie: I can't believe there's another George Lopez. I wonder if there's another me. I wonder if he has a better life than me.
George: He's probably killed himself by now.
Angie: (Answering the telephone. To George) It's your dad. The other George gave him our number.
(George pauses, then gets up, walks over, takes the phone, and hangs it up)
Angie:(to Other George) If George's father needed a birth certificate to make you legal then, that means he wasn't a citizen.
George: But that can't be right. He'd have to be a citizen. He was married to my mom.
(Benny gets a guilty look on her face)
George: YOU WEREN'T MARRIED?!
Benny: I tried to tell you when you were two, and I tried again when you were three, but...
George: Have you ever in your life told me one thing that was the truth? Are you my mother? Are you even a woman, 'cause there's been some talk and I'm getting tired of defending you.
Benny: We got married. I just wanted to wait 'til I was pregnant enough to fit into my mom's wedding dress.
George: This is amazing. I found out from Aunt Cecelia that my dad was alive. I called every Manny Lopez in California and I couldn't find him. I was beginning to lose hope.
Other George: Oh he's in Phoenix, he's in the book.
George: ... And so ends a 35 year search. Who wants pudding?
Other George: I'm not related to her (Benny), am I?
George: I'm already jealous of you...
(George and the Other George are talking about their dad)
Angie: This is an amazing story.
Benny: Oh yea, it's like a fairy tale. A guy knocks up a seventeen year old girl, dumps her, goes to Mexico and knocks up another girl... and in the woods, there are some animals that sing.
George:(to the other George) You gotta tell me about our dad.
Benny: I already know enough about your dad. Lets talk about your mom. Exactly how big of a puta was she?
(Angie covers Max's ears)
Angie: Oh my God! Stop it!
Other George: No no. It's ok. Now I know why dad named our dog 'Benny'.
George: (Realizing he has a brother) Do you realize what this means?
Benny: Yeah, that your father never learned how to use a damn condom.
George: He had another son mom. (to other George) We're half brothers.
Other George: I got a half brother? Wow.
Benny: Hey, why don't you find three more? Then you can be on Family Feud.
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