Ernesto 'Ernie' Cardenas
Benita 'Benny' Lopez
Angie Palmero Lopez
Carmen Conzuela Lopez
George: You know when I was your age, I used to dream about playing pro baseball.
Jason: This is different, Mr. Lopez. I'm actually good!
George: Why did you lie?
Carmen: 'Cause I knew you'd freak out if you knew Jason's parents were out of town.
Angie: Well what kind of parents just leave their kid and then go off to live in another country? That can't be legal.
George: No, it's not, it's called abandonment... at least that's what the cops said when they dragged my mom back from Dwana, and made her untie me from the lemon tree.
(George and Angie caught Carmen in Jason's house)
George: Carmen, we talked about this! You agreed you wouldn't have sex!
Carmen: Dad, I'm not having sex! I'm cooking and doing Jason's laundry!
George: (to Angie) When we get home, we need to go on the internet and find out what "cooking and doing laundry" mean in slang.
Carmen: (to the cop) Jason can't spend the night in jail!
George: I spent the night in jail once and nothing bad happened to me.
Carmen: Dad this is different. Jason's pretty!
(George takes a picture of Benny for Carmen)
Benny: What are you doing?
George: Showing Carmen what a hard life of partying does, now show me your ankles. (Benny chases him out of the house)
George: (Shines a flashlight into Carmen's eyes) Hurts, doesn't it, drugy?
George: Angie, her pupils are huge!
Angie: She has dark brown eyes, that's the way they always look!
George: Really, they're not green?
The person that Max says was disqualified from the science fair has been named after the writer of this episode, Kaplan.
In the last scene of this episode, the chalkboard on the side of the fridge appears to read, "Be the miracle!" This could possibly be a reference to the 2003 comedy Bruce Almighty.
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